Reform voting housekeeper Post Reply

[Delicate issue]

My parents are quite well-to-do, they’re aging but still in good health.

They have a live-out housekeeper who comes every day and she is part of the family.

Think Mrs Doubtfire mixed with Nanny McPhee and she’s been a big part of our lives for many many years.

I’ve just been back for an extended visit and I don't know whether I didn't realise it before or if she's been influenced by all the Nigel Farage nonsense but I noticed quite a few unfriendly references in our conversations to boats, migrants, foreign owned businesses and the like.

None of it was overtly racist but it was uncomfortable, and I think if I'd engaged it could have got more extreme.

The issue I have is that we'll spend Christmas down there and I don't know if I need to say anything in advance so she doesn't say these things in front of the children or if I should challenge her which might create an atmosphere? We all hold her up as the most wonderful person and I think the children might be influenced by her.

I guess, as I am writing this, that it is apparent that the answer is I have to challenge her, as I would any other member of the family who started saying such rubbish.

[chorister]

The anwer surely is that we (and especially perhaps your children) are lucky enough to live in a country where people can hold and express views with which we disagree (and to be clear, I profoundly disagree with the housekeeper) as long as they are legal.  Why not encourage your children to ask you questions and explain rather than shutting down any conversation?

It's worth remembering that whether we like it or not 75 million Americans have just voted in a free and fair election for those sort of views.  There is something profoundly worrying going on which is reducing the attraction of liberal ideals for tens of millions around the world.  Surely we would do better to try to understand it instead of simply branding them as bigots and trying to shut them down.

[readysteadycook]

Your parents housekeeper sounds a very switched on and astute person.

Perhaps you need to start listening to her as remember, her views are just as valid as yours.

Please be aware that the Mainstream media is all owned by the world elites, to push their agenda. Turning off the BBC and Sky news is a good start.

We live in a bubble in Nappy Valley but many towns in the Uk have been destroyed by the likes of immigration. 

I think you will find Reform could be in a very strong position at the next election when this Labour government has started to destroy the farms, made many of our hold pensioners. Very cold, and destroyed the private school system with their policy of envy, VAT on fees. 

Primary schools will be the worst affected from this VAT and choice will soon reduce. It amazes me that our local school governors are so deluded to think they don’t need to cut fees. Schools will soon need to save costs, that will be done by reducing the numbers of teachers (and their out of kilter, 28% pension contributions - many parents don’t know this part - all paid for by fees).  The fall out will affect many.

Sp please do listen to your parents housekeeper and explore her thinking - you might learn a lot. 

 

[muddyboots]

So you want to cancel her? the woman you describe as a part of your family and highly regard as a Nanny McPhee type.

Because you get to decide her opinions ?
You get to decide which opinions are correct ?

I really don’t think most people start fierce political debate, especially with or around children.
IF she would start saying stuff during the Xmas celebration and you don’t like it infront of the kids, you could politely say “please can we not discuss politics at Christmas “ or similar .

You are not within your rights to take her aside to t lecture her on what she can and can’t think or say . This would be very offensive IMO and I’m sure it wouldn’t go down well.

Also, your children would benefit from being exposed to different opinions and then you get the teaching opportunity to explain how you think and why you don’t agree when you discuss at home.
I often discuss difficult topics and share what I think with my children.

[Loves_London]

I would help them get a new housekeeper.

It is also reasonable to ask her not to spout that nonsense in front of the kids.

As to the other nutters posting, Hitler got a majority vote, doesn't make him (or his voters) right.

Just shows how damaging a lack of education and critical thinking skills are to a democracy.

[Ratski]

I doubt this click bait story happened but these days you will find the good, genuine, honest and decent people think like your housekeeper.

More and more are waking up from their woke slumber.

I’ll employ her if she does exist.

[Pleasechat]

gosh poor you having to listen to views other than your own :)

Do you have an in-depth knowledge about the dangers of illegal immigration for example.

One thing I notice in London in a group, is many older people seem to *assume everyone must have the same view on politics, so they speak *for the group. There is also a lot of prejudice eg ridiculing American public, or labelling and reverse discrimination.

Whether UK or US or French election stuff it's all up for an informed discussion.
Many peoples views are not well informed, whatever stripes they are and just dictated to by the news outlets they follow as another poster said.

Open your mind, people are entitled to their own views. The housekeeper might need to pipe down a bit ;) but their views don't need to be the that of the whole family.
It's your parents decision , what do they think. Perhaps they have their own views too, different to yours.

[SWtastic]

So only views aligning with your own are valid - do you see the irony here?

So what if she voted Reform - a lot of people did, as the results show?  You may not like their views but an awful lot of people do and, as others have said, the impact of decades of poorly managed immigration policy is being seen in many places outside of London, while the affect in London is largely diluted.

