Stay in London or move out?? Post Reply

[mrs_pavlova]

Aye!!!!

[Swmummyofboys]

There is already something similar for Surrey - http://www.surreymummy.com/

[fionaashton-kerr]

I must add a thank you for the replies on these posts. And in response to Dandelion i would like to add that most of my family opted to move away. Guess what, their children my nieces and nephews have also been mugged, offered drugs but most of all tend to hang around with nothing to do. We had to weigh up the pros and cons in great detail. I still feel my children have far more oopotunities living in London. You must bear in mind that stabbings etc are still extremely rare based on the number of people in London and it still happens no matter where you may live or indeed decide to move to. Its what feels right after you have weighed up every single option. For us at least i think we will move out one day, but that day will be when the kids have moved on and we have given them as much of an oppotunity in life as possible. Without doubt these oppotunities come from my experience living in London the most vibrant, multi cultural money making city in the world.

[Bee@lifeafterlondon]

For all of those of you asking about a virtual network I hope I might be able to help. I'm a local mummy based in SW18 and have started something called www.lifeafterlondon.com. The website is made up of forums and chat and the chance to make friends with people in new areas before or soon after you move. I'm in the final stages of the website - we hope to have it finished on Friday (i'm juggling 3 small children so I'm becoming a pro at multi tasking!) but hopefully the site might help some people before making the leap or soon after. Would love to welcome you there, it's free to use but only any good if people get involved! I hope you'll all pop by when you can.
www.lifeafterlondon.com

[womblemama]

I've always wondered, if you move out of London with kids of school age, how do you manage to get them into schools in the new area (assuming you're in the state system)? Do even the best schools in the home counties have spare places at the start of each school year (as opposed to London!)? How does it work?

[clapham2kent]

I made the move down the Kent and it really isnt scary. I am just not sure that 3 children works in London and the schooling thing worried me, and we dont have loads of money. Am sure I will be back in 15 years, but for us it has worked and I have met loads of people from Wandsworth, my life is very similar to Clapham but the kids have got so much more space. We are in rented and desperate to find a house but my friend used a search agent who really wasnt that expensive and knew her stuff. My husband not keen to spend the money, am trying to convince him.

[milliemolliemilo]

Wow, I am overwhelmed by the amazing response to my post. Well, we have decided to stay in London and have found a little house that we love and are currently negotiating with the estate agents and keeping everything crossed. It is a tiny house and the price will shock our non London friends and family if they were to know how much we are offering, but it is just gorgeous and in a great area, perfect for us to settle in our first house before we start a little family

Thank you to everyone who has taken their time to write their views and experiences and for all the great advice. Your honesty has been so helpful. We are very excited about our future and can finally (well nearly) relax about the whole issue. xx

[CHT]

I'm curious like Balhamama how the logistics of a school move work. The only experience I have is of a class mate of my son who moved to Epsom in the summer and is still waiting for a place at the excellent local school....so is commuting everyday up to SW19... That haas really, really put us off looking to move, though I suspect our long term plan will be a move into Surrey for our forever house

[Raspberry-Sorbet]

Hi I can answer your school move question having just done it..It's essentially like the initial reception application in nappy valley (in terms of over subscription, catchments etc) only a different form - an in year application and you can apply at any time.

The bottom line regardless of if it is a state or private school is that if the class is full, you go on the wait list, they cannot legally take more than places allocated for each year group apart from with twins / triplets I think. There seems to be a big shift of people moving out of London and certainly where we are in Hampshire, there is a shortage of school places. One of the headlines on the front of the Hampshire Chronicle today was that the county needs 9000 extra primary school places.

So it becomes a chicken and egg situation - do you choose your house and then hope the local school has a place or do you find a school that has a place and then find a house nearby bearing in mind that you cannot go on the wait list until you have an address in catchment. In Hampshire, all the schools seem to work on catchment and a lot of the primary schools are church schools. We leapfrogged 14 people on the wait list to being the next family in because we had a church reference (Just like to add that I have always attended church not for reasons of school references but in this case it was helpful!) However, although we are now first on this list, we will only be offered a place when a child in my daughter's year group leaves. There is of course always movement but it could take months / years if no one needs to move and the class sizes do not generally increase so again unless someone leaves the school, September and the start of the school year does not automatically bring a new school place.

The school in the next village had a place and we have taken it and my daughter started this week. They didn't have a wait list for this year group so offered us the place even though we are out of catchment. Downside is I drive but it seems just as good as our local and nearest school and whilst I was happy to have her at home until September, I felt any longer was too long for her to be out of the school system. My next hurdle will be that my younger daughter will be classed as an out of catchment sibling so may not be offered a place if it is a busy year group....although the schools have different siblings problems. Our nearest school order siblings (address not considered) above new non sibling applications. So I have heard that this year, some people living very close (within 300 metres) to the school with a church reference have not been offered a place because there were so many siblings but most of those families now live out of catchment. Very tricky as of course makes sense for siblings to be at same school but a hard pill to swallow if you literally live round the corner from the school. So I would suggest checking the sibling policy because the in catchment / out of catchment sibling policy will make a big difference. As will having a church reference.

