Stuck in a rut !! HELP!! Post Reply

[littlecomedian]

Anyone out there have any advise?? My LG is now 15month and have not yet gone back to work. Basically I lost my job just before I got pregnant (or new I was pregnant ) just as well as I had a really awful 3 first months. Through my pregnancy I tried to get a job but who would be as stupid to take me on. Now my LG is 15month and I still haven't found the strength or motivation to get back to work. I want to and have to as the financial pressure is on.
I really don't know what is going on i have always worked and always been really active and good at my job but nowI just feel I totally lost , have no confidence to get back out there. I have had a look at various website for mother looking to go back to work and have tried to go to all these playgroups and meet other mums but it doesn't seem to help. I just feel I am stuck in a rut and I can't get my butt moving to get out of it. Any advice ???

[BalhamMumWorkingFT]

How do you feel about yourself in general? Do you feel like you aren't motivated because you don't have the right clothes or maybe enough time to focus on what you want?

Have you reached out to a recruiter? It might help to get some advice from someone who knows the market. I think companies are inclined more now to offer part time or flex hours which could suit you.

I am happy to chat more over PM if you like... I am a full time working mummy...

[littlecomedian]

Thank you BalhamMumWorkingFT !! I just feel totally lost demotivated useless and so one . Procrastination should be my middle name these days .

[mrsbfrombalham]

Hello,
i am also a FT working mum and honestly, going back to work is not nearly as bad as you think when you are on maternity leave. I suggest you have a look online, where there is a lot of help for mothers to get your CV updated, think about your skills, your experiences, what type of role you want to go for. Nowadays there are also quite a few agencies that specialise in part-time roles for mums e.g. http://www.mumandworking.co.uk/
You may think right now that you don't have what it takes, but I am pretty sure you have plenty to offer to the workplace. Once you get some of your confidence back, I really hope you see that - there are plenty of us out there working hard in the office and at home and doing it well - and so can you.
All the best

[falconmum]

Little Comedian ,

Not sure what kind of job you were in earlier but previous experiences can throw us off ! Sometimes, we just need to dust it off and move on ...There are 2 reasons you need to do this : financially , you need to support your family and more importantly, it is to stand up as a role model to your LG as a strong , independant woman that you are ...

I did a career /life planning exercise which I found to be useful in understanding myself . (of course, 2 weeks later ,I found I was pregnant , so it didnt really go anywhere)

Have you thought about sitting down and listing the stuff that you enjoy doing ? Do you like organising things? Do you like researching new information? Do you have interest in fashion or childrens stuff ? At this point, the world is your oyster.

There are plenty of part time jobs in Wandsworth/Battersea which are advertised and are opportunities to start at your pace or you could even think about retraining in something you are interested in . There is someone on NVN who retrained in milinery and now has her own small business .

I hope you find something of interest soon . All the best ...

[supergirl]

Oh my... I can relate to you so much.
It takes a long time for the body to recover from pregnancy and birth, dont think you are the only one because you are not.
It is difficult to retirn to work and living a little onf behind, especially if you have no job waiting for you. I feel for you, i was there like you. My second child is now 22 months and it was when she turned 19 months that i felt i had my body back and energy to think about my options and my future.

Talk to your GP. It id possible you are stuck in some post partum depression, or baby blues... Talk to your husband snd friends. Assess your priorities and have a look at your budget again. Can you hold on being at home until september? Or do you have to go back now? Could you use the summer to take some time at the w-e when your husband can look after your LO so you can take some time to think about you? Would you/could you do a career change?

In the meantime, change your diet and have some exercise, get out of the house, meet people. Set yourseld daily achieveble objectives so you can have a sense of achievement. Find a sunday job, they are badly paid but for me it helped to get my brain in a work mood again and now im happily working.


Good luck. Sx

[helenthemadex]

It is hard for a number of reasons to get back to work when you have a young child, its daunting leaving your precious child with someone, many of us loose some of our confidence in our abilities to do a job, and somehow when you have a child it does seem much more important to earn money and have a good standard of living.

But becoming a mother gives you many more skills that you didnt realise you had or situations you didnt realise you could possibly deal with, try not to see it as frightening or insurmountable but an opportunity. Did you like what you were doing before? what do you want to do? is it possible now to retrain for the dream job you always wanted or to start a new business yourself.

A few women I have known have started businesses, some have retrained, I always wanted to be a midwife and after having my dc was the perfect time to do it, I would never have done it before because I didnt have the confidence.

Set yourself goals, give yourself a to do list. I am a list writer and find it really helps me to get things done and see what needs doing and it actually keeps me motivated.

Finally go easy on yourself, having a baby is the most massive life changing thing we do, it can take over our whole life. Its reasonable to expect that after this life changing event it takes a while to get back on our feet

[JMLB]

I lost my job just when I was getting back on my feet - two pregnancies followed shortly by my fathers terminal illness.

I have started two new businesses, beauty and cooking, well known network marketing/direct selling, reputable brands, and am loving the time I get at home with ds 1&2 but also the additional money which I'm contributing the house.

I get to spend time at home, but also get out and meet lots of lovely people and challenge myself daily. Its not a walk in the park and you only get out what you put in, and I haven't put replaced my salary - yet, but I think I have a better balance and am definitely happier than I have been since I went back to work after ds1.

It would be unprofessional for me to 'recruit' online, but do look into these direct selling opportunities - do it carefully as some are better set up than others, but I will never look back.

[theessentialtouch]

Hi Little Comedian

I hope things are looking up for you again. I have been in a very similar position to you. I was made redundant when I was pregnant with my third.

I did the 'return to work' thing after my first 2 children but struggled with juggling childcare and a job. I felt like my head was going to explode having to manage a house and a career, although my husband was very supportive, he was the main breadwinner, and I felt like I had to support him by doing extra chores in the house because I only worked a 4 day week in the office!

It was probably a blessing in disguise that I left office life after my third child. I now have a much more balanced life. Time at home with my kids and building my own part time business which fits into the nooks and crannies of my life. As with the previous poster, I don't make a habit of 'recruiting' on these sites, but I totally relate to how you feel and would love to help you to find that balance and get your self esteem back.

Feel free to PM me if you would like to meet up and find out more.