Has anyone had to tell their husband that they smell?! Post Reply

[pompom]

I really don't want to hurt my husband's feelings but since lockdown I have noticed that my husband's hygiene is seriously lacking. He seems to think it is okay to go for a run first thing in the morning three or four times a week and then works at home all day in his training gear. He has even come to bed without showering which I find repulsive.
I have made a couple of light hearted references about it but they have fallen on deaf ears. Has anyone else been in my situation? If so how did you go about addressing it?

[hawkes]

Sorry no, I’ve not had to tell your husband he smells, I don’t know him

[2009Kat]

Have to admit I can’t see the problem as I am working in my gym kit having worked out this morning and no shower... because I had to get to work quickly. Although I will def take a shower before bed!

[intheclouds5]

Seduce him into a shower! That is why you're married and not just friends, right?

[alhambra]

Maybe instead of saying he smells, you could say you’ve noticed a sweat smell in the room he works in... or say his sports gear doesn’t seem to be coming clean properly and smells ... and suggest he showers straight after his run as you think that may help?

[Scientist]

Writing as a man who enjoys and takes some form of vigorous exercise nearly every day, I really don't get this. Also I don't get why one would have to be reticent about telling him (referring to some of the responses on this forum), especially if he's your husband. 

I find that one of the many great pleasures of exercise is the fantastic feeling of showering afterwards and continuing my day/evening with a sense of 'completeness' - which includes being ready to meet & greet anyone from HM the Queen downwards, in complete confidence. Not something that I could do if knew that I smelled like a hiker's sock. But I would do it anyway, even if I had no company for the rest of the day, because it's all part of feeling good. 

They say that a true gentleman is someone who still uses a butter knife even when dining alone. I suspect that your husband may have revealed his true colours, now that he doesn't have to be in an office....am I right ?

Just tell him and lead by example. Or maybe you could run with him in the morning and shower together afterwards. There is no excuse for bad hygiene in the 21st century. 

[Rinkydink12]

Why can’t you just tell him? Of course he stinks after sitting in sweaty clothes all day.

The fact he doesn’t then shower even before bed is rank and enough to have him banished to the sofa for the night!

[Lovingsleep]

I’m not sure how long you’ve been married but if he smells just tell him. Eg ‘ you smell after having a run, please take a shower’ make a joke of it if it’s awkward. It’s not as if you’re telling him he always has an awful smell and there’s nothing he can do about it. Most people smell after exercise which is why most people take a shower. He can do it in his coffee break if necessary. Good exercise on being assertive, honest, genuine, it’s your house too! Good luck

[Invisiblewoman]

I agree with scientist. There is no excuse for bad hygiene in 21st century. But if you don’t want to tell him, just set your alarms a little earlier so that he definitely has time to shower after his run and before work. Or run him a bath for when he gets back.

And if he smells that bad he might just need to up his water intake after exercise as I find that the more water my husband drinks, the less he smells - and that probably goes for me too.

[Beachboys]

I fully sympathise - had the same problem with the shift to wfh.

I tried to be subtle at first - started off by saying I was going to put a load of laundry on, so did he want to change his clothes; when that didn't work, I opened the windows saying the room needed airing out.  

Finally, I told him he smelled and please could he shower every morning even if he wanted to sit around in his pants all day. He didn't take offense.

We have been together 20 years, though, and if the tables were turned, I would expect him to be forthright about it too.

Good luck!

[pompom]

Thanks everyone. Planning on addressing the issue head on after his next run. Don't know why I was being so timid about it. I guess I was overthinking and not wanting to upset him.

[ejacks71]

I can think of nothing worse, and when I exercise, the first thing I want to do is shower and put clean clothes on. It can't be good for his personal health, all that stale sweat, underarm BO etc.. I would be grossed out by him working in that state all day, let alone actually getting into bed with me. I would insist he shower when he gets back from his run, and puts his "work clothes on" .. I get that the lock down has put all of us under pressure, and into a different frame of mind, and perhaps we all feel a bit more slovenly.. (I had a very lazy day myself yesterday!!) But I live alone, and if I want that kind of day (which is rare), at least it's only me.

Not sure what he was like pre-lock down, but personally, we should all shower after every session of exercise, whether it be at the gym, or at home.. If you are living with someone and they smell, it can be a huge turn off, which could lead to some serious issues about your feelings for that person, and you lose respect for them, which is even worse!  He should have more pride.. The odd day you could probably let go, but every day... noooo.. gross!! lol

Please tell him..

Good luck!

J.

[SW11 Resident]

Can I turn this around and ask if anyone has had (or wanted to) to tell their wife that they smell?

[Starr]

I would tell him and like to think he would too!

[Annabel (admin)]

@Blenkarne
Thanks so much fo your post. Just a quick one to say that I am minded to split this post out to make another thread, I'll keep an eye and see how the replies go.

Thanks again for posting


Annabel x