Brilliant idea for a teacher's end of year present Post Reply

[nell65]

Is it me or is any one else sick to death of having to buy an end of year present for teachers at primary school. I am not a misery but we never did it when I was as school, although I did buy my own one once out of pocket money because my teacher was so lovely that year.
I find it annoying to be pressurised into buying a present every year..if I want my daughter to buy one I will get it for her. This year her teacher has been a total disaster...she's gone backwards instead of forward and most of her friends have too. So if I get a msg asking for a contribution I think I will have to stop myself from being very rude.
I also don't think it is really fair on parents who are struggling just to get the dinner money together before starting to find extra cash for presents.

[jafina]

At my children's primary there is normally a collection done by one of the parents to buy a large present or some vouchers for the teacher. I always put something in but I have always been happy with the teacher.

You really shouldn't feel pressured to buy a present, in your circumstances I certainly wouldn't bother and if someone asks you for a contribution just be polite and say no thank you. If I was collecting the money and someone said no then I certainly wouldn't pressure them.

[kewty]

My eldest is at nursery and at the end of every term we are instructed to give £20 towards the teacher's end of term present. I was absolutely amazed when first asked, and was worried what my husband would say when I told him. I do reluctantly give them their £20 out of peer pressure, but would be much happier giving a present of our own. At the end of the day it is nursery, what is the present bill going to be when we start proper school? It makes me think about becoming a nursery teacher, work half days and on top of a good salary get £100 vouchers at the end of every term. Not bad!
Kx

[Kirstin]

Ok I had to respond to this as I think we get things out of perspective! Yes you do sound a bah humbug, the end of year present is to thank the teachers for the VERY hard work they put in - both my parents are teachers and believe me the day does not stop at 3.30. Should a cash strap parent buy- of course not, but I think most people can afford to buy a box of chocs or a small donation to the class fund Have a google of teachers salaries.... I think you may be suprised. Of course if your teacher is not doing the job that you think they should be then you may feel that you don't want to. The presents don't go on in high school and I think it's easy to ignore how much nurturing and caring goes on in the early years.
At private school donations are higher, but if you can afford c12k fees then 10 or 20 quid is not going to break the bank. I buy for our swimming instructor and ballet teacher as well- just to say thanks for looking after my child. Really... Not a big deal.

[twingirlsmama]

end of year presents are not something you should feel obliged to buy but - yes - we are often pressured by what has become the norm. A collective present - john lewis vouchers for example are a nice idea so that teachers can buy practically anything. We are doing cupcakes this year to give to teachers the last week of term. The girls will be baking them and decorating them themselves. children will take great pride in the giving of these, they can be shared and its maybe a bit more meaningful?

[windmill26]

I agree with Kirstin.
Also if the teacher was a total disaster,I hope you and the other unhappy mums had a chat with the Headmaster about it.

[MGMidget]

I do give teacher presents and will be contributing to the collective fund our nursery parents have set up this year but if someone set the expectation at £20 per parent I would probably be a little put out. I would like to contribute what I felt was right for me which may or may not be £20! I think those on lower incomes or who are less than happy with the teacher should not be made to feel pressurised into contributing more than they want to! So far noone I know has specified a set amount for a collective present, it has always been a case of inviting contributions, no set amount specified. I can guess that in private schools the expectation is that parents can afford a bit more though...However, Kewty, being 'instructed' to give £20 each term sounds a bit like a fee supplement by the back door to me - supplementing the teachers wages which may not be as generous as you think!

[Langstoniamum]

This really annoys me. If the teacher has done a wonderful job and your child is happy then buy her a little present but if not, i don't see why you should. What the hell is up with people these days that they expect you to tip them or give them gifts just for doing their jobs. I know a few teachers and although their salaries aren't high, so aren't most. They certainly don't expect large presents at the end of the year and if anything an honest thank you from a happy parent is much more appreciated. It's becoming like in the US (and being part American I should know) where everyone expects you to tip them just for doing their job (and yes I know some are heavily reliant on tips but there is a reason this is the case - outstanding service!). I remember a time when you would leave a small tip at the restaurant when the waiter was amazing but now any disastrous service is literally automatically tipped 20% and if you even comment on this, well, you better not be planning to go back. Shocking and annoying. Most people can't afford these new habits and they shouldn't, regardless of the state of their bank account and whether they pay for private education.

[janee]

When I was doing my teaching practice (many years ago), on my last day some of the children did give me presents - I felt awkward because many of the children had very little money. One little girl gave me a very small bar of chocolate, apologising that it was so small but it was all she could afford. Seconds later, a couple of girls gave me a similar bar of chocolate - only much bigger. The first girl's face fell. I had to take her aside, give her a hug and tell her that her bar meant much more because she had bought it from her own money.

I always discouraged the giving of presents, whether at the end of year or at Christmas. I discouraged the competitiveness of some teachers - how many presents have you got - and was proud to be bottom of the pile. Mind you, I was touched when a whole class clubbed together to buy something because individually they felt what they could afford wouldn't be important enough.

Parents, please don't be bullied into this. Particularly at the moment, some families really can't afford it and it is the children who are made to feel bad if other parents can afford expensive presents.

[cheshirecat]

That is all quite scary reading.

As both a parent and a teacher I must have been privileged to be in schools were gifts were only given by children that wanted to give them. They are usually chocolates or flowers, or thank you cards. I have never been asked to contribute or buy anything at my children's school and I have never received gifts from every child or really expensive gifts. The best 'gift' I ever got was a thank you letter from the parents of one child that had struggled through, that meant more to me than any shop bought or token gift because it was sincere and personal.

My son has never wanted to give a gift and for me to buy one would be pointless, my daughter has a much more personal relationship with her teachers and always wants to get them something, but it is always something she chooses and usually something small.

[nell65]

Hurray to the two teachers who have both posted that they don't expect a large present at the end of term and really loved being given a small bar of chocolate, or similar.
That's what I think should happen, if my seven-year-old daughter says 'Mummy can I buy Mrs. so and so a present' I shall take her somewhere and let her choose something small.
I do not see why I have to receive a message from the class rep saying they are holding a collection for the teacher and she then gets some vouchers, or something.
I don't believe that's what it is about. It's about the child choosing to say thank you if they want - perhaps with a hand made card, or something like a pretty bunch of flowers. As for the lady who was told to contribute £20 - you have to be kidding!! A. I would be furious at the demand and B. the fact the amount was set.
It's not about being mean, it's about the fact these are primary school pupils and a gift should come from them - and I doubt very much they have any understanding what John Lewis vouchers are.
As for the teacher not being good enough, yes several of us have complained to no avail. Thank god they are leaving that classroom and there certainly won't be an end of year present for her.