How to get a reluctant nanny to teach reading and writing? Post Reply

[Sunny007]

Hi there

I'm looking for some advice please !

We keep asking our nanny to spend some time with our daughter (who is 3.5 yrs old) to teach her basics of reading and writing. Our daughter goes to morning nursery so will learn there, but we also want our nanny to put in a bit of extra time each day so our daughter gets some more practice and one-on-one time to learn.

We go through phases of asking our nanny to spend time each day teaching reading and writing - then she'll agree, keep it up for a bit, and then nothing after that. If we ask our nanny if she's doing any teaching, she'll always say "yes" but we're not at all convinced she really does and feel a bit fobbed off!

Can you suggest any way we can structure what teaching a nanny does each day, so she is more likely to keep this up but yet can be done in a way where she doesn't feel as if we're breathing down her neck by asking her about this all the time.

Are there any workbooks out there for nursery children to fill in at home each day? Some sort of written work books could be good as it would be proof that they're doing a bit of work each day. Can anyone suggest where I could buy this sort of thing or recommend some other way that we can monitor what teaching our nanny does?

Or do you have any other ideas - I thought about noticeboards but they can easily be ignored once the novelty wears off.

many thanks for any advice !!

[SW Nanny]

My advice would be to do some 'jolly phonics' with her which you can buy in the form of an audio CD and flashcards. It is a simple introduction to the letters which will help her with reading and writing in the future. With regards to her actually reading and writing it's a little early as it is worth noting that primary schools do not expect children to be able to do this when they start school.

As for the reluctant nanny I would just remind her what you expect from her and maybe ask your daughter what new sounds/letters she learnt that week?
Hope this helps.

[Sarah-Jane25]

Hi There,

We used the Jolly Phonics games, flash cards and workbooks.
They are great fun for the little ones and we used stickers as a reward - which would end up on a sticker chart.

You could also ask your nanny do make some sort of a memory game with the letters and a picture ("L" and a lions head next to it for instance) and then maybe play games where your daughter finds numbers and letters all around her (on busses, shops, house numbers) have a different theme each day and keep a record of her practise.

[Temp nannies]

HI,

Could it be that your nanny has problems with reading and writing herself, so lacks the confidence to teach a child?

Is it in her contract to teach your child. If it is, this can work in your favour if you're getting to the point of looking for a new nanny, as she isn't fulfilling the terms of her contract. You may want to sit down with her formally and review your family's needs, and see whether she really wants to continue?!


Laura
Temp Nannies International

[HikingGirl]

Have you asked her why it seems to drop down in her list of priorities? Does she just not really enjoy teaching? Is she generally a bit lazy? Does your daughter not want to do it? Is she against teaching reading and writing this age? Personally I think 3,5 is very early, especially to do writing. That age our pre-school only did Jolly Phonics songs, and signs, while looking at a letter, and recommended we only did writing in 'huge arm wide gestures' eg. in the sky, or on a large painting canvas or whiteboard. It is important they first develop their 'big' motoring skills, before going into the fine motoring skills. Personally I really think there is no need to start this early, and if your daughter is really interested she will just ask for it and pick it up, and enjoy doing it. Offering games like the 'bus stop' one suggested above is sufficient and fun.

[Sunny007]

hi there
thanks for all the suggestions and advice.

Our nanny is lovely and great fun, but not particularly academic and tends to just do the fun stuff with the kids that she likes doing too and seems to dismiss our ideas of spending time doing basic teaching.

We're not trying to be too much like pushy parents, but just maybe half an hour a day to go over the letters and sounds that the children learn at nursery and getting my daughter to write letters the right way round and so on.

I thought some sort of work book for nursery children would be a good way to monitor what both my daughter is doing and also to make sure there is some evidence that our nanny is doing this on a regular basis. We have the phonics flashcards but I'm not sure how often they get used these days, if at all.

Although our nanny is good in many ways - it does bug me that we have to keep asking her to do this.

Keep the ideas coming - it's all very much appreciated !

Sunny x

[Sunny007]

hi there
thanks for all the suggestions and advice.

Our nanny is lovely and great fun, but not particularly academic and tends to just do the fun stuff with the kids that she likes doing too and seems to dismiss our ideas of spending time doing basic teaching.

We're not trying to be too much like pushy parents, but just maybe half an hour a day to go over the letters and sounds that the children learn at nursery and getting my daughter to write letters the right way round and so on.

I thought some sort of work book for nursery children would be a good way to monitor what both my daughter is doing and also to make sure there is some evidence that our nanny is doing this on a regular basis. We have the phonics flashcards but I'm not sure how often they get used these days, if at all.

