OOO that rings painfully true to me - 21 years after my first baby. My husband also made sideways comments to me about my weight post birth, and what I ate. It was so painful, and hurt so much. We weren't long married and hadn't cracked each other's communication styles, so I was simply at a loss about what to say.
Like another mother mentioned here, I discovered that, contrary to all the stuff about losing weight when you breastfeed, I absolutely, definitely became chubbier, and on an evolutionary basis, holding weight when another human is/was feeding from you makes a whole heap of sense. This is a natural life stage, and it will change over time.
All I can now is that my husband is mortified that he treated me that way back then, and if the topic ever turns up he goes bright red. He can't believe he did that (and it DID go on for a long time!). He is genuinely so embarrassed about his behaviour. Our youngest child who is 13, realised what the topic was about one day last year, and he went mad at his dad. He ran at him and beat his fists on his chest!! He even cried when his rage subsided - he was so disgusted with his (normally adored) father. Oh boy, that hit home with my husband.
What I wish now is that I had taken more time for myself, and handed the baby over as so many others have suggested. I wish I hadn't assumed that being at home with the baby more hours than he was (I worked part time after our daughter was born) meant that I really should do all the cooking. In retrospect my brain was fried, and his brain was less fried - so it would have been really reasonable to say to him "I'm in charge of feeding and weaning the third human in this house (which i was!) - you can be in charge of both of us!"
The really funny thing now is that my very lean slender husband is discovering in his mid 50s that his body shape is changing and he's getting a bit of a belly!! I get so much fun out of the "Isn't it amazing what can happen to your body in different life stages?!?! Maybe less real ale darling??"
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