Next door vegan neighbours objecting to us barbecuing Post Reply

[meatandveg]

Really hoping someone can help.

Two summers ago we had our small garden landscaped. One of the features was a mini outdoor kitchen to house a gas barbecue. This sits on the adjoining wall between us and the house on the left. We spoke to our neighbours about this before we went ahead.

This summer some new neighbours moved in. They seem very lovely but a couple of weeks ago they approached us to request that we didn't cook meat on the barbecue as the smell goes right into their kitchen and they are vegan.

I don't want to be unhelpful but at the same time I'm not sure it's a fair request given that they have bought a terraced house.

We use it a lot as (ironically ) I don't like my house filled with the smell of cooked meat and fish so whenever we cook meat etc. we do tend to cook it outside year round.

I don't want to fall out with my neighbours but they've started to slam doors and make disapproving comments.

Not really sure how to solve this or even if I want to compromise on something that took time to design and is important to us. Any suggestions much appreciated.

[Pigeon1]

It’s your house and you are not doing anything illegal or even remotely questionable. I think the fact that they even asked is ridiculous! I am a vegetarian but would never dream of asking my neighbours not to bbq.

[wipeout75]

Thats ridiculous. You are quite entitled to use your house & garden as you wish,

[Sheds]

Hi Meatandveg

I really feel for you.  I have sat with it mulling over for a while.  Seems to me that I would carry on doing what I always do, neither more nor less than usual.  It is so easy to dive down the rabbit hole of trying to appease your neighbours and long term it will no doubt lead to more and more hoop jumping.  It appears an unreasonable request although I have an element of empathy for the vegans next door, especially if they also don't like the idea of meat cooking/eating, a double whammy.

It probably seemed obvious in the 1st instance to request the bbq'ing to stop.  That is non-negotiable.  So next is for them to figure out a way to mitigate their experience that doesn't involve the cooking to stop.  I guess the quickest and easiest way would be for them to embrace the situation rather than fight it - unlikely to happen.  How about they get themselves an air purifier that is specifically to get rid of cooking odours that they can switch on when they find the smells offensive?  Had a quick look on Amazon and they can be bought for £60 or so (some cheaper, some much more expensive).  With that working well it will leave plenty of space for your two families to get to know each other, maybe become good friends and in time to come, have a good old laugh at this crazy situation!

That's just one idea, am sure there are heaps of others.

Wish you well.

[nairobi365]

Hi Meatandveg,

I feel huge empathy with your neighbours as you say that you use you BBQ alot and it's beside the boundary fence. That would become a nightmare for anyone who minded. My neighbours do occasional BBQs which fill my whole house with a smell I really dislike. I shut windows and cope because it's occasional. I also had somebody living here who's chest couldn't cope and had to go out whenever there was a BBQ.

One compromise is that you move your BBQ furthest away from them and BBQ less. Smell is as invasive as noise and there have been lots of postings re neighbour noise.

Maybe sit and have a chat together and find a compromise as I wouldn't be comfy doing something that really upset people in their free time.

[pie81]

I agree it’s unreasonable for them to expect you to stop using the bbq altogether.

However it sounds like you are using it an awful lot - every time you eat meat and fish, and year round? That would annoy me if I was your neighbour, and I’m a meat lover. It is a very strong smell. You say you don’t like the smell of cooking meat and fish in your house, but by using the bbq you are displacing the smell onto someone else who’s not even eating the meal.

I think the occasional bbq (twice a week?) in the warmer months is fine and something they will need to get used to, but much more often than that is a bit antisocial.

[dudette]

Wow. A lot of selfish people on here including you I’m afraid. You say you don’t want to cook the meat and fish inside your home as you don’t like the smell but you seem perfectly happy for that smell to waft over to your neighbours’ garden and offend them instead. I’m totally with your neighbours. I hate the smell of barbecues (plus the accompanying carcinogenic fumes) and when our neighbours use theirs I feel really miffed about having to retreat inside and shut the doors on a sunny day. I think they are perfectly within their rights to expect to be able to enjoy their garden without breathing in someone else’s offensive cooking smells. As you say, you live in a terraced house (would you think it’s ok for them to play loud music in the middle of the night - not your neighbours’ fault you chose to live in a terraced house?!) and so I’m afraid the responsibility is with you to be a considerate neighbour before this escalates and they start getting court orders. For goodness sake go and talk to them and work out a compromise. Better still, invite them round and cook them a delicious vegan lunch on your bbq. Maybe they can give you some ideas?

