What should I do? Post Reply

[Ellabi_28]

This is really terrible I know, but I've been having a fling with a guy who has a partner. I'm not with my daughter's father and I met him on a night out.

I suppose I have pursued him more than the other way around, but he's always been so lovely and keen. I'm 30 and he is 37, and I know I am too, but he is definately old enough to know better.

Without actually telling me, it's clear that he doesn't want to do this anymore, which is fine, but I feel really angry that he thinks he can have his cake and eat it.

Should I tell his partner what he has been up to? Has she got a right to know, or should I just walk away?

Please tell me what you think.

[moops]

Oh dear. Why would you want to tell his Wife? All it will do will cause her hurt and she has done nothing wrong and it will split up a family. If you think that telling his Wife will make him leave her and start a relationship with you then I think you are kidding yourself. You yourself have said that you pursued him more than he pursued you and now he has decided he doesn't want to continue it, possibly because he sees the error of his ways. It sounds like you have a case of sour grapes and feel that telling his Wife and ruining a family will make you feel better and give you everything you want. Sorry but it sounds like it is over and you need to move on, hopefully with a non-married Partner!

[Ellabi_28]

No, not sour grapes. I don't want to be with him, but he should know that he can't go around behaving how he has.

I would want to know if my partner had been unfaithfull.

[Karin1979]

I will have to agree with Moops ... Just walk away ...... !

[moops]

Sorry but his behaviour didn't seem to bother you when you were together so why does it now??

[swlondonmum]

Leave well alone you would destroy his wife and kids and i think you should just walk away and forget it.

[uptheoctave]

You say that he should know he can't go around behaving like this yet you COMPLETELY condoned his behaviour when you were 'benefitting' from it. YOU can't go around behaving like this either so let it go, stop trying to punish everyone and look at your OWN actions rather than other people's.

[bumpontheway]

Have you intentionally not put this under a different name so that you can be traced?
It doesn't take inspector cluedo to work out what your possible real name is and from your other posts the age of your children, where they go to school and you have already said your age and that your split from your husband. I am sure the Mum's in your area may possibly know who you are and now probably wondering if it is there husband.
Affairs are a scary old world.

I am not denying the man is in the wrong but I have always wondered why single women especially women with children (who have a solid understanding of the potential hurt), go for a family man. I seriously believe it is all pretty warped and just gross.

[KatherineHepburn]

The guy sounds like a cheating moron. But all the same, that is for his wife to figure out in her own time.
Don't hurt her just to get back at him. That is surely completely beneath you.
Perhaps next time steer clear of attached men?

[Ellabi_28]

Thanks for your replies. If you had read my original post properly then you would see that I haven't mentioned a wife, or kids, he doesn't have either of these- he's not a family man.

I'm actually doing research and your responses and assumptions have been really insightfull.

Thanks again.

[allycat]

Intrigued as to what sort of research this could be!?

[Ellabi_28]

Research for content I'm contributing to a book.

It's a fictitious situation. I wanted to guage reaction.

I don't want to end of getting abuse for breaking up a family I haven't even mentioned!

[mybloodyvalentine]

I suspect you may have been telling the truth but you're worried about being outed.

Either way your behaivour is pretty ****

MBV

[moops]

You haven't actually clarified whether you did have the fling or not or was this all a complete waste of everyones time??

I am really mad that you would post that rubbish on here, the people on here take time out from their busy lives to respond to posts and offer advice and support not to get tricked!

Pathetic.

[bumpontheway]

Me thinks that you did some editing!! I swear blind that it said wife!