Counselling after traumatic bith in preparation for upcoming Post Reply

[Vhopeful]

I have just found out I'm pregnant and as my first birth was a very traumatic experience (crash C section) for me I am already begining to have nightmares about this time around. I really don't want to be a nervous wreck but I can feel that's the way I'm going so was hoping that someone may have some advice about how I could perhaps try to deal with this head on. Has anyone ever had counselling for something like this or is hypnobirthing the way to go?

Any advice welcome

[CarolineJ]

Have you had a birth debrief at all? I had one after the birth of my son (crash section, baby born in bad condition and spent almost a week in special care) and it really helped me see what went wrong and to come to terms with it.

It wasn't counselling as such, but was with one of the Obstetric Consultants who was lovely and sympathetic. I organised it via PALS at the hospital I gave birth at.

I was pregnant with my daughter when I went for the debrief and I went on to have a successful VBAC with her. I think given my history if I had insisted on a c-section they would have given me one though.

Good luck!

[ANT_clapham]

I'm so sorry to hear about the experience you had but it's great you're looking to tackle it head on. The birth trauma association would be a good place to look. They have details of counsellors who can help. http://www.birthtraumaassociation.org.UK/counsellors

Have you gone over your hospital notes from last time with the hospital you were at? Some people find if they talk through what happened with a medical professional then it helps them understand the reasons why things turned out as they did, which makes it easier to deal with.

Hypnobirthing could be really useful too and is worth looking into.

Email me if you want to chat more. Sometimes just writing down what happened to you helps get it out of your system.

[ANT_clapham]

Great minds, CarolineJ.

Sorry, the link I posted didn't work.

http://www.birthtraumaassociation.org.u ... ellors.htm

[Vhopeful]

Thanks for the advice, I have not had a debrief from the hospital in question, I did write them a letter yesterday requesting additional information as they mentioned they would do an investigation as to what went wrong I just never saw the results of it.

ANT_Clapham will definitely check out the website you mentionand thanks for offering to listen

[firsttimerSW11]

Your consultant should refer you to the Perinatal team (they will if you're in the C&W). They will see you as often as is required.

[Bubs]

I had the same with my first, crash section. I also had a de-brief, via PALS with my labour & birth notes (and kept copies), which gave some clarity and really straightened things out in my head. It was all just a big blur, but now makes sense.

However, I was still utterly petrified when it came to my second and begged and cried for an elective, which I got - even though C&W tried to encourage me to have a VBAC.

I so wish, now in hindisght, that I'd tried for a VBAC, and I never EVER dreamed I'd say that. So I would say, do try to anything you can to come to terms with it if you can, as now I'd give anything to go back and have my second baby naturally.

[ThePeelClinic]

Hi, good advice on previous postings.

I some years ago worked at a pregnancy advice centre counselling mums ( and dads) who had been through birth traumas (miscarriages, terminations etc). I am also trained as a Medical Hypnotherapist and trauma psychotherapist (EMDR Therapy) and have worked in this field for many years. My only regret is that these treatments were not available when my wife had our children over 30 years ago.

I often recommend Hypnotherapy courses to my clients facing pregnancy as you can go the the classes with your partner and you will be with several other couples which can be fun and the hypnotherapists are experienced midwives. It is also cheaper than one-to-one treatment with a hypnotherapist. One-to-one treatment might only be appropriate if a mum has complications, previous birth traumas or prefers privacy.

I suggested my daughter-in-law had hypnobirthing four years ago and she had a great outcome - quick and easy birth, no painkilling drug or gas. She went on a course in London with her husband. Her father an eminent Professor of Medicine and sceptic was amazed as were the hospital doctors and the midwives.

I asked my daughter-in-law to write an account of her experience of hypnobirthing so I could let others read it. If you would like a copy emailed to you please send me your email address. christopher@thepeelclinic.org.uk. (Clapham Common Northside).

[Hypnobirthinglottie]

Hello sweetheart. I completely empathise with you. I'm also pregnant with my second and although I am calm and confident (am a hypnobirthing teacher) I admit there's a small part of me that's terrified. It took a whirl to get to this point - I had post traumatic stress & pnd. I did what ladies above suggested, and went to birth trauma. I spoke to a wonderful woman at AIMS (association for improvement of maternity services) and she has advices me to do the birth debrief. I am also going to do it but the thought of it is a bit scary, dragging stuff up when I'm pregnant so I do understand. But it must be done. On my experience women who do hypnobirthing after a traumatic first birth (a healing birth) if they do not do the debrief they tend to panic at the first surge / contraction and are transported right back to their first birth. This is a new baby and a new birth awaits. It doesn't have to be outwork your control. I think hypno therapy or hypnobirthing would benefit because you get to talk in depth about fears and do work to release them. You also learn coping mechanisms so that if birth veers off the path you have your heart set on you will cope better and recover faster. The mind is such a powerful thing! I wish you all the best and of I can further assist please do pop me an email to lottie@blossomandbloom.net. Keep positive, this is a new birth!

