this is why we send our children private Post Reply

[Sw17mamma17]

Private schools

Saying sorry generally means you won't do something again. So why do you continue to post inflammatory articles?

Is this what you teach in private schools?

[lawrence]

to be truthfull If I could i probably would of sent my kids to private,I work with children and I can see the difference between private education and public.Im VERY Happy with oul state primary,but not enough not as much attention to children and work.My kids get lots of support,but there is always something to b improved,we have amazing headt,but so many times i struggle to get feedback in reading record,ets ets,they r so overstreched..and this is school top10 in wandsorth...with over 400 children...on.But being state school they r trying their very best,and me a s a parent i get as much involve to help and improve the school,But if i had the finances i would have enrolled my kids private too....why not.After all we all want wots best for our kids,!!!But lets stay on positive aspect of things and everyone strech as much they can afford and not be jelaous of eachother,everybody pay their prize,for whats best for us!!

[MadCurls]

Spot on katesimons3 - couldn't agree with you more. I think people often forget that only 7% of the population are educated at private school (you would think it was more living round here though!). That's an awful lot of people to offend by writing off the whole of state education from one incident! My children are also state educated (as I was) and will continue to be state educated, even if I win the lottery!

Thanks schoolgatesmum!- was just going to reply similarly and supply the following anecdote. My daughter was in a highly praised private school (in this area- Northcote Road-ish) for 1 year to start, and has been in a very good state school for the past 2 years. Whilst at this 'highly supervised' private school she had some very inappropriate things happen to her during 'nap time' whilst the teacher was in the room (probably very innocent children doing 'doctor' type things- but still was done whilst supposedly being supervised!). Yes, we got apologies and hopefully she's not too damaged, but it happened in a room of 16 kids and 1 teacher, who was busy with her computer.

For financial reasons we switched to a very highly rated state school and, not only has my daugher been happier, but I have continued to see her education thrive. And no dodgy semi-molestation incidents! Nothing against private schools, but IMHO, most certainly not worth 13k/year (x 3 soon as I have younger children)!

Sorry- I might be making the wrong assumption 'Private Schools', but I assume you come from a background privileged enough that you can make that choice without lots of sacrifice. I am a City professional who makes a good earning, as does my husband. However, a child I lived in a caravan. We struggled financially until my single mum (who left my abusive father) could save to buy us a small house. Don't be so naive and out of touch to assume everyone is as privileged as you. And bad things do go on in your precious private schools (not that they're bad)- but maybe you have more ammunition to complain when things don't go as they should.

Don't mean to be a bully, as I think you are well meaning, but as someone who has worked their way up from nothing, I find your position quite narcissistic. Reality check please!

[MGMidget]

These anecdotes show that bad things can happen in private as well as state schools. With regards to bullying I don't think this issue is worse in one particular sector of schooling, you can't generalise. Particular schools may be better or worse at handling it whether they are state or private. However, the particular example highlighted by Privateschools is a really awful one and I think its fair enough to air it. Would it have been handled better in a different school or a different borough? Those things need to be looked at but we don't know enough to answer this.

I think its unkind to start attacking 'Privateschools' for asking the question though. I didn't get the impression that Privateschools was assuming everyone was as 'privileged' at them for example.

This was Privateschools first posting, be gentle!

[Fabarooney]

I guess finance and tailored types of education in the private sector may make it work for some kids. But the independent sector is a big 'business' it literally goes against basic education principle ie tolerance, equal opportunities,transparency...in the lack of which there'll be abuses. So yes, there'll be abuse in private schools for what they can't offer in principle, and in state schools due to lack of resources.

[MGMidget]

Mungomuffet, you have just made some sweeping generalisations about private schools whilst complaining about inaccurate generalisations of state schools. You and a few other posters may be happy with your children in your local state primary but this discussion was originally about a state secondary school, and one that the original poster had been offered.