[Broken Dad]

Southwest London, where you mention your parents live, is indeed one of the wealthiest parts of the country. The perspective on issues like immigration might look very different for someone living there compared to those in areas hit hardest by economic challenges. It’s important to consider that mass immigration has a varied impact: for families like yours, it might provide skilled housekeepers or childcare providers, but for working-class communities, it can sometimes mean increased competition for jobs, lower wages, and strain on public services.
 
This isn’t “Nigel Farage nonsense” but a reality recognized across the political spectrum. Many believe the Democrats in the U.S. recently lost ground with the working class for similar reasons. They prioritized social issues that resonated with wealthier urban liberals but overlooked the economic struggles of working-class voters. In Britain, the Labour Party has faced similar challenges.
 
If your housekeeper is making these comments, it’s worth considering that her experiences—perhaps as someone who has navigated the effects of immigration or economic change—are shaping her views. Rather than labeling her concerns as rubbish, an open conversation might reveal why she feels as she does. This approach would not only avoid creating an atmosphere but also demonstrate to your children the value of listening and engaging respectfully with views different from their own.
 
After all, she has been a beloved part of your family for many years, and this offers a foundation of trust and mutual respect for you to have a productive dialogue. It’s a chance to model how disagreement can coexist with compassion and understanding, a vital lesson for your children to carry forward.

A really good test is could you do her job on her wage for a period of time? Live her life and face her challenges? 

Remember the new left are only self-described liberals when in fact they are the political wing of the middle class. They have become the chief cancellers and please do not fall into that trap. It is an eccho chamber where ignorance lies. Ignorance based upon a false sense of superiority.

Mass immigration is as well as a liberal ideal also a neoliberal tool to increase prductivity without investment by decreasing wage demands and so lowers wages for the poor. One does not have to blame immigrants or be racist to see this. 

A really good example of the middle class trap of considering onself superior is the last big social split we had: whilst I did not vote Leave many Remainers horrified me by so often chaffing that they were the better educated (they were but this does equate with intelligence as they assumed) despite not being well-eduated enough to distinguish between correlation and causation (less education correlates with lower wages and hence being a mass immigartion net loser) not to mention forgetting the first 3 rules of a marginal election/referendum "don't insult the opposition" - all of that may be untrue but it is a reasoned and well construected argument - not mine I hastenn to add. It has no hint of bigotry. 

You are proably better educated and from a higher social class than this woman. But are you just a snob? Look deep and if you think that you may be then read some philosophy - The Daily Stoic - is free, fashionable & a fabulous place to develop intellectual skills esp those which could equip you here. 

[Ndawg]

Just because we all live in London, don't assume we all hold the same narrow liberal views as you and would seek to effectively cancel anyone with opposing views. This smacks of 'liberal elitism' and plays directly into the hands of people like Farage (who millions of voters support).

[Needcoffeenow]

I imagine if it was just you hearing her views that wouldn’t be a problem but I can see there is an issue if your children pick up on them and start repeating them at school because the school is then likely to take a very tough line on it and you are then likely to be called to account as parents. On the other hand an attempt to have a tactful word with your parents’ housekeeper might go the wrong way, she could hand in her notice and your parents and you will have to deal with the consequences. You don’t say how old your children are. If old enough to explain the situation could you simply say to them that you find Mrs XYZ’s opinions rather horrible but she does a good job caring for granny and grandpa and the main thing is not to repeat her views. If they are too young for this kind of conversation, could you explain the problem to your parents and get them to have a quiet word? They may not appreciate the fact that schools these days have racism policies and you don’t want your children to fall foul of them? I’m speaking from experience here as our youngest child heard our east european cleaner making disparaging remarks about ‘brown people’ and repeated them at school. We then received a formal letter and the incident went on his school record. All in all something good may come from this: your children will meet lots of different attitudes in their young lives and negotiating them is part of growing up.

[Delicate issue]

Thank you for all your replies. I do understand I have privilege however I've also toned down some of her comments that I referenced as I didn't want to go into too much detail but that might have been a mistake.

For example, last time we were there we were discussing haircuts.

I mentioned that I wanted to take people to a particular barber and she said "we always go to X as they're English there and we don't like giving money to XXXXX" - I won't put the reference in there but it wasn't pleasant.

So I don't think it's just a different social background, although I know that's some of it, this feels like overt racism.

Thank you again to all replies.

[Chatplease]

Silly but your role there was to educate, using your 'better' education .
You got her to take them so you must use her.

Use 5 'whys' or just say the haircut skill isnt related to nationality !

Don't worry about who she votes for, that is her right.

Not good to assume she is typical of any voting pattern she is presumably voting for policies.

The school did the educational role above but seems a bit excessive imo to *write to parents-again this shows no interest in having a quick chat about it and finding out more info.

[Chatplease]

Ps
I don't understand why you would overthink , and let a comment like that past you !
Tell her oh thats not nice, anything!

[Needcoffeenow]

The school did phone first! My point is that children can pick up on comments in a fairly unpredictable way that can come back and bite you.