How long is normal to wait after a baby to become intimate

loveboden · Postby **loveboden** » Tue Dec 15, 2020 11:53 am

I’m hoping that someone can help answer a rather sensitive question. How long is normal after having a baby to not want to have sex?

After my first it took me a long time to want to become intimate again with my husband which caused some serious issues for us as he is very needy in that way. My second is due in Feb and I am worried that it I am going to feel the same. Just not sure if its normal to feel this way?

bauble · Postby **bauble** » Wed Dec 16, 2020 9:17 am

Giving birth can be a traumatic experience for many, both physically and emotionally and I think it takes as long as it takes unless the months get into double figures then perhaps there is something else going on.

Good luck with your new baby.

muddyboots · Postby **muddyboots** » Wed Dec 16, 2020 1:02 pm

The answer is that beyond the recommended minimal
time for healing it’s whatever feels right for YOU and nobody else.
What’s right for you is what’s normal for you. Frankly your needy husband should not be putting you under pressure. Even if he doesn’t do it consciously he’s obviously affected you enough to worry about it and write on here.
Enjoy your pregnancy and don’t worry about this. Good luck with your second baby.
Tell him how you feel and he need to support you and deal with it ..... honestly...

muddyboots · Postby **muddyboots** » Wed Dec 16, 2020 1:06 pm

It’s extremely intense to have a baby emotionally and physically. It’s totally normal not to feel like you have any more of you to give.
If you are breastfeeding it’s especially physical so the thought of more needs needed of you can be too much.
There is absolutely nothing wrong and beru normal to feel this way.
Some women feel totally opposite, it totally depends.
Don’t feel that you need to justify how you feel if you feel like this.
Good luck !

Rsatterthwaite · Postby **Rsatterthwaite** » Mon Mar 15, 2021 10:36 am

It took me 6 months or so

schoolsearching · Postby **schoolsearching** » Tue Mar 16, 2021 8:29 am

With my first, we tried after 6 weeks and it was way to early. I mean, awkward! After my second and third, at about 12 weeks things started to feel ok and by 6 months things were definitely at 100%. I would say my pelvic floor trainer helped. I saw a French physio (all post pardem mums get pelvic floor physio in France) and got the ELVIE trainer. I depends on so many things though not the least the amount of sleep you are getting. My children were sleeping through at 3-4 months and so this helped a lot.