Au pair with bad body odour Post Reply

[loveearlsfield]

Please help me - I need advice on how to sort the problem of my au pair having really strong body odour. I noticed it slightly from the first day but it seems to be getting stronger and it's starting to make me retch. She is a nice girl and eager to please, I just can't imagine how to bring up the subject and fix the problem!!!

[Jen66]

did you get her through an agency? Can you ask them to have a word?

[loveearlsfield]

No, we recruited her through Au Pair World

[Happymama]

Get your kids to say something ?!!!

Poor you ... I could not think of anything worse!!

[NYE31]

Could you not leave some deodorant out for her in her room & maybe get your children to show her how to use it.

It's a delicate one, she may not be aware? perhaps she has a poor sense of smell but not nice to live with.

Good luck

[Teaandbiscuits]

Oh dear, that's an awkward one. I am a nanny and if there were an issue about my personal hygiene or appearance or conduct I would hope that my employer would discuss it with me gently and in private (I.e not when kids/hubby are around). I think attempts at being subtle and sending the kids in would probably be fairly transparent and might embarrass her even more than a one to one.

If she is live in perhaps check that she feels comfortable with using the family washing machine, and that she has access to the washing powder etc. Does she have an airer for her clothes to dry on properly? Can she get to the family shower in the morning or is it full of kiddies or other adults scrambling to get ready for work? I mention these because when I was live in these were issues I faced. I wasn't actually allowed to use the family washing machine and had to use one attached to the stables on the property... Where the horse blankets were washed!!! Luckily I lived near my parents and used their machine otherwise I would have smelt like Shergar!

Ultimately however she may just not be bothered with what some people consider to be a natural odour. In which case that's all well and good but as her employer I feel you do have the right to ask (respectfully) that she comes to work having paid attention to personal hygiene just as you would expect that she would dress appropriately for the role. Future employers will expect the same and may not be as tactful about it. Hope that helps, good luck!

[NYE31]

Good advice Maddiesmum, I will bear that in mind

[nicolekirk]

I''m with the nanny advice on this one!

I run an au pair agency and if a family came to me with this issue, I would advise to speak to the au pair directly, in a respectful manner.

You will probably find that culturally, she will be able to handle it, so don't worry too much!

Good luck!
Nicole

[marypoppins]

Sometimes it's a hormonal teenage thing that they struggle to do anything about. The chemists can advise/provide heavy duty deodorants-i wonder if getting some would help. poor girl might be aware and unable to control it. Please don't send the kids in!! She might be mortified.

[Catian]

Years ago we had students stay with us, in their early teens, and one was a bit pongy, so my mother hit on the brainwave of taking us all swimming - Saturday was the day that the host family would arrange a typical family activity with them. So off we trotted to the pool - unfortunately the young lady with the issue was the only one who didn't want to swim and just watched from the balcony! But I thought of this when I saw your post - if you do a weekly swim then at least she could have a shower pre-swim! Best of luck

[Nana46]

Oh dear. Someone actually said they can't imagine anything worse. Really? I can think of a few thousand : poverty, ill health, disability, domestic violence... If a smelly au pair were all some millions of women around the world had to worry about the world would be a paradise to live in. Middle class angst - Just tell her face to face and if that doesn't work get the agency to replace with a sweeter-smelling one - but then you might have to do a bit of menial work until the replacement arrives. Shocking. Truly shocking.

[coldatchristmas]

Dear Nana46
What side of the bed did you get out of this morning?

Don't be such an online bully.

Its a turn of phrase, nothing more.

And if you're so worked up about all those holier-than-thou issues what are you doing surfing a SW mums website? What did you expect?

Right I need some advice.

My Bugaboo doesn't match the colour of the leather in my Range Rover Sport.

Do I change one or both?

[BalhamMumWorkingFT]

I had this at work with someone I hired. I went out and bought some appropriate items and sat and had a very private chat. It went over well and they were very appreciative of the honesty.Mostly, it is a cultural thing... If it was my Au Pair, I might go slightly up market with some items just to show I care (meaning some nice smelling shower gel, body wash, etc...). If it turns out bad, she can always leave... but I am pretty sure she'll be happy you said something now... and probably will make more friends because of it!

Good Luck.

[Nana46]

Why do I have the temerity to surf an SW mums' network if I'm not middle-class and angst-ridden with nothing more important to worry about? Good question but I didn't know there was such a narrow profile for subscribers. Hilarious!

[MGMidget]

Living with an au pair with bad body odour can actually be quite unpleasant. I've had this too with a previous au pair. I confess I never had the guts to have the conversation - she was a good au pair in many other ways so we put up with it. However, going near her room when she had the door open would make me heave.

As far as your au pair is concerned, I think it could be one of two things. Either its hormonal and she may struggle to do something about it - when I was a school a friend had this problem and needed special deodorants. Even then it was a struggle. I suspected that was our au pair's problem as she had some other issues which pointed to it. Alternatively it could be that she doesn't wear deodorant and really ought to be washing a lot more. I think in some cultures they don't wear deodorant as much as we do and also do little splash washes of the armpits etc at the sink rather than shower every day. If its the latter then a gentle conversation about what is expected in our culture may go down fine and resolve the problem.