Asked to keep children in hotel room for duration of weeding Post Reply

[Red5]

Well spotted Chorister my thoughts exactly.
What a total bore though not wanting kids there, surely this just adds to the fun and the hilarious/cute/ awwww moments. I find it utterly bizarre, this is such weird attitude to kids, would never happen in other cultures and certainly many in this country too. Children play an integral part of families and communities, very sad. Should never be shut away!!

[Stickystick]

Likewise, the mother of a baby that young needs the father close in every sense—physically, psychologically, and emotionally.

Oh for heavens sake - this really is overdoing it. How do you think single parents manage? Or parents who work?

There are lots of good options here which don’t involve ridiculous handwringing about sacred bonds.

1) Best man attends, his family stays at home
2) Best man attends but plays best man card and demands an exception for his family
3) Best man and partner agree to bride’s wishes but discreetly ignores them eg Nanny and children go to the pool while the wedding ceremony is happening, in which case nobody will be around to see them anyway.
4) Best man attends whole thing but family only go for one night, in which case opportunities for roaming around will be limited anyway (could be combined with option 3 as well).

[Benice]

Agree.
Nanny was agreed, but swim session was not the idea bride had and shattered her image of her day :)

I would forget that and go swimming another day.
Or wait til the couple have left for honeymoon.
Play it by ear, it depends on the location of everything inside the hotel too.
Yes if it doesnt work just spend one night. They aren't 'locked in'.

[Feathers]

I am with many others here. I think that it is ridiculous to expect your children to be kept inside for the duration. Other non wedding families won't be doing what she is asking so I don't think it is a fair request at all.

[VitMac]

Oh for heavens sake - this really is overdoing it. How do you think single parents manage? Or parents who work?

There are lots of good options here which don’t involve ridiculous handwringing about sacred bonds.

This isn’t about putting food on the table, mate. It's about leaving the kids locked in a room all weekend while you're off partying. A two-month-old baby is very young and demands a lot from the mother. The baby literally depends on her for feeding. So, yeah, to me, it's a sacred bond, even if you think it's ridiculous. In my humble opinion, the least a man should do is to be there to help with everything else.

I’m not here to tell anyone what to do. I’m just sharing my opinion, which I think the OP wanted to hear from people. I'd rather not go at all than ignore the bride’s request and bring the kids to the hotel and pool, as one of your suggestions.

[VitMac]

A man spends the entire weekend at a party, leaving his partner, who recently gave birth and is still readjusting her hormone levels, to care for a newborn who needs six diaper changes a day, cries constantly, and wakes up multiple times during the night. Alongside the baby, she also has to look after an energetic preschooler, who until recently had exclusive attention and is likely struggling with the arrival of a new sibling.

Of course, this is not necessarilly this specific situation, but as a father of two kids not that different in age, I've been there and I'd risk to say this scenario might be more common than not. My wife would be furious with me when I returned, and she’d be completely justified. Beyond any sense of "sacred duty," it simply takes empathy and a bit of common sense to rule out the choice of mommy staying behind, in my humble opinion.

[sconesplease]

Well said @VitMac, couldn't agree with you more 

My children are not babies anymore, but I have not and will not forgot how hard it was, @Stickysitck is in la la land and has obviously forgotten or has no idea if they think there is a straight forward easy solution.  I would never leave a young baby with someone else at night, they can fall ill so quickly, unless a close family member e.g my Mum was available to stay with me for the night, and in this case it sounds as though the parents are attending the wedding.

 

[sconesplease]

Just to add, my husband just reminded me that he missed one of his best mate's wedding as we had an unwell newborn who had spent time in hospital and I reminded him that it didn't really matter as they ended up getting a divorce!!

[shiningflower]

I totally get where you're coming from! Kids bring so much joy and energy to any gathering. When I visited broadbeach accommodation recently, it was heartwarming to see families enjoying themselves together.

Everyone deserves to experience those adorable and funny moments kids create—it's part of what makes life so rich. It's sad when places exclude them. Hopefully, attitudes will shift because kids definitely add to the fun and community spirit.