Nanny asking for pay increase and paid sick time Post Reply

[momtomum]

We're new to having a nanny. I just went back to work full time in January after being home with my kids for the better part of a decade.

We found a nanny we're fairly happy with, however there have been a few issues. We're six months in and she's asking for a pay increase and more paid sick time. In our contract, we specified that we would follow the government guidelines on Statutory Sick Pay, meaning the first three days are "waiting days" and then after that we would pay the statutory sick pay. We are honestly unhappy with how many sick days the nanny has already taken. In the first six months, I think she was out almost two weeks (in addition to 4 weeks paid holiday). She wants us to pay her sick time, but in both my husband and my work contracts, we cannot take sick time when we miss work because she is sick. So far we've asked her to make up the work days on a day she's normally off so that I can make up the time at work.

As far as pay, we feel the pay is reasonable already, especially as she brings her son to work and he's quite demanding.

And then as far as her performance, there have been a few issues. Other mums from school have mentioned that she ignores our kids in the park, letting even the 2 year old run off and play with kids from school. She just sits and play son her phone. And then at least some of the time at school drop off, she leaves our 4 year old at the nursery gate rather than walking him in.

Sorry for the rant...what to do? On one hand, we don't want to lose her. The kids have bonded to her and it would be a pain to start over with someone new. On the flip side, I feel her sick time has already been a huge inconvenience and that we're already being quite flexible allowing her to bring her child. Any advice?

[kiwimummy]

Personally, I don't think you should continue with this nanny. The reports from third parties are big red flags for me. I would be livid to get reports that my child was being ignored in the playground or just dumped at the gate at 4 years old.

On the sick absence, that's a huge amount of time to be sick in six months. Is there an underlying medical problem, or is to ad hoc sick leave?

I would give her notice. I might get slated by other posters for not giving her a warning and an opportunity to improve, but personally I wouldn't want her taking care of my kids. There are wonderful nannies out there who really take care of the children they look after, and your nanny sounds like she isn't doing that.

[shopper]

I'm with Kiwimummy....

[momtomum]

We've thought about that, but we're also really nervous about the change for our kids and in some ways would rather make it work through December when our daughter will then be starting nursery in January. The nanny's responsive when we bring things up and seems willing to improve. The issue is we just don't feel her performance justifies a pay increase and we feel we're already being highly flexible around the sick leave. The number of absences is primarily because of her child - there were I think four different times he got sick and then she got sick.

I know she made more in her last nanny role, but that was before she brought her child to work. At the end of the year, she makes more than twice what I do (after taxes and the cost of childcare) working fewer hours and being with her child...and in the economy today most employers are not giving out pay increases every six months.

Do other families pay sick time + holiday beyond the statutory requirements? If so how much?

[AbbevilleMummy]

I also agree with Kiwimummy.

I give my nanny unlimited sick pay and unlimited holidays on top of regular pay rises and gifts.

I do this as she is wonderful and I couldn't be without her. All my friends see her regularly and say how wonderful she is with my children. My children genuinely love her and I have never had any cause to pick her up on anything in the 18 months she has been with us.

Before we had our current nanny I had a nanny who sounds similar to your nanny. She was always off sick, requested a 10% pay rise 3 weeks in and took all her holiday at the start of the year and then kept asking for more.

Like you, I was worried about lack of consistency for my daughter if I replaced her and so put up with the situation for far too long.

When I eventually did terminate her employment and we found our new nanny I kicked myself for putting up with unsatisfactory childcare for so long. I realised my daughter was far better of without her.

Employing a nanny is expensive. It takes up a huge proportion of your net salary and therefore you need to be 100% comfortable with your choice. Your nanny should make your life easier and not add to your stresses.

I would start looking around sooner rather than later. I doubt you'll regret it.

[kiwimummy]

I think the level of time she's ill is going to make your life difficult. To give you a comparison, my nanny has taken half a day off in two years and then only because we went her home. We operate a share and she tries not to take sick leave if possible as it means two parents can't be at work.

The real issue is the lack of attention to your chidren in public. I have never had a negative report about our nanny not tAking care of the children. If you are getting these reports, you have a safety issue, not a performance issue. That's why I would not compromise.