[meatandveg]

Thanks for that suggestion wipeout75 I think it is a great idea. I would be very happy to buy them an air purifier. I really don't want to fall out with my neighbours.

Sheds we have considered moving the barbecue but to be honest it is a small garden and everything 'just fits'. We had built in seating put in and a hidden shed. It will just cost too much to re do it all. Thanks for your suggestion in any case it is much appreciated,

[meatandveg]

oops I seem to have to have attributed the wrong suggestions to the wrong users. Thank you all!!!

[NoodleFan]

Hmmm initially I thought your garden, you should be allowed to do what you like. It is an awful smell though - not just the meat but the fuel. Occasionally our neighbours will have a bbq and I’ll think oh great and shut the doors and windows...but if that was most nights then I’d be getting pretty peeved. That’s not even our direct neighbours either.
I appreciate you’ve detsigned your garden around this but not sure it’s really that practical in London.
Hopefully it’ll be better for them now it’s getting colder but maybe you can agree on one night a week so they can plan around it.

[Dickyd]

As I read your post I think my blood pressure increased! How utterly stupid and pathetic for these people to request you to stop BBQ-ing. As for the likes of Dudette, you need to GET A LIFE and let others get on with theirs!

It seems that this is part of your way of life so you carry on BBQ-ing for as long and as often as you like!
Good luck to you.

[dudette]

Dickyd - thanks for the suggestion I get a life. What a lovely person you sound. Let’s just look after number one eh and stuff anyone else. What a great recipe for humanity.

[reggiebe]

This is an outrageous request from your neighbours. You're well within your rights to use your BBQ as and when you want - that's not being selfish, that is life and one of the benefits of having a garden! It's crazy to try to dictate your neighbours cooking habits or diet because of a smell which you don't like. I think buying them an air purifier is a great olive branch, and they really can't justify expecting you to do anything beyond that.

People comparing this to sound pollution are using a bit of a strawman - they aren't the same at all. You can close your windows for the ~1 hr that your neighbour is BBQing in the evening, you can't bolster your soundproofing as and when.

I'm a bit aghast that they would even think to ask - do they also walk down the street and complain to restaurants when you can smell them cooking? What a delicate life they must lead!

I understand not wanting to fall out with your neighbours, but don't think you're in the wrong here, OP.

[TFP]

Honestly, someone who, in terraced housing with shortish gardens, barbequed most meals year-round would be a pretty strong contender for 'neighbour from hell' status, e.g. if you think about the typical styles of housing in the US 'barbecue belt' states, they're not in any way similar.

I don't really know what a considerate BBQ frequency might be [it depends I suppose on what you're cooking and how long for] somethign roughly along the lines of: once a week more than fine; twice a week also fine; three times a week, possibly getting tiresome but probably OK; four times a week, I'd maybe be annoyed if my neighbours were doing that; more often than that, I'd probably try to say or do something.

Ironically I suppose the annoyance becomes less outside of the peak/warmest summer months because people will tend to have all back doors and windows closed - so presumably your neighbours will mind less as time goes by?

[atbattersea]

There are some amazingly self-centred and inconsiderate people in the world, aren't there? Yes, you, OP!

If your neighbour was lighting fires and burning rubbish in their garden you'd not be very happy about it would you? What you are doing is exactly the same - you are causing polution and bad smells to enter someone else's home. The likelihood is that all of your neighbours are unhapy with your cooking practices, but fear saying anything.

To those that think the neighbour is outrageous for even mentioning it, get yourself a life. How can you say someone just needs to shut their windows, in the middle of Summer, how will they cool down!? Your neighbour sitting in the garden puffing canabis would be the same problem - would you just stand that too?

It isn’t a problem the neighbours are creating, it is a problem the barbecuers are creating, and the latter is the one that needs to deal with it. Not a purifier for the naighbours, but no smoke and odours from you.

This is a nuisance, plain and simple. If they want to go down that route they can go to court and get an injunction against you. Swallow your pride and try to understand someone else's point of view.