More chilled out second time around? Post Reply

[twice_as_nice]

Hi

Ive just had a new baby and I'm finding that I'm soo much more chilled out this time round. Lots of things contribute to this like obviously feeling a bitt more like I know what I'm doing, only having one baby this time (twins last time) etc. I'm so much more chilled out and less neurotic. (which is so not liked me)

First time I stuck very rigidly to the 'rules' like only using cotton wool and water when changing nappies, whereas now I've kind of meant to do that but have been using wet wipes and just thinking that really I ought to use water. Also much more relaxed about letting her sleep on me - first timed I was worried theyd get used to that en wouldn't fall asleep in their own beds etc (plus of course there was two of them and only one of me!)

Anyway I just wondered if others have felt the same second time around? Were you more relaxed? Am I making a rod for my own back by being a lot less Strict about sleeping etc?

[sparkletiger]

Totally! I didn't think I was particularly stressed first time but I did worry more about things like sleeping. I've also realised that they are little for such a short time and I really like napping with my little one so I'm making the most of it. I think they benefit from the closeness and they can move to sleeping alone, or more likely with big sister when they're ready

Enjoy!

[CornishMummyinLondon]

Oh how lovely to hear that you are so much more relaxed and enjoying your new baby. I have three and have been progressively more relaxed with each one which has only brought benefits in my opinion. Enjoy every second of your baby sleeping on you, my only slight caveat would be to ensure you don't do this for every single nap and ensure that they are also happy to sleep alone from time to time. As the previous poster said, they are tiny for such a short amount of time so enjoy every second.

[edam]

So lovely to hear it gets easier, am expecting my second in October and there'll only be 18mo between so have been panicking..
My first was pretty chilled so we were lucky, but I still totally stressed out about sleeping and breast feeding.. These posts have made me feel so much better

[Katskii1]

So nice to hear a something like this

[willowshonker]

My first was relatively chilled out. We were anxious as it was our first, and I really struggled with breast feeding, but she was a really good sleeper from 2-3 months.

Everyone told me the 2nd would be easier...

Delivery was much easier (1st was emergency section, 2nd was very straightforward natural delivery with just gas and air). We were more relaxed, and although it was busy, it was nice to have my 3.5 year old daughter around when she wasn't at nursery. I had no problem with breast feeding, except that he fed all the time! But the massive difference was he was a terrible sleeper. He would feed and then not want to go to bed, he didn't want to nap in the cot. The first 6 months were a sleepless nightmare. But at 6 months he suddenly got it. He would nap in the cot for at least a couple of hours in the day, and sleep through from 7pmish until at least 5am (a massive improvement on being up every 2 hours...) And within a little while he was sleeping through to 6.30/7am. I know it's only a few months and others have dealt with sleeplessness for longer, but it felt like a long haul! And it wasn't the effect of weaning as he wouldn't eat anything until at least 7 months.

As I say, most people I know found the 2nd easier and you probably will too, but if you don't, I suspect it will resolve itself soon.