Help incredibly noisy kids behind me and to the side of me Post Reply

[Jane1977]

Hi folks,
Desperately looking advice here. The house behind me has three kids. Who I know are just playing and totally get that. But for the last six years the noise levels of them banging balls and screaming for hours upon hours means I can't enjoy my own garden and have to hide away with earphones on. Over those 6 years I have complained by letters and to the army who owns the house. But yet again it's started up again. On top of that another issue has occurred my lovely neighbors beside me moved out last summer. And a new family has moved in they seem nice. But just my luck the son has the spotlight on sometimes 8 sometimes 9 and now sometimes 10pm at night. Yet again I don't want to fall out with anyone but letters have been sent I have went in and asked it to stop. But it's just not stopping. Can anyone help I'm at my wit's end. I can't afford to move and don't know what to do. Oh and the council are useless.

Please help, preferably no jokes.

[NVmum80]

Really not sure you can do anything, to be honest. We’re in trying times and containing children in such a small space isn’t easy....Nevermind when parents are trying to work and they can’t even get them to the park. It’s just impossible to keep them in the house or very quiet for extended periods of time. If you haven’t had a response, I say now isn’t the right time to push the issue, given what everyone is going through. Best to be in it together, accepting the bad, so we can come out together. And when we do, maybe they’ll be more considerate of your situation. I say consider yourself lucky for not having little ones nipping at your feet all day, put the headphones and relax in your garden!

[LP73]

Move to the Country?! In all honesty it is London and you cannot expect them to stay in and be quiet.
Yes 10pm is late and sending letters is not the right way of dealing with it either.

[ron]

If this is played harmlessly through a loudspeaker at high volume level (adults will not hear !)
the kids will go indoors or close windows as find very annoying to say the least.

Teen ringtone has two uses:
The High frequency tone cannot be heard by adults so if used as a ringtone at school the teacher will not know your phone is ringing.

The second Adult use is to play over public address system in shopping malls or supermarkets and other locations where groups of youths hang out from boredom or to make trouble. Adult shoppers will not notice the sound but it will be harmless and very annoying to young troublemakers who will leave the area. (burn .wav file on CD and set to repeat play when used)
Download here free from my site. Hope it is of use... switch off when their noise stops and on if it starts they will soon get it.

ssrichardmontgomery(dot com)/download/teenringtone.wav
or
ssrichardmontgomery(dot com)/download/teenringtone.wav
(copy and paste url into your browser)

[Hawthorne4]

Beats by Dr Dre Sound Cancelling Wireless Headphones. 

 

[dudette]

Really Ron that’s a horrible thing to suggest. Keeping young kids confined all day is just cruel and I’m afraid the OP just comes across as a grumpy old killjoy. If you don’t like the sound of children playing then you really should have moved to the country years ago. If you can’t afford to move now then go and buy some noise cancelling headphones and read Oscar Wild’s The Selfish Giant.

[Sparklingbee]

Jane1977 I totally understand how you feel. I have also felt like that in the past, in fact I ended up going to see a hypnotherapist which has helped a bit to 'filter' out the noise that stressed me out completely. We had a period of time where the noise would start from very early in the morning which woke us up as our bedroom is at the back of the house. Our house did not feel like a home because the noise was so intrusive - there was no escape. We are lucky we have considerate neighbours and a few polite whats app messages have sorted out most of the issues. What we found was that the parents often don't realise how noisy their kids are because they are a bit immune to it. There is nothing selfish about expecting to be able to enjoy your home and garden without the intrusion of screaming and shouting kids. I think that if we were to play extremely loud music all day from our garden I am sure we would get complaints.  However, I guess there has to be a balance on both sides. With regards to the spotlight, have you tried the council ? - although I am not sure that this would be a priority in the current circumstances. Does the light and noise impact anyone else - perhaps you could join forces and address the situation jointly?? Sorry this is not much help but I wanted you to know I understand how you must be feeling.

[judithhoward]

You have my sympathy, as I suffered from noisy children for years, to the point I even considered moving!  Unfortunately, as Jane commented, parents to get immune to it - or they go elsewhere in the house where they don't hear it, and leave the au pair in charge of the kids!    I don't think it's unreasonable to ask them to find quieter games which don't involve banging or knocking on the walls - maybe some craft activites?  
Despite the current restrictions, as far as I know Wandsworth Common is still open, and if parents are working from home or on furlough, surely they can take the children on the common to let off steam?  (actually easier now than when parents were out at work!). 
As a footnote, as the weather gets warmer, may I ask everyone please to go easy on BBQs, as being at home we all need to enjoy our gardens without being assaulted by stinking greasy smoke.....!!  Maybe cook indoors and picnic outside?   Many thanks!

