Friend copying my house design room by room. Post Reply

[angry bird]

We did a full house renovation just over 2 years ago and have spent the last 24 months furnishing and finishing the various rooms.

My issue is that a very close friend who by her own admission is 'rubbish at house stuff' seems to be copying my every move. She has recently installed an identical kitchen , she did ask if she could use the the same brand but I didn't expect an almost identical layout WITH the same table and chairs. Last weekend I discovered that one of her children's bedrooms is a copy and paste of of one of mine.

I am finding it quite annoying and a bit rude. I spent hours of my life looking through interiors websites going to shows etc. and now there is duplicate emerging 5 mins away. 

Obviously they can't undo what they have done but how do I tell her to stop without falling out?

[chorister]

Why not be flattered that she admires your choices so much?

[muddyboots]

I feel for you! It’s not flattering, it’s infuriating.

This happened to me, but to a lesser extent.
It pissed me off and in the end I’d say I couldn’t remember the make or that I’d text the answer later etc and just not do it.

Doing interior design is not only time consuming but also very personal.
If you spend hours choosing a wall paper and designs only for a lazy friend to ask for the details.
I especially lost my patience when asked for the wallpaper designer and design after spending so long to find just the right one …

Totally understand and just say it how it is as your friend seems to have taken it to another level!

[Flambeau]

Hi,

I feel for you! Your feelings are valid. It’s not flattering.

One or two things copied here and there you could maybe see as flattering but a carbon copy of your house, child’s rooms, style etc is very annoying.

Your choices are a reflection of you, your creativity, style and the time and effort you’ve put into creating a home.

It’s not nice that she’s doing this, particularly when she can go to any showroom and “copy & paste” all the items on display, if she’s a bit rubbish with these things.


Has anyone else in your friendship group noticed?

Only you know what your friend’s reaction would be to a “stop copying me” approach!



As advised above, I would also feign forgetfulness and say I couldn’t remember where I got this and that from.

Stop volunteering/ mentioning where you found or sourced items from. Or what you are going to do next.
Which will be frustrating for you because after all of the time and effort you’ve put into your home you want to be house proud!

[SW18_Dad]

Firstly, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Really.

Secondly is your friend autistic? There is something in the circular thinking that makes me suspect that. Does she obsess, imitate or copy in other areas?

Thirdly if I lost my rag every time my competitors copied my designs, web text etc I’d have gone totally mad by now.

I’d just have an internal smile at how you put it together better than her!

[Kirstie’s Mom]

From why I’ve seen from the houses South of the River , they all look the same inside- there isn’t much design savy . If she doesn’t live next door and you don’t see it often forget about it but let me guess: all white kitchens, sitting bar in the middle , taupe sitting rooms big screen tvs over the fireplace and bathrooms with coffee shop tiles .

[BuryBerry]

Have you watched Single White Female?

[happy clappy]

hi

I would advise to avoid this next time refrain from talking about it in detail to your friend, so she doesn't know so much of the intricacies.
It's no biggie imo often house interiors look like clones lol
I wouldn't assume you and your friend's taste is in any way relevant to the whole neighbourhood, obviously your friend likes it so take this as flattering :)

[JamTart]

From why I’ve seen from the houses South of the River , they all look the same inside- there isn’t much design savy . If she doesn’t live next door and you don’t see it often forget about it but let me guess: all white kitchens, sitting bar in the middle , taupe sitting rooms big screen tvs over the fireplace and bathrooms with coffee shop tiles .

This will be the blueprint for set designers of future TV shows set in the 2010s-2020s - like orange graphic wallpaper for the 1970s and fax machines for the 1980s. And the shows will be peopled by slightly overweight men in slightly too tight cashmere jumpers and pointy brown shoes.

[this_is_cat]

I think we can blame media and social media for a bit of this…
Instagram is full of accounts showcasing interiors, with full lists of where everything came from specifically to ‘recreate the look’

Pinterest exists solely to show us pictures of other peoples lives to copy for our own

There are tens of magazines dedicated to glossy spreads of people’s recent renovations

And it sounds like you may have used some of these sources for your own renovation, so are definitely part of the culture that thinks other peoples work is there to be a creative inspiration for our own lives.

So for that reason alone, I wouldn’t take it personally or be offended. It’s really just a reflection of how many people approach decorating- they look around for rooms they like, be that magazines, online or real life, and then recreate it

[happy enough]

Agree that a house should be a home not a clone, practical layout but also reflect the habits of the occupiers - books, objets d'art from travels ;)
The design of the room is only the basic blank canvas.

But no beige, or pictures to match the colour scheme of the room.
Everyone's taste is different, so its a toss up whether John Lewis 'boring boring' lampshades style of Teresa May was less appealing than Carrie Johnson's ostentatiously opulent Downing Street interior ( I didn't like that at all for a flat ), - looked like a Turkish coffee shop and it cost a bit lol. I need to be able to think.
Maybe the bottom line is not to take ones personal interior decorating style too seriously ;)

[Red5]

Take it as a compliment...I mean it's a little creepy if it's like for like in every room, like you say if she's really rubbish and has no imagination then it makes sense, the autism angle is interesting, my youngest is on the spectrum and imagination in play is hard. This is just adult play with lots of money....Perhaps you should guide her to Pinterest or Houzz.

[TootsNewMum]

If this is a very close friend, could you not just overlook it, forgive her and focus on the friendship?

[Claphamkitten]

Haha. I was going to say the same thing JamTart - Kirsty's Mum seems to be trapped in early 2010s 😂. Don't think anyone does white kitchens anymore! Dark colours seem to be the trend but yes, I remember when we looked around for our house in in early 2010s, we saw hundreds of white kitchens looking pretty much the same!

A similar thing happened to me - not to the same extent but our next door neighbour copied our splashback, worktop, went with the same kitchen company and included the same feature setc... Slightly annoying but chose to take it as a compliment... I have my kitchen exactly how I want it and am very proud of it as I chose everything myself

[Claphamkitten]

Haha. I was going to say the same thing JamTart - Kirsty's Mum seems to be trapped in early 2010s 😂. Don't think anyone does white kitchens anymore! Dark colours seem to be the trend but yes, I remember when we looked around for our house in in early 2010s, we saw hundreds of white kitchens looking pretty much the same!

A similar thing happened to me - not to the same extent but our next door neighbour copied our splashback, worktop, went with the same kitchen company and included the same feature setc... Slightly annoying but chose to take it as a compliment... I have my kitchen exactly how I want it and am very proud of it as I chose everything myself