I know it's hard, but there are professional nannies out there who would do a much better and professional job. I am lucky I stumbled across a great one, and I know she can be very critical of some of the other behaviour she sees from a small percenatage of nannies.

It is your call, but you are receiving a pretty poor performance from someone who clearly has a strong sense of entitlement. I would cut my losses before she gets to two years service and you can't terminate her without cause.

[NYE31]

I agree with all the other posters, def get a new nanny, this must be really stressing you out & too many red flags.

From all the posts that I read, there seem to be loads of great nannies around.

Good luck

[DillyD]

Gosh, what a situation to find yourself in. I fully appreciate your situation but when you're receiving comments from other mum's at the school gate that make you worry about the care your children are receiving, it's time for a change. Children are so adaptable (my two always amaze me) and respond to loving attention of which you'll absolutely be able to find in another nanny.

We have the most incredible nanny who, like all of the nanny's I've met through her, are professional. They take their roles and responsibilties seriously. (This is their career afterall).

Our nanny rarely has sick days and as for holiday's we always agree these well in advance where possible.

You know when you have a treasure of a nanny when you can go to work without concern, your kids are fullfilled and happy and she becomes an extension of your family.

We live in the perfect place for you to find someone who will take away all of this anguish.

Wishing you luck with your decision it's always an emotional one when kids are involved.

[dansk1234dance]

I'm with the other posters.

About a week and a half ago, I posted about a similar issue (albeit it wasn't as grave as yours) about a nanny, I had only just hired, whom I believed wasn't doing her job properly. Lots of posters recommend I should go with my gut feeling and get another one. Which I did.

It wasn't easy, but I don't regret it for a second. I currently have a temp nanny (the first few days were chaos and it's turned out to be more expensive, but still worth it) and my new permanent nanny starts on Friday.

A couple of years ago, I was in a similar situation to you are now, when a nanny I didn't know turned up at my front door to tell me that she believed our nanny wasn't treating my son well (physically). Needless to say I got rid of her too.

I really feel for you and understand the anxiety, frustration and hassle you are feeling. But as everyone else has said, when I comes to the safety of our kids, we must put that first. And also a fireable offence not to ensure their safety at all times.

My kids are 4 and 1 years of age and I truly believe that they will be just fine even though they have been through a few nannies in the last couple of weeks. They are adaptable and ultimately prefer to be around people who really cares for them and engages with them than they would prefer to have consistency for consistency's sake. December is a long way away.

PM me if you want more advice, but I'd give Abbeville nannies a call to see if they can organise a temp for you tomorrow and then start interviewing through them, gumtree and contact applicants on this site. There are so many wonderful nannies out there, there's no reason to compromise

good luck

[momtomum]

We did have a probation clause, but it was for 3 months. And we can fire her at any time for safety issues.

We had a long chat with our older children tonight. She said the nanny calls them brats. They feel like she doesn't listen to them or care about them. Our younger two seem quite happy with her, but the older kids say that yes, she pretty much sits in the middle of the park by her son and plays on her phone while they run off at the park...even the 2 year old at a park with no gates and plenty of hazards (trees, big dogs, big kids on bikes, not to mention the cars right out the gates!). Ugh.

[Katskii1]

I think without a question get rid of her. Your children will adapt and much better long term - good luck!

[Mrs Contractor Mum]

Wow!!! She's sounds awful. Please tell us you're firing her tomorrow? In any workplace that behaviour is unacceptable let alone with children.

[Mrs Contractor Mum]

Actually, I remember a slightly similar topic a while back:

http://www.nappyvalleynet.com/mums/view ... ise#p64321

Wonder if its the same nanny?

[momtomum]

Our contract says we can fire her at any time for gross misconduct. Do you all feel the safety issues around school drop off and the park plus calling a child a brat could be considered gross misconduct? I think I do, but I am not expert in employing a nanny! Otherwise the contract requires verbal and written warnings before we can terminate her contract.

[Mrs Contractor Mum]

Yes - its gross misconduct and a breach of trust.