Husband and mother commenting my 2 year old is too fat Post Reply

[Pomegranate]

My husband has commented more than once now that he thinks our daughter is fat and then at the weekend my mother echoed this and added she had read that milk before bed can make a child obese?

My daughter is just 2, still has creases on her arms which I think is OK? She eats reasonably well,  sugar only as a treat,  drinks water, a bottle of whole milk before bed and her main meals are home made. Snacks are mainly fruit.

I am becoming paranoid that I am setting her up for a lifetime of weight issues, any advice/guidance would be very much appreciated. I woulds mostly like to know if I should stop her warm bedtime milk?  And when should children loose their "puppy fat"so that I can stop obsessing.

[deckchair]

I'd say that she sounds as expected for a toddler of her age. As long as the sugar treats aren't daily 
then I think stick to your guns. As toddlers become more active they burn off their chubbiness. Don't worry about it. 

[SW11er]

Sounds like your Husband and Mother are more likely to set them up for a lifetime of weight issues - by making such comments!!

[dudette]

My son was born skinny, then became a great fat baby with big chubby cheeks. He was still fat as a two year old. He soon lost it and is now a skinny teenager without an ounce of fat on him despite eating like a horse. It sounds like you’re giving your daughter a healthy diet so I should ignore the comments.

[Hellomynameis]

Hello,
While your relatives may not be approaching the subject in a caring/sensitive manner, child weight is important to check to ensure that “everything is well”.
You can use the red book (or the NHS online graphs) to check your child weight and height vs normalised measures, and see ratio weight/height. It should reassure you and your relatives that your daughter is within normal ranges.
You could also ask advices from your GP/health visitor regarding diet and in particular milk at bed time.
If you are concerned about the heath of your child, it is always best to ask a medical professional. Take care and all the best.

[Starr]

Wow! She is 2 and it is impossible for a small child to be obese, unless she is fed nothing but junk which I very much doubt and all you've listed sounds great.
My daughter was a great eater and sleeper and so "chubby" up to and around this age but became very lean as the years went by as she grew. She still eats a good amount although I would like her to eat more at times as she plays a lot of sport.
Ignore your husband and mum, they do not know what they are talking about. The fat is there to help her grow.

[Vicki W]

I would check her weight is within normal guidelines for her size/age and if it is, I would sit your husband and mum down to have a talk with them about patrolling females weight and how this can lead to huge self esteem issues in women and girls. Tell them to focus on her intelligence, sense of humour, courage and other such characteristics as sources of pride rather than her weight, particularly at such a young age. 

[Starr]

The poster already said her 2 year old's diet is good and from what she says it isn't unhealthy at all.
One of my nct friends, very tall woman and her 2 year old, had rolls on her arms at this age. She also had a health visitor suggest her daughter was obese and she was rightfully outraged as she was feeding her good home cooked food, not pureed macdonalds. Her daughter was a good healthy eater and her fat came away with age and she is a tall athletic child.
It is completely ridiculous to suggest a 2 year old is obese when they are eating healthy food. People come in all different body shapes and at 2 it is not determined, whatsoever. If she grows to be a heavier build that should be embraced. No wonder so many girls and women have body issues.

[AvaPie]

Suggest read the official guidance on the NHS website that covers children’s weight.

If you’re still concerned about the child’s weight then suggest you liaise with your health visitor or GP in the first instance.

[Starr]

I think the NHS guidelines would only apply if you were feeding your child badly. I would refer to it at age 4 or so. I suspect your toddler will shoot up in height and lose the puppy fat. That is what happened to my daughter. As for the milk, she will probably wean off it herself as mine did. Yes that did coincide with losing the chubbiness. My son never took to cow's milk and was always lean so perhaps it is that. Both children are naturally lean as is down to their dna but eat a lot and do have a sugary treat every day. People have different body shapes and can be perfectly healthy even if they tend to store fat. I really don't think you should worry given that you've stated her healthy diet. Ignore the comments!

[Me please]

Your mother in law and husband love your daughter so I think their comments are coming from s place of concern though poorly executed. Do check to nhs guidelines- whilst healthy fruit does have lots of sugar - I made a few small changes to my daughter’s diet at this age by swapping fruit snacks for carrot sticks and cucumber circles or some nuts, cheese etc - it didn’t cause her any distress, she wasn’t left hungry and the rings went.

[NoodleFan]

God as if mums don’t have enough to feel guilty about
Good advice above - check her weight percentile if it makes you feel better but from what you’ve said you are doing nothing wrong. If you’re worried about the milk start adding in some semi skimmed - if you do this gradually she won’t notice.
But… as a mum of teens and seeing how rife anorexia is, PLEASE speak to your husband and mum about the damage talk like this could do once you’re daughter is able to understand it.
Best of luck, and give yourself a break, you sound like you’re doing a fab job x

[crackers]

Completely agree with you Starr! I would be wary of the NHS guidelines on weight/obesity in children as there are so many other background factors to take into account such as genetic inheritance, bone density etc - at best their charts are a general guide only and should be used cautiously, sadly they are not detailed or sophisticated enough and not always used responsibly by Health Visitors / in- school monitoring of primary age children. I say this from personal experience as my son was flagged as obese when measured in primary school which was ridiculous as he was very tall from birth and came from a paternal family background of very tall, lean males who were all chubby as youngsters. Sure enough, he is now at senior school, 6’3, lean and still growing .. unsurprisingly, he followed genetic inheritance! Like your friend, I felt annoyed and concerned by the letter I received when he was at primary school especially given the prevalence of body image / eating disorders. If I hadn’t felt confident, it could have precipitated me into feeling anxious which I could have passed on to him. It’s time a more sophisticated and detailed model for monitoring is used - a little like the realisation of the limits of BMI (think how a professional rugby player would score!) as it doesn’t take into account someone’s build or distribution of muscle/body fat etc. I’ve always been amazed at how some of my friends of similar height weighed so much less than me yet we looked similarly slim; at times when I’ve weighed less than 9 st I look horribly underweight. We’re all different!

[Nonappies]

The centile charts take height and weight and normal variations of the population into consideration.

If you see that her weight is *trending upwards in the centiles ie going higher than 90th centile and might leave the chart (you can weigh child yourself and put dot on graph btw) this will help you know .

The comments of your relatives are just a cosmetic impression .
Very much doubt milk at bedtime is any issue thats not helpful advice at all for a 2y old.

Other than that you can easily just check average weight for your childs age and if its within normal i would reassure rellies.