What to do with eldest child when you have to give birth? Post Reply

[Lily]

Hello mums,

I'm due in October of our second child. We are rather new to the area and don't know lots of people yet. My husband works fulltime and I'm a stay at home mum. I'm starting to think about how to arrange things when I have to give birth to our baby. I only have one friend who I can call when the moment is there, but just imagine she's not answering the phone or not at home...

Do you have any experience? Do you think it would be possible to take my oldest to the hospital (can they take care of him when I'm in labour/giving birth)? I'm going to have the baby in St Georges.

Thanks for all the advice...
Lily x

[MrsAmanda]

Welcome to NVN.

I had a major panic about what to do with my son (was 20mths at the time) when I went into labour with our second child. And that's despite having my mum only an hour away, so completely understand where you're coming from.

I really don't think taking your son with you to St George's when you're in labour is going to be practical. You'll have enough to think about without worrying about him, too. St George's is rather under-staffed at the best of times so I doubt they'll have people they can assign to taking care of him whilst you give birth. There won't be anywhere for him to sleep, the labour ward is busy and noisy.

I'm sure your friend will be on standby no matter when you need to give her the call and will come running.

Can you talk to local babysitting agencies about a Plan B?

[Lily]

Hi Mrs Amanda,

Thank you for your reply. Do you know any local babysitting agencies that could arrange adhoc babysitters?

Kind regards,
L x

[SJ1979]

You could try Like Minders... Or do you perhaps have a relative that could come and stay at short notice? That is what quite a few friends have done.

http://www.likeminders.co.uk/

[Lily]

We don't have relatives that can come over (we're from Germany), they already offered to come over to help when the baby is born...

[supergirl]

Gosh i know the feeling... I remember like it was yesterday how stressfull it was to actually know what to do with your first when you d go to hosp to have the second one....
I was lucky because my little sis is in lonon and luckier because her boss said she could go anytime. But still it took 5 runs to hosp before it really happen (one week late). Looking back, i was so stressed because a midwife scared me by explaining to me how to have the baby in the kitchen because she said "with a second baby it can happen so fast" but also i felt guilty for my sister to come, leave work (it is her 4th job she is climbing up the career ladder) for no reaon, and guilty for my older as i didnt want in such chnging times for her to have anybody she wouldnt know... In the end and out of desperation, we called my husband mum and she came instantly and 2 days later our beautiful little princess was born...
All i will say is, if one of your family can come earlier and stay until the baby is born it would be better. Your mind will be at rest and you would be very relaxed... I know it is a big commitment from your family but so much better for you and your husband.
Good luck!

[sezwedz]

I remember being in the same position. Although i had friends I new would help there is nothing like having family close by. We eventually decided to paid for my mother in law to fly over from New Zealand for a couple of weeks. Was money well spent. Good luck I hope you find a good solution.

[clare74]

My sister has always used Abbeville Nannies. She recently had pneumonia (it was the start of the school hols and the day after I gave birth - not great timing!) and they provided a very nice nanny at short notice to help with her 2 boys.

Note that despite the name, they provide all levels of child care from babysitters to nannies. Their website is www.abbevillenannies.co.uk

[busyMouse]

We had the same problem when we had our daughter two years ago as we also hadn't been in London long and had no family here. I knew a few people who could >probably< take care of our daughter but no one who lived nearby and would definitely be available 24/7!
Luckily my mum was able to come and stay with us but again she could only stay for two weeks around the due date so there was no guarantee she'd actually be here when I went into labour. I was quite stressed out about it at the time and I did ring around several nanny agencies but again there was no way they could guarantee that someone would be available right when I needed them but they said to call them at the time and they'd see who was available.
In the end we just asked as many people as we could think of if they 'might' be available in the hope that just one of them actually would be, as well as talking to the nanny agencies. We also knew one of our neighbours a little at that point and he said in a pinch he would be able to look after our daughter, at least until someone else was able to get to our house to take her.
In the end we were lucky that I went into labour the day before I was due and my mum was there (it was even at a civilized 7am or so). I would second the other post that said a maternity ward really isn't the best place for a kid.
Good luck! And if you need the names of some more nanny agencies feel free to pm me.

[Macboo]

I completely understand your concerns as we only moved to the area a few months before my second was due. My family are in Scotland and my husband's in Australia and felt that I couldn't ask any of my local friends as they all had young kids themselves. Luckily I managed to find a wonderful babysitter who offered to be on call and I employed the services of a doula to be there if my husband had to be with my son.

In the end, my waters broke at 2am, babysitter arrived 30 mins later and I gave birth 2 hours later. It does work out in the end but it did cause me lots of worry beforehand.

[DinosMom]

Hire a doula (birth and for post natal). Have her get to know your older child now - trips to the park, play at home, etc. and she can stay with your child while you give birth and then come over and take care of you!! and the baby/sibling after birth. She can cook, do errands, and help with breastfeeding , if you pan to. I can recommend my post natal doula if you're interested.

Deborah

[kerrybee]

Hi,

Where exactly do you live?

From kerith