Would you pay for primary or secondary education if you can't do both Post Reply

[dazed and confused]

Feeling rather rabbit in the headlights. Like everyone we would like to do the best for our children but paying for 2 children all the way from 4 until 18 isn't within our gift. I would love to know what others feel is the better way round to do it, especially if you have experience of choosing one over the other. Thanks so much.

[Goldhawk]

Secondary or neither and save the money for uni fees / house deposit

[Redskyatnight]

Definitely secondary. We’re lucky to have lots of excellent state primaries in this area, it’s hard to see the value add. You might also realise that private secondary is not even necessary - and save even more money!!

One important aspect I had never thought of until it applied to me is the difference between treatment of SEN in state and private schools. It is in a state school’s interest to try and help with an EHCP in order to get more funding to assist with the special educational needs. Anecdotally from friends at private/prep schools, they have been discouraged from applying for an EHCP or even highlighting the issue / getting a diagnosis because it might affect private secondaries’ willingness to take on the child (and in turn affect pupil destination stats for the prep school). I should add that this is anecdotal and perhaps others have more positive experiences with private schools. But worth bearing in mind in case it ever becomes relevant.

[SWS11]

It depends on the child. I know parents with shy, introvert kids who chose small private with lot of art and music. The kids turned out to be confident, able to act on stage and went to the top stream of graveney or grammar schools. Many parents choose state as primary, lot of tutoring, kids are naturally extrovert, secure of themselves, went to private secondary and thrived there. If status and connections are important, than secondary private is probably better as this is when friendships are formed and also a lot of the posh mannerism is acquired.
It also depend on the type of state and private you can choose from. So I would go and visit state in your catchment, all the privates and then make a choice.

[QED2]

Neither! You’re no longer doing your best by your kids by deliberately segregating them from 93% of the population (as any university or grad scheme recruiter will tell you). Those of us who went through that system 30 years have just about got away with it, but no longer.

A property in London - or even just a nice house with lots of books and holidays and days out - is a far better (and far better hidden) way to acquire privilege.

[2009Kat]

Agree with QED2.

A large part is removing yourself from groups of parents who are wealthy and all the talk is about private schools. I have friends who think I am bananas for sending my kids to state schools because “no one round here does that” (other area of London and of course people do, just not that social set). I want my children to grow up with an understanding of their privilege and to experience
other children from all walks of life not just those with money.

[NVNV]

     

[Tincy]

NVNV - look up contextual applications/contextualised recruitment. There are ways at looking at applications holistically to ascertains skills and talents in context. So the child who has been to an expensive school with all the bells and whistles won’t necessarily get the spot because they have better grades than a child not from an affluent background who couldn’t get those grades due to their context even though they are just as bright.

Also look up the concept of “state-washing” for sixth form. 😳

[NVNV]

     

[NVNV]

      

[FatTony1960]

NVNV - look up contextual applications/contextualised recruitment. There are ways at looking at applications holistically to ascertains skills and talents in context. So the child who has been to an expensive school with all the bells and whistles won’t necessarily get the spot because they have better grades than a child not from an affluent background who couldn’t get those grades due to their context even though they are just as bright.

Also look up the concept of “state-washing” for sixth form.

Tincy- Contextual offers are very much a thing nowadays, especially at the popular Russell group universities. However, their policies vary widely. I know of a few instances where they were a function of the quality of your state secondary, or your postcode (to measure relative affluence) or whether your parents were graduates or not.

[betweencommonsgirl]

2009Kat wrote:
> Agree with QED2.
>
> A large part is removing yourself from groups of parents who are wealthy
> and all the talk is about private schools. I have friends who think I am
> bananas for sending my kids to state schools because “no one round here
> does that” (other area of London and of course people do, just not that
> social set). I want my children to grow up with an understanding of their
> privilege and to experience
> other children from all walks of life not just those with money.

It's a huge assumption that all those that go to private school all come from wealthy privileged backgrounds. I know many that send their kids private and do not, instead both parents working, one of them in three jobs, making sacrifices to put their kids through private rather than state. It's down to personal choice.

[Ex Clapham resident]

If you decide on Independent, great schools to look at are those that provide a large proportion of bursaries, such as Latymer Upper and Dulwich. There are the benefits of great, academic schools but with a wide range of social backgrounds.

[The_Brainery]

Have you considered the benefits of a supplemented state education?  

Before setting up my own tuition company, The Brainery, I worked at a private day school.  Whilst the quality of teaching is great, it's worth mentioning that can also be the case at good/outstanding state schools.  The days of independent schools having much smaller class sizes than the state schools are also behind us, particularly if the school is oversubscribed. There are many additional hidden costs associated with private schooling, e.g. additional music lessons, after school clubs or support if there are learning needs. 

With this in mind, I've started a Saturday morning club in Balham - Boost.  The small group sessions run for an hour and are delivered by highly trained teachers. The sessions have been set up to give the children the experience they should have in a small classroom at a private school. At present, they are mostly being used by private school children in large classes who are now benefitting from hands-on learning tailored to them in a small group setting. If you want any more information on this or if I can help with anything else, pop me an email at naomi@thebrainery.co.uk.