Hello Belinda 15/158
Full disclosure -it's Elaine here from The Parent Practice and firstly apologies for being late to this post, but I really wanted to reach out to you, as it’s such a thorny topic - girls and friendships and what I can say is you are so not alone. This is more common than you realise and the harsh reality is it will happen again, not being invited to the sleepover or the gathering. Sadly Queen Bees, who often garner their popularity through being powerful, are in every school across the land.You don’t say in your original post how your daughter feels, but I am assuming she is upset and you of course just want to protect her. It’s a horrible feeling of helplessness when not being invited to a party is often one of the first signs they we can’t control the world for our growing children. It’s easy to resort to thinking “shall I call that horrible girl’s mother and just let her know how upsetting it is for my daughter to have been excluded from the birthday party” but I don’t recommend that, as it will often be met with defensiveness and rational explanations, that won’t make it feel any better. And no one wants to be an after thought.
I think a more nuanced approach is needed, which empowers your daughter to deal with this and the best thing you can do is listen and validate to how she feels without judgement - wait –don’t jump in with advice or direction. Once she feels heard, she’ll be able to problem solve and it sounds as if you have found the most perfect solution! A sleep over party, with friends who respect and like her. Have fun!
Menu
