TOTALLY SHOCKED AT SUCH IGNORANT PEOPLE Post Reply

[falconmum]

Well done mungomuffit. U r right. the onus is on US as parents.

[MGMidget]

Mungomuffit, I think you handled it very well actually - well done! It sounds like it had the desired effect too if your daughter is now behaving so well!

[Scottov]

Having read this thread with interest as it unfolded, I hadn't expected to be in a similar situation so soon! Blimey, it was terrible and I'm not sure I did the right thing (no doubt Scottov will tell me I didn't), just did what I thought was right at the time in a VERY challenging situation.

I arrived to meet my parents and 7 yo son at Chelsea Carluccios with a cold and grumpy 5 year old daughter (we got lost, it was snowing, probably walked nearly a mile to find it, so I understand that she was not in the best mood). My parents fuss over her: "where do you want to sit darling, here, there?" "Next to Nana" she says, but that's where her brother is sitting. No, sit here next to me, your brother is sitting there. Kew (sp?) whinging, carrying on. So brother moves into the spare seat next to me so she can have the seat next to Nana. She's still not happy. Now she decides she wants to sit next to me, where her brother has moved. I say no, your brother has moved to give you that seat and is not moving again, stop being a pain or we will go home. Meanwhile, my parents are fussing over her and giving me dark looks because I'm not backing down to my 5yo dictator. But, that's for another thread - grandparents who contradict parents openly in front of the children ...

Well, to cut a long story short, daughter was determined to be a little sh*t, disturbing people in the restaurant and ruining our lunch, so I gradually gathered our belongings, stuffed her into her coat, picked her up and carried her over my shoulder out the door. She then screamed her lungs out on Fulham Road and then for the next 5 minutes in the cab home, while I couldn't stop crying. [Cabbie was pretty happy because I gave him a large tip to make up for it!] She's really great most of the time, I hasten to add

I agree with Lulubear that the onus is on us if we take our children to a public place that they need learn to behave and with Ellesmum and Supergirl that it's never too young to set boundaries. Take the child home as a punishment for behaving badly. Then, when it's calmer, explain to them why they were taken home. Which is what I did and she seems to understand and has been lovely ever since!

phew, sorry for the long post!

could not agree more.

things such as common decency, manners, and consideration should not be negotiable.

taking responsibility for the situation, which you clearly have is all anyone can ever ask of you. what's more, its likely to have set a boundary that your daughter will understand if not approve of.

after all, what are the chances that she didn't know she was being a little bit naughty, seeing how far she could push mummy in front of the grandparents?

[daddy72]

I was in a Costa a couple of weeks ago and my little one started playing up and got a little loud. As any parent would I'm trying to calm her down and it was taking sometime. While this was going on a suit at the table next to me turned and said "please keep it down I'm trying to conduct an interview here"

I turned to the interviewee and suggested she looked for a job at a company that didn't need to conduct interviews at a coffee shop on the high street.

Unfortunately there are always going to be people that think children should be kept out of coffee shops, restaurants, planes etc. Usually sad people who think the world revolves around them.

[MGMidget]

I also think its wrong to think the world revolves around their children and everyone else should put up with them nomatter what the behaviour. Of course we can't expect them to behave exactly like adults but if they are really disturbing others then we have to try and keep the behaviour within reasonable limits. I speak as someone who has a child not a 'suit'.

[dancing_queen59]

Apologies for making a comment so late! Ive been reading through some of thr comments and I just wanted to add a bit more to what happened.

The whole tantrum started off because he wanted a second biscuit. I was about to tell him he could after he had his dinner but as soon as I said no it all kicked off. Trying to talk to a very loud shouting toddler is impossible. I was simply allowing a break in his loudness to communicate. Giving him the biscuit to 'shut him up' like the diners would of liked was not what was going to happen! I just wanted to add that with me I had an

other under 5 and a 4 week old baby. Trying to drag outside an extremely heavy toddler and leaving 2 children there was sadly not option although this is what I would of done if I wasnt alone.

Irrelevant of how a parent deals with it the diners are still totally out of order and especially living in an area with so many under 5's should of just stayed out of it

I have since seen that woman who smiled at me and did not receive the same response back!

This whole situatiin has made me very nervous about being out in a public place

[daddy72]

@ Dancing Queen - It seems that you were trying to address the tantrum, that's all we parents can do. If you were sat there doing nothing then perhaps that would be an issue - unfortunately there are parents who do that. In no way should you feel that you can't take kids out anywhere.

[Scottov]

.
Irrelevant of how a parent deals with it the diners are still totally out of order and especially living in an area with so many under 5's should of just stayed out of it

That's going too far