[Lilyr]

I disagree, some people are very sensitive to noise, those with fibromyalgia, autism, misophonia & HSP, and for us the sound of kids screaming is like a nail hammered into our eardrums 😵.... it's not a "choice" to be massively stressed by this, the sound of a scream is designed to 'jolt' the amygdala in the brain, practically triggering a panic attack. Long term exposure to such noise is known to be hugely deleterious to health (read the LSE 2015 report on this). Our Scandinavian neighbours, far more savvy than the UK) are recognising this & starting to take steps to control domestic noise & strengthen their legislation.
Can't come soon enough...
Sure we know kids should play outside & the sound of a child's laughter is truly wonderful.....but we're not talking about laughter, we're talking about that high pitched squealing that parents appear to become immured to & expect the rest of us to as well....they are never told to play quietly or come inside, parents are probably just glad it isn't in their vicinity.
This is selfish...... because we didn't choose to have children and don't welcome the issues your choices (children) inflict on us... please try to parent them & recognise that noise is an issue for some people and we'll take their laughter, just a little less of the screams please?....

[Lilyr]

I disagree, some people are very sensitive to noise, those with fibromyalgia, autism, misophonia & HSP, and for us the sound of kids screaming is like a nail hammered into our eardrums 😵.... it's not a "choice" to be massively stressed by this, the sound of a scream is designed to 'jolt' the amygdala in the brain, practically triggering a panic attack. Long term exposure to such noise is known to be hugely deleterious to health (read the LSE 2015 report on this). Our Scandinavian neighbours, far more savvy than the UK) are recognising this & starting to take steps to control domestic noise & strengthen their legislation.
Can't come soon enough...
Sure we know kids should play outside & the sound of a child's laughter is truly wonderful.....but we're not talking about laughter, we're talking about that high pitched squealing that parents appear to become immured to & expect the rest of us to as well....they are never told to play quietly or come inside, parents are probably just glad it isn't in their vicinity.
This is selfish...... because we didn't choose to have children and don't welcome the issues your choices (children) inflict on us... please try to parent them & recognise that noise is an issue for some people and we'll take their laughter, just a little less of the screams please?....

[pie81]

Tricky. I don’t know what your letters and requests have said but in general I would say a specific, limited request will have most success.

So rather than asking for “less noise” perhaps you could pinpoint one or two specific noises that bother you most and ask the parents to see if they can get the children to reduce those?

You could also ask if there are times they are usually indoors/not around so that you can use the garden then.

[Beancounter]

We live near a school where the screaming from the playground is non-stop. They stagger playtimes and use the same space for sport so we have the sports teacher bellowing as well. It’s a big problem now people are working at home.

We shall be contacting the council and getting them to monitor the noise level, and there are also barriers which absorb sound which the school can put round the boundaries. It’s a private school so they can afford it.

Now people are at home more and working, people will need to be more considerate. If the property is owned by the army you should be able to ask for the sound barriers.

[honors79]

I'm with Dudette all the way. I'm afraid that children living in family homes making noise is an occupational hazard. If one buys or rents a house in London, one can almost certainly anticipate that families will live in the vicinity and that they will have children who play, both inside and in the garden. Society has become pretty joyless if we can't accommodate the sound of children playing outside! If your complaint was that they were partying all night or playing loud music until the small hours, I'd be more sympathetic, but I think there isn't very much you can or should do.

[ronangel]

Try this one that worked for me!I
had a similar problem in the 1970’s when I was working nights. Every morning when I was just going to bed at about 7am the man that rented rooms in house next door  upon waking up would play music  with singing very loudly directly on the other side of my bedroom wall. I asked him to stop politely  explaining the situation. He lived alone  worked in the theatre and was a highly strung effeminate sort of person  easily offended that always wanted to get his own way, so totally ignored me.I tried everything blocks of wood against my side of the wall drilling holes in blocks with power hammer drill when music started, banging with hammer at the same time! Nothing would stop him.
He always went to bed about 11pm to midnight when I could not hear any sound from next door when I was going to work.One Sunday night when I knew he would be up at 7am for work on the Monday I invited my brother around with an army Bugle,he borrowed as could play the trumpet. I locked the front door and windows of terraced house. Closed curtains so house was completely dark. I waited with my brother for it all to go quite next door between about 12-1am my brother let rip with Bugle calls directly in front of the wall for about 2 mins. Then stopped so as not to upset anyone else nearby house was blacked out so would not know where coming from. We heard him scream and a sound like falling out of bed or knocking over furniture, Ran down the stairs and into the street came to my front door banging  on it and shouting abuse. This was Battersea  no shops or pubs nearby. Quite a few neighbours must have called the police as cars came from all directions, sort of response you would get for robbery or murder at that period. We kept very quiet in house no lights or anything to show anyone home. We could hear him through front door telling police about noise screaming and shouting, but did not answer police knocking and they had no reason to force way in as other neighbours said seen or heard nothing. He was told to go back inside and keep quite or would be arrested for a breach of the peace. My brother crept out about an hour later and drove home when all quite. Never heard or saw man again or anything from neighbours. He  left about 2 weeks later.  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7igso5_MBE
 

[Jools69]

I hear your pain. There are young kids near me that scream and shout outside from dawn to dusk. It's relentless and there is never any respite from it. They are outside screaming irrespective of whether it dark, raining, snowing etc. Personally I deal with it by wearing headphones and pumping white noise through them, however I can usually still hear these kids regardless. I feel so sad that I can never just read a book in any kind of peace or without headphones on. Other than that, you will just have to move because you will eventually go crazy. It will never stop. Do everything you can to move. Life is too short for putting up with this kind of thing.