Did you mind if you didn't receive a gift for giving birth? Post Reply

[Emerald Cut]

Slightly uncomfortable about writing this but did you receive an eternity or a gift for giving birth?

I didn't, to be honest I am not sure that husband would even know that they are a thing, but I am finding that I am very bothered when I see sparkly gifts being worn by my friends and NCT group for "giving birth"

Am I being very shallow or do others feel the same?

[Brokebird]

Maybe you and your husband could give each other a term’s school fees instead.

[Lepresidente]

The response from Brokebird is rude / ridiculous. Clearly a joke response . #Ignore : # jealousy

Bought my wife a “push present “ 1st time round a diamond and sapphire ring , and best decision we made . Had it personalised and hand made by a guy in Hatton garden ( not massively expensive as uncertified diamonds ). She loves it and it represents our 1st born. 2nd time round , still haven’t bought one but will soon.

[Brokebird]

Not jealous at all, just very happy to have had healthy babies and lucky to have suffered minimal damage in the process. I am bemused by the recent trend for expectation of ostentatious gifts - expensive wedding presents, baby shower lists, jewellery on arrival of a baby, etc. It all feels a bit Victorian/Kardashian, but that’s just my view. Each to his own.

But yes, while I was not being entirely serious, there is a very active thread on this site on spiralling school fees, the next big commitment (or not) following a birth. My comment was a reference to that huge expense which may be looming on the horizon for Emerald Cut, and which for many precludes spending on things like holidays and jewellery. Perhaps her husband has maxed out the baby’s ISA instead? Now that would be caring and generous.

[ASD2023]

Nope. Husband would have had no idea and frankly we have better things to spend money on.

Didn't mean he wasn't super proud and grateful though. He was very hands on, supportive and helpful. Far more valuable than a piece of jewellery.

[Ramaboo]

Not really meaning to be rude - but if all of your friends are well enough off to have received jewellery for giving birth I suggest you make some additional new friends to balance out your child's social circle so they can learn a bit of perspective as they grow up.

I know that geographically we live in an affluent and fortunate area, but can we try to have a little awareness. Not marking occasions with jewellery does not devalue them.

[motherof1babyboy]

I had never been aware this becoming a ‘tradition’ . I was happy to have given birth to a healthy baby boy which was gift enough for me. My grandfather gave my grandmother an eternity ring on their 50th wedding anniversary. Whilst welcome gifts and would love a ring sooner than this I simply wasn’t expecting a gift for giving birth.

[supergirl]

I am finding your post very unconfortable, and you said it yourself on your first line of your post.

I have lived in this area of Battersea for 15 yrs before we moved away so I know how hard it can be to keep your judgment whilst surrounded by so much money - or so it appears as you never know what is really happening behind closed doors.
But, to think that a push gift (hate that word) is a “thing” or to even expect one is really materialistic and quite crass in my opinion.

There are so many things happening in the world as we speak, so many uncertainties in the future that frankly your money would be better spend somewhere else: upgrade your windows so you heat your house more efficiently for less for one or invest in your child ISA are only a couple of examples where your money can be better spend.

You want something shiny on your finger? To show off that you belong or do you want to incest in your family future? Do you need “things” or do you prefer experiences?

I know which one I am, but do you know which one you are? Dont kid yourself, the former is only giving instant gratification nothing else.

[supergirl]

To invest in your family future. Excuse the typo.

[dudette]

I didn’t get one although a lot of my NCT did. I mentioned it in passing to my husband and he said the gift was the baby. He’s since bought me quite extravagant jewellery for various big birthdays. Last time he suggested it I said no. I struggle to find occasions to wear what I’ve got.

Going through life feeling jealous about what others have is a recipe for unhappiness. Don’t compare yourself with others. Just be thankful for what you have.

[catboo1]

Love what everyone has shared on here (except Lepresident). I was so happy to have had a healthy baby, having gone through two weeks of him in the special unit following emergency c section.. the best gift was being able to take him home. Where have these absurd expectations come from? Other women showing off their stuff and comparing. I agree with other poster, perhaps hang out with other friends for a more balanced view? We really are living in crazy times when having a baby means husband needs to buy sparkly rewards. Be grateful for all you have.

[betterannabel]

DH joined the waiting list for a Birkin when we started trying. Children are a wonderful gift but bags last forever.

[JustaThought]

Firstly, congratulations! When I gave birth I had a very difficult experience and was so grateful for the medical intervention we needed to deliver our baby safely. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly wanted my husband to be aware of just what it cost my body and what it took from me to create our family! I don’t think he’ll forget the experience and he respects my strength. But mostly I found myself thinking of the women who don’t have access to the same support we have in one of the most fortunate parts of the world (whatever personal and societal difficulties we face). If you feel similarly perhaps a small donation to the White Ribbon Alliance or another womens health charity would feel like a meaningful way to mark your family’s gratitude for your child’s birth?

[Torcat]

Hi, I don't know how many of my NCT friends received presents for giving birth, an eternity ring is a lovely idea but doesn't necessarily have to come after giving birth, if at all. The only person I know who demanded a vulgar 'push present', ended up having an affair whilst pregnant with her second child! I don't know when all this over the top gifting came about, baby showers, baby naming ceremonies, push presents, but if these things matter to you then I do think that is superficial and if your friends are showing off about these things then maybe you need different friends. Appearances can be deceiving, how many of those rings will have been paid for by a credit card? Who knows? It is all quite gross, given how many people are really struggling at the moment. Your healthy baby and a good partner are the greatest gifts.

[Torcat]

'Baby gender reveal ceremonies', I meant, not baby naming ceremonies.