Is a near 30 year age gap too big in a relationship? Post Reply

[oneofthree]

This is a slightly strange question, but can anyone tell me the biggest age gap they have seen working in a relationship?

I am asking because a close friend who hasn’t been lucky in love, she has managed to pick a series of 'wrong uns' as my mother would say, is now is now the early stages of a new relationship with someone more than twenty five years her age. I really want her to be happy, but I am not sure the gap isn’t too big. She is early 30's, and he is in his late 50’s.

I'm just not sure if she isn't getting desperate and jumped into this relationship without really thinking it through. Can a near 30 year gap work. Would love to hear some positive stories to put my mind at rest!

[sconesplease]

I had a boyfriend when I was 22 who was 12 years older, we broke up because we were at different stages, I can see later on it may not have been so much of an issue but I'm glad my husband and I are within 5 years of each other. Looking at my close friends parents who have an age gap of 10 years plus, it is harder when one is 70 and the other is 80 especially when the older one has health issues which is often the case.

We have good friends who married when she was 32 and he was 51, he's very into health and fitness and looking at them you wouldn't think there was such a big gap, 14 years on and they are still together, they weren't able to have children though which was very hard for her - he had a child from am previous marriage. I don't think large age gaps are ideal, 25 years is a big gap but if she's happy that is all that matters.

Anyway, I'm interested to know, does this man usually date much younger woman? have you met him? what is he like? Does your friend want children? I can't Imagine having a baby to someone in their 50's, I know plenty do especially in London but....
Maybe it's not just his age you are concerned about?

Can't read to read the comments on this one!!!

 

[muddyboots]

I’d say yes , it’s too big .
Him being in his 50s he’s just about holding onto youth being blunt.

When she’s his age , she would be with a very old man !

[Mac]

well, my ex (53) and his young gf (31 maybe?) he picked up at work seem to be doing just fine!

[Mikeydon]

Dating someone more than 25 years older is such a unique experience! Just imagine all the wisdom and life lessons you'll get to hear about from before the internet even existed. Forget modern date nights; you’ll be treated to thrilling discussions about 1970s sitcoms and the golden age of vinyl records. Who needs clubbing or concerts when you can stay in and explain how to use a smartphone for the hundredth time?

And the social scene! Hanging out with his friends means you'll get to hear riveting stories from the Vietnam era and deep discussions about the Cold War. Your new hobbies will include collecting stamps and watching reruns of "Matlock," which is just so much more exciting than hiking or adventure sports.

Planning for the future is a real adventure, too. Instead of focusing on career goals or travel dreams, you'll be scheduling around doctor’s appointments and discussing the benefits of fiber supplements. Dinner conversations will revolve around blood pressure and cholesterol levels, which is far more engaging than talking about new movies or recent events.
Tell your friend she is riding for a fall!

[NPG]

My Dad was twenty years older than my mum. They got married when she was 29 and he was 49. They were very happily married until my dad died when he was 82. My Dad looked very young for his age - none of my friends knew my Dad was so much older than their fathers. They used to say that if you love someone it doesn’t matter how old they are.

I would really keep out of this. It’s none of your business and if you say anything you could risk losing a friend.

[Kph]

There are no rules in this. My husband is 14 years younger than me - it works amazingly - we look and act the same age, we feel the same age and we love each other. The MOST important thing right now is that they make each other happy and that he (and she) is a good and kind person…until the question of marriage and children is on the cards that’s probably all everyone should be thinking of right now.

[Margot28]

My husband is 49 and I'm 63. We've been married over 20 years and absolutely no regrets. When you know you know!

[Pluto]

No! Is the answer. Unfortunately it is human nature to put people in boxes, and when they don’t quite fit the stereotype, it makes others feel uncomfortable. However as someone who is in a (big) age gap marriage, and whose father was 24 years older than my mother, it is absolutely no one else’s business. Live and let live - and don’t be judgemental.