So in short, it can be like out of the frying pan and into the fire and if you call schools to enquire about a place, you really need to say you are about to buy or rent otherwise they will put you off as they would have hundreds of people on their wait lists and it would be too tricky to manage. It was only when I had an address that I was offered the opportunity to view the schools and go on the list.
Don't be completely put off - people do move and if a school you like has a place, grab it whilst it's there!

[lavenderlady]

I moved from Clapham to the Epsom area very recently and intended to unsubscribe but still enjoy reading about Clapham so did not. I am in a different position in that my daughter has now finished school and university. She went to school in London and it had its good and bad points. As I no longer need to commute I took the decision to move from my terraced house to have the luxury of parking in my drive, living in a cul de sac, larger garden etc. I have only been here 6 months and have no regrets. I do play a sport that has allowed me to start making new friends here and you do have to put in effort to get a new network. I am lucky in that the village I live in has everything a few minutes walk from my home.

I do think though that with young children you would miss your network and friends in London. However, I doubt it is any more difficult to build a network here than in London?

I still go to London (with ease) to meet friends, shop, do the culture etc. I don't think you miss out on any of that by moving a few miles away.

I think if I had my time over again, I might have moved sooner. I did not have to fight hard for a school place although I did go down the private route for secondary school.

What puts me off nappy valley now is the circus that has become the school choice. I saw with dismay what happened at Belleville viz a viz freezing out those next door and see with even more dismay the arguments over those renting to cheat the system. I don't see any desire by the council to improve anything. My sympathy to those fretting about schools, it is truly awful. I just don't think I could go through it!

I have met some mothers at my new sports club who met each other at their childrens' schools so the world goes round the same way outside of the smoke. I have also spoken to many of them who made the move from places like nappy valley and have not heard any regrets. It is a big move and I know I did it later but I love it outside of London. It is safer and there is less aggression about.

Good luck in your decision.

[fatherof6]

STAY IN LONDON

[willowshonker]

Hello, we all think we're unique having these dilemmas!

I was a Londoner born and bred, from really Central London - I grew up just off Sloane Square. My husband and I bought our first home in Rotherhithe, great as a young couple, not so great with a small child. But it was quiet and green and easy to get around London. But we wanted a bigger house with a garden, and didn't want to pay what was being asked in Greenwich, Blackheath, Clapham etc. So we made the move to Epsom. We looked for a long time in Kingston (a bit more like being in London), but ultimately made the move to Surrey. There is no correct answer, you make your own decision, and I'm glad we did. There are plenty of direct trains to Waterloo, Victoria, SW/SE London, and into Surrey. Epsom is a small town with London next to it on one side, and the country/M25 and beyond the other. Many of the families in Epsom have moved from SW and SE London, and others have moved back to be nearer family where they were originally from in this area.

My husband and I both still commute to London, I'd like not to eventually, but it's a pleasant journey. There are plenty of coffee shops in town! And there are more facilities for children than I was used to in SE London. We knew we didn't want to live in the country, but my husband was more keen to move into the suburbs - it was a compromise for me, but as I said, I'm glad we moved.

Wherever you move, schools may still be an issue. Criteria change, populations change, and it is the same wherever you are.

If you're serious and you fancy a visit to Epsom, contact me and I'll give you a walk around x

[tinkerbellmummy]

We had the same dilemma - but we made the leap (well my husband dragged me) and i'm SO glad we did. We have a 3 and 1 year old. However, it did take us ages to find something that replicated the Battersea life I loved, because I knew I didn't want to be reliant on the car for everything. So we found a town in Bucks called Marlow, where I could walk into the town, it has a park, coffee shops and a lovely high street with a JoJo Maman on - so for me, it was a mini replica of Northcote road. I've made loads of friends easily - and mainly ones that have also made the same move from London. But the plus side is that is has great state schools, and you can get out to the countryside in 2 mins without any traffic jams.
So if you can find something that replicate the best parts of London - and don't make too bigger leap into the middle of nowhere then I recommend the move.
And we are still in reach of London, so if I feel the need to visit a museum with 2 under 3's, then I could in theory pop in.
So we weren't too brave, but it is a small leap in comparison to friends who have moved to small villages and done the whole country thing properly. I loved London though and it was great fun having a baby there too, but in reality we couldn't afford a big enough house for our growing family. Good luck with the decision - I know how hard it is! x

[Scrummy mummy]

I'm so glad to see I'm not the only one with this dilemma!! Some really good advice on here x

[Bee@lifeafterlondon]

Don't forget to pop by the new site www.lifeafterlondon.com to connect with others talking about a move and also to ask questions from the locals. It really can help to aid your decision making process!