[vitty]

I recommend chatting to your gp who can refer you. There is an element of understanding what happened but it also important to deal with the trauma which can be done by a therapist. You can be taught coping strategies for anxiety attacks that you may experience which is perfectly normal for trsuma related stress. Make sure you prepare for birth and post birth and get as much help as you can so you can feel safe and supported. An experienced doula could make a big difference. It does have to be the same this time around and you have time to prepare. All the best xxx

[vitty]

DOESN'T have to be the same this time around!!!! Typing on my useless phone. Sorry!!!!!

[sandraletitia]

I sit on the Labour Ward Forum at St.George's as a maternity service user rep and heard recently about a new Afterthoughts service where women are invited to talk through their notes with a very experienced and empathic midwife. It isn't counselling but for many women it is really helpful to have an understanding of what happened and why. It is also the first step in moving on.
I agree hypnobirthing would be helpful - I run Natal Hypnotherapy workshops in Wimbledon and from my home in Southfields.
http://www.birthconfidence.com
Maggie Howell, who I trained with, is working on a CD specifically for birth trauma but it isn't out yet.
Whatever route you choose to go down, and there are a number of us around, I would recommend one-to-one sessions.
I do hope you get some closure, so you can enjoy this pregnancy and look forward to the birth of your baby.

Wishing you all the best,

Sandra.

[suelewisantenatal]

I am very sorry you experienced a horrid first delivery.
I agree with all the other posts especially a debrief at the hospital where you delivered .
Hypnobirthing sessions may help you but learning relaxation and breathing techniques & labour coping strategies really early in an Antenatal class could be useful as well.
It sounds like you will get lots of support ,talking is most cathartic - good luck.
If you want more details do call me.
Sue Lewis Women's Health Physio - running AN classes etc.
020 8946 8561

[biscuitbrown]

I know exactly how you feel - I too had a horrific emergency c-section at C&W first time round. I agree with others - you need to get a full debrief, and don't bother with the perinatal services (basically a psychiatrist who deals with traumatised mothers after birth). I was referred to them and the woman I saw basically said, well you had a terrible time, I'm not surprised you are traumatised, I'm not sure there is anything I can do for you!! I felt so let down & actually emotionally violated having just gone through the entire thing with her in forensic detail (at her request) which left me very upset.

My personal experience was that no amount of talking through the event helped. I went for an elective c so I was in control, knew exactly what was going to happen & when, and I wasn't risking a repeat of the first time. It was a wonderful experience & I don't regret it for a second. I couldn't have gone through natural birth again. This good experience has entirely blanked out the previous one in my mind - I think that is the only way I was going to stop the flashbacks, nightmares etc.

Also there is a senior midwife at C&W called Mary Griffith, who deals with people who had a bad first birth. She is very reassuring & kind and is worth talking to if you are there. And the vbac midwife Emily Boenke is AMAZING & not pushy about options.

I really, really hope you resolve this, however you choose to, & have a positive experience this time. It can be done! Good luck xx

[clare74]

I didn't realise how traumatised I was by my first birth until I went to my first midwife appointment when pregnant with the second. She referred me to a brilliant 'counselling midwife' with whom I had several appointments - and could have had more if I felt I needed them. Together we went through the last experience and she helped pinpoint exactly what I was scared about so we could address those issues. She also helped me with a birth plan for this time round so that I felt much more in control.

My second child is now two months old and although the experience wasn't entirely straightforward (emergency c-section, lot of blood loss etc) there was a huge difference in how I felt about it. Because the birth plan included all contingencies, when it got to a tricky stage the midwife made sure she followed my plan. (I have to say, the midwife who was with me at the critical moment was a complete star!)

This was all at St Thomas's (both times), and I honestly couldn't have been happier with how they managed things. If you're going there, do PM me and I can give you more details of the staff involved etc.

As many people say, it is often better second time round, but you're do absolutely the right thing by preparing yourself mentally. I do wish you all the best.
xx