teenage boy staying over with girlfriend Post Reply

[CHRH]

If they are anything like I was as a teenager allowing them to share in the parent's house is a way of guaranteeing they won't have sex.  The idea of it with my parents just down the landing - no no no.

And when my teenage daughter asked I decided that getting her home safely was more important than any qualms I might have.  And once her boyfriend had escorted her home at some ungodly hour it seemed only right that he wasn't then expected to proceed home on his own but was safe at ours.

[HayleighC]

In my experience - 17 year olds in 2019 have to handle much more mature and complex influences and pressures than we were exposed to 20-30 years ago.

You will be allowing him private space and time to pursue and develop intimacy with his girlfriend. It is impossible for a 17 year old to have this without some degree of consent from an adult. This is essential for their first sexual encounters to be ones of mutual respect, enjoyment and self discovery. You have the chance to give him this gift - along with the conversations that are an essential part of parenting a young man in this day and age - which will safeguard him from harmful allegations and pave the way to a life of sexual fulfilment, pleasure and genuine respect and intimacy.

Or you can leave them to grab moments where they can, rushing, in fear of being disturbed, in cold and discomfort - I know what I would have wanted myself and what I wanted for my sons and daughter.

17 years-olds (and younger) are subjected to far more issues than those of 20-30 years ago, and even those of 10 years ago.  That makes them more worldly but not more mature.  There is a big difference between maturity and worldliness.  They are far less mature at their age today than those before them.  Many are very much the children that they legally still are in most matters (though above the age of consent).  In fact, not just are so many 16/17 year-olds so immature that there is a probably a good case for raising the age of consent but many 18/19/20 year-olds are so immature that there is probably a good case to raise the age of adulthood too. 

I'm almost 28, so it is not that long ago that I was that age, and my twin boy and girl are almost three years old, so it is a good few years before I may have to face this dilemma with them but I cannot imagine ever giving my consent to it.