[Bluebutterfly]

It's easy to say that you are happy to choose to send your child to a state primary (or secondary), even if you could afford a private school, if you happen to live in catchment for a good one, which has great facilities, huge parental support and involvement and where many of the children are from the same socio-economic bracket as you (although not all, so there is the element of diversity). It is a truly fortunate position to be in. However I would be very interested to know how many parents in that position would stick to their principles and send their child to the local state were they in catchment for one which had a terrible reputation, poor results, or where the vast majority of children didn't speak English when starting reception. The reason why so many parents are busting a gut to send their children private is not because they are desperate for them to be educated in a privileged bubble (although I'm sure some are) but because they are not in catchment for a decent state alternative. I'm sure I must be going over old ground here, given how often the subject of schools is debated on NVN! If the original question was "if money was no object would you send your child private", my question is "if you were only in catchment for a "bad" state school, would you send your child there anyway?" Most people in this country don't have a choice, but honestly could anyone who is participating in this thread answer yes?!

[Bluebutterfly]

Yes the whole good/bad, state v private situation in London does force parents into making tough decisions early on. Is it like this anywhere else in the country?! People I know who have moved out of london seem to easily get into schools of their choice...

[MGMidget]

I also think the fact that not everyone gets offered a good state school that they are happy with in this area means there is not so much of a bubble as you think in private schools. In fact, I would say that the profile in some of the private primary schools doesn't differ dramatically from that in the 'outstanding' local state schools.

[juliantenniscoach]

My Dad was an engineer and we moved contract to contract. Which meant I went to 3 primary schools and 4 secondary schools. I went to both state and private Catholic primary schools, one being run by Nuns. Aside of corperal punishment with a ruler on the hand I would be happy to send my children to those schools.

I went to a Grammar School, Private and Comprehensive during my secondary school. I can say without doubt the worst school in both education and pastoral care was the (highly rated) Private. Because I was a day-pupil and on a part scholarship bullying was an accepted part of the system by the boarding pupils who were mainly the children of ex-pats. One day-student who was very special needs was bullied or victimised every single day of the dreadful year I was there.

I too was bullied and broke my hand in fighting them off, which as it turned out, was a price worth paying, as they turned their attention elsewhere. The only supportive comment I ever heard from a teacher was "you have to give the boarders a bit of leeway, they go a bit stir crazy".

I was expecting the same when I moved to a Comprehensive (this was the fear era of the '70's) but nothing could be further from the truth. It was a school of the standards that parents could be reassured by in every aspect.

So what's my point? Well in relation to the OP my point is this. It's not about Private or State, nor has it ever been. You only have to do a google search to confirm that. It's always down to the senior staff and the parents. They will make or break the school on both it's educational and pastoral care. I don't believe there's any evidence either factually or ancedotally to say there's more bullying or less care in the local state schools over the private in this area.

I'd bet my hand on it.

[Nearmiss]

So THIS is why you send your children private

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... ernet.html

Totally got it now, because private is SO different

[BalhamMumWorkingFT]

Again, I think we are all interested in a good education for our children. A happy safe environment, that accommodates our families needs. EVERY school deals with bullying... state and private no matter how good the rating of the school is. If there was a perfect school out there for everyone, then we wouldn't have such variety in our choices....

Good Luck everyone with the school crap. It literally is all anyone talks about until their kid is at the right school... and then there is always a friend having problems getting into a school. It's as bad as the weather!

[emsken]

Surely the facilities are better at private schools? Depravity happens in all walks of life!

[Ruby Rhubarb]

Am I the only person who thinks the original post sounds like the title of a book or a blog?

With such colourful and detailed responses, the original poster certainly has got some 'rich' material to work with. I hope that I am wrong!

[schmee]

I went to a "top" public school. Sexual and physical bullying was the norm and when it was reported to staff they said it was the girls' fault and "how could we make such accusations". I was eventually raped. Friends took me to the school medical centre, so they were aware of the incident, but still made the boy in question deputy head boy.

My children will be going to private school, for various reasons, and I will try to find the one with the best pastoral care going. But I'm not kidding myself that anyone apart from their parents will have their absolute best interests at heart and it will be my life's work to try to protect them from this sort of thing.