how long do we put up with the classroom disruption before we say something? Post Reply

[Ex-Valley-Doll]

Yes, that was me, and yes, I can relate to the previous poster’s feeling of bring totally shamed, rejected, and judged. That’s why — as she brilliantly put it — the issue deserves serious discussion, not cheap point-scoring. There is a special play area on Wandsworth Common for kids with disabilities and it had — and presumably still has — been designed with their particular needs in mind. It is not a demeaning alternative, it is in fact a fully equipped space. And the reason I suggested it, is that I was worried for my son’s physical safety. That’s it. His father demonstrated no inclination to understand why it’s no ok to go around hurting other children. If that’s the attitude of the parents, then, yes, I’m sorry, I think it’s best to use a separate space. If you can’t teach a kid not to hit people. And, yes, it still bothers me that somehow — in this scenario — even though years have passed — I’m still the villain. The mob mentality is not helpful. The incident was distressing, unprompted, and unwarranted. And I was asking for help — how do you cope with the challenges that the issue guaranteed to pose, if it isn’t addressed? Addressing it doesn’t mean separating kids, if the adults play the role of setting boundaries. If not, it’s not going to work. That’s what I’m saying. It’s not realistic to pretend it’s effortless. So what is the right approach? It’s an issue that deserves discussion.

[nvtennisfan]

As a general comment it can be really unhelpful to start complaining to a school (private or state) about something which is nothing to do with you or your child. The school will almost certainly be working with the child and parents if disruption or safety are a serious issue and they would be unable, for confidentiality reasons, to discuss what measures they are taking with a third party. If you are happy with the school and leadership team generally then it would be better to trust them as professionals and not try to pile on pressure to a situation which they are likely managing.
I also think it unrealistic to try and create a perfect environment for our kids. In year 5 they are only a few years away from taking public transport across London when they will come across plenty of people suffering from mental health and other issues. My son has had a boy in his class since year 7 on the autistic spectrum whom he initially found “annoying” and disruptive however the school have done a great job of talking to the kids about neuro diversity and the importance of supporting others who find some environments and situations more challenging and they are now all very supportive to this boy and understanding of his issues. School should prepare them to interact with a range of people and thrive in environments that are not necessarily perfect which becomes even more important in the teenage years. (Ps -I would also recommend the book referred to above which is a very insightful read on this topic).