Should i have a home birth? Post Reply

[havingababy]

I'm considering a home birth - my mother thinks I'm mad and my husband is pretty much against the idea too. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle and would like to hear from anyone that's been through it. Thank you.

[CornishMummyinLondon]

I had my third baby at home and I have to say, it was a fantastic experience and I'm so glad I had him there.

I opted for a home birth because I had my second baby fairly quickly and I was paranoid that this one would arrive in the car en route to hospital. I'd alo had a hiccup free, natural labour with my second so was confident that I could manage ok if my labour played out in a similar fashion, which it did thankfully. 1 hour 55 minutes after I was woken up by my waters breaking George was born in our lounge. An hour later I'd had a bath in my own bath and was safely tucked up in bed. It was wonderful and a very calm, happy start to George's life.

I am always loathe to recommend a home birth as everyone's experience is different but for me it was a great decision. Any questions please feel free to message me. Oh and maybe have a look on http://www.homebirth.org.uk for more info on the safety side of home birthing.

Good luck with your decision.

[Almost_sane]

My mum (ex-Midwife) was very concerned when I announced I wanted a home birth which I found very hard to deal with too. Eventually we had a long talk about it where she talked about her concerns and i was able to point out that we live only 10 minutes from the hospital (probably less in an ambulance) so much of her fears were unnecessary. It turns out she was thinking of home births in rural cambridgeshire in the 60s which is quite a different prospect to now.

I had a great midwife who understood that I would give birth at home if I could, but that I was more than happy to head to hospital if that would be better - sort of "let's start at home and see how it goes". My husband was very involved in the decisions and i trusted him to make the home/hospital call during labour.

In the end I gave birth in hospital (west mid) after a very long labour, and I am so pleased with my decision to start at home. I was able to spend the first 3 days of contractions at home in my own environment. I can't imagine how I would have coped with that if I'd been in hospital. Being at home also meant that the early (disappointing "you're only 3cm") exams happened in my living room without an awkward car journey to hospital and back. I'm sure we would have been sent away at least twice!

An added bonus was that I had a birthing pool in the back room for the last month of pregnancy. It was august and hot and I had a bad back. I used to wallow in it every evening for the last few weeks...much better than a bath and total bliss! Even if you don't decide to homebirth, I'd recommend having a birth pool at home just for pregnancy!

Homebirth.org is good, and there is a monthly homebirth group that meets to bring people thinking of homebirth together with those who have done it. It's listed in the NCT magazine, I think.

[havingababy]

Wow - thanks so much both of you for your comments and insight. I guess there is a lot to take into consideration and most importantly for me is that I need to have my husband's support, whatever my decision is.

We are having this fight at the moment that it's 'our' baby, which of course it is, so it's a joint decision in his mind, but I'm trying to explain that it's not his body that has to give birth, and that he should be supportive of my choice of labour. I get that on the day, it might not go to plan and that I need to remain flexible, but I don't see what's wrong it setting a plan of action and seeing how it goes. What could possibly be more natural, relaxing, welcoming to our brand new baby, than giving birth at home - that's the ideal anyway. And we only live in Teddington, so Kingston hospital is not far, should a trip be needed.

Thanks again for all your help. And I've definitely check out that website.

[laa00ock]

I genuinely believe that everyone has the right to their own choice when it comes to birth, and I know many people who have had great home births, however I'm going to weigh in here on the side of going to a hospital. I had a completely normal pregnancy and would have been considered a good candidate for a home birth, however I chose to have my baby in a hospital. Due to a condition with my placenta, which was a totally freak thing and is undiagnosable by ultrasound technology, my daughter ended up being deprived of oxygen at birth. People are always making the argument that they "only live x minutes from the hospital" but trust me, when you have a baby that requires resusitation for any of a whole host of reasons (not to mention interference to prevent the knock-on effects of brain damage), x is too many. Every minute counts, and the 10 minutes you save by being down the hall rather than down the road could mean the difference between a kid who recovers and severely disabled one. Again, it's totally a personal decision, and chances are in your favour that everything would be fine, but I felt I had to at least weigh in on the possible drawbacks!

[F1Mum]

I had my first baby at home and it was the best decision that I made. All my other NCT friends had horrible births in hospital, most being cut open and this probably wouldn't have been the case if they had them at home.
I definitely would have been cut open if in hospital as I was pushing for a lot longer than they would have allowed me to in hospital. Everything was fine with me and baby it just took a bit longer than the doctors would have allowed.

Both my husband and mother were against it at the start but once my husband met the midwife and talked through each scenario he was then a lot more happier about the idea.

The midwife carries with her resuscitation equipment and anything that she might need in an emergency. She will general spot anything that isn't right a lot quicker than any midwife in hospital as she is giving you one to one care and her career depends on it. Generally independent midwifes have a lot more experience than the midwifes in hospital and that experience can be much needed if you have an emergency.

I would say you have to be the right type of person, you have to believe in yourself that you can get through the whole process with just gas and air.
The best part of the experience was having a bath with my newborn straight after he was born and then having lovely home cooked food and being tucked up in my own bed. Much better than a labour ward!

Even if you don't manage to have the baby at home I would definitely recommend an independent midwife as the after care you receive is so needed for a first time parent. They will visit you up to 6 - 8 weeks after the baby is born and this support with breast feeding, the many questions you will have about the new born and the support they give you is unquestionable the best money we ever spent.

The website for the midwife I used is here http://www.birthrites.uk.com she was brilliant

hope that helps

[Lucullus]

My wife had both children at hospital, and both seemed positive if different experiences.

However, you might care to read this, before making a decision: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/ ... irth-risks

[yoyo]

You should be watching ITV at the moment - Home Delivery.

I had a my 3rd at home and it was absolutely fantastic. I had three straightforward pregnancies, but frenetic births with the first two at hospital, so pushed for a home birth with the 3rd. It was the best think I've EVER done - incredibly calm, safe and straightforward.

I was lucky enough to have an independent midwife who ensured I read lots of relevant research and statistics to make sure I was very aware of all possibilities, despite all statistics showing that home birth is equally as safe as a hospital birth.

I opted for an independent midwife at 30 weeks when West Mid highlighted that they couldn't guarantee a home birth due to shortages of mid wives.

There's a local group of independent midwives you might want to call - Teddington Midwives who are mainly ante-natal classes but are run by midwives. Also one of the 'leaders' of homebirths and independent midwifery lives in Teddington - Brenda Van der Kooy - and she may be able to offer some one to one advice too.

Good luck