Although our nanny is good in many ways - it does bug me that we have to keep asking her to do this.

Keep the ideas coming - it's all very much appreciated !

Sunny x

[kidswithadhd]

3 1/2 - too early!
Please let your child BE a child. Once they start schol they will be doing this day in, day out until they are at least 16, but possibly until mid 20s. Forcing reading and writing too early will be more damaging than it is helpful.

Let the nanny do other things for now and wait a few years until the forced extra work kicks in - then choose a nanny based on your needs. A 3 year old does not need extra tuition.

I know how horrifically competitive it seems, and that you want the best for your child, but please believe that being able to read and write at 3 is not an indication of the best.

Having fun, spending time with loved ones, and playing are far more character building at this age than phonics, especially when they're done by some-one untrained and reluctant.

If you MUST persist, then I'm afraid this is something you do yourself, rather than delegating. If it is that important to you then you will need to find the time. But my advice is, don't worry about it. There is very little advantage to be got from forcing the issue at this age.

Forget the working partent guilt and make sure the time you spend with them is quality fun time.

[marypoppins]

At this age they may learn more effectively in a more informal way -stick labels all over the place with the names of objects on them in Lower case (fridge door etc). They get used to seeing these things - run finger along under the words when reading to them so they make the connection At this stage it's pre reading skills they need and as the previous poster says they need to do things big and fun before concentrating so hard on formal learning. Get the nanny to paint the alphabet with the child using differetn craft activities - too much too young and risk putting your child off. When they are more mature it comes so much more easily to them and then it's fun - age appropriate!

[Sunny007]

thank you all for the advice - some good tips on making learning fun.

maybe we have over thought the need to learn things so early but this is our oldest child and we're learning about being parents at we go along (!!)

also my daughter has a late summer birthday so she is the youngest in her nursery class. some of the older children in her year seem so much more advanced as a difference or 9 or 10 months at that age makes a big difference.

some good advice and reassurance - thank you

[jenwaken]

All kids are different, and while 3.5 is really too early for some kids, others will be really excited to start learning to read. I have one of each! Anyway, this book was really great with my daughter (though my son was totally not interested and learned to read just fine once in primary school). My sisters have used it, as well, and similar results--some kids just love doing it and others won't. So do find out if your kid is keen--maybe that is why your nanny is giving up. If your child is enthusiastic, it should be really easy to track progress with this book--aim for a certain number of lessons a week and then plan a reward for both of them--buying a special cake, making messy play dough, or whatever. Anyway, just a thought. Good luck!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Teach-Your-Chil ... 037&sr=8-1

[Sherlika]

I am sorry, but I cannot be quiet on this one. Do you really expect a nanny to do something you could be doing as a parent? First, she is not qualified to teach. Second, instead of stressing and frustrating your child with books to learn to read and write, get the nanny (if you cannot be bothered or have time) to read with your child.

For a child to read and write well, she has to be read to first. She is extremely young. The English language is the most difficult language to teach a child to read as the way you speak is different from the way you write. I agree that phonics is the best way to start.

Instead of buying boring books, use the computer with phonics. It has to be playful and fun. Otherwise, you will not achieve anything.

But please do not expect a nanny to be a tutor. That is too much to ask.

[Txmom]

There are other workbooks you can buy and most book stores have them. My nanny is very keen on the teaching aspect and has found some good ones my boys, who are also 3.5, really enjoy. Mine prefer math types ones to reading though. and when i say maths - its not reall maths like we think of it but matching numbers to pictures etc. but we only do it b/c they enjoy it. I agree with the others (and teachers at nursery say the same) - if they don't enjoy it, don't push it. we work with our nanny to share the 'learning' but in her case she is trained/qualified in this regard so she takes the lead on it a lot and enjoys it. I appreciate the desire to consolidate and carry forward what they learn in nursery so if you can figure out a fun, easy way to do this to assist your nanny in the process, then go for it but don't stress over it as they are only kids once and will progress once primary school starts in earnest. Good luck.

[amapola]

My boy is 5 1/2 and dies not read or write. He plays, explores and interacts very well. He loves books ( looking at them and listening). He is clearly intelligent and will be ready at some point. I will not force it on him and I hope he enjoys it as much as I did. Sometimes we really need to respect our children more.

[Sunny007]

JenWaken - thanks for the book link. we'll order it and try it out

Sherlika - thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. Don't worry about us not "being bothered" to do things with our children. We do! It just happens that the time that our nanny works happens to coincide with the only opportunity for one-on-one time that we get during the week with my eldest.