Help - once placid 4 yr old now biting and hitting!! Post Reply

[danijeanne]

My lovely little boy has just become so frustrated about everything at the moment! It is driving us all mad and is making everyone so upset and stressed. He used to be very placid but also very shy and unconfident in making new friends, not joining in at parties etc but that has changed recently which is great as he is more confident with people and I'm so happy about that however at the same time the biting, frustration happened. If he doesn't get his own way he bites. We have tried everything from tokens/stickers for days out, to removing toys and no computer, no treats and his sister still allowed them - again not fussed. We have tried time outs - he gets upset at the time but then does it again. I have tried ignoring it and praising good behaviour but when he bites his sister obviously he needs to be punished in some way.

My parents are staying with me and are also very disapproving and I just want them to see what a lovely boy he is. He is very kind and a loving boy just I know is frustrated but it can't carry on! He does have speech therapy as can't say a few sounds and i find him hard to understand at times but he enjoys it and always excited about going.

Just wondered whether anyone has experienced the same and what advice anyone can give me. I really am out of ideas!! Please though no bite him back comments as into opinion it isn't the right thing to do and I would never hurt my child.

Thank you

[Jetsettingbaby]

My little boy who is 3 and half has also started doing this. He also has problems with his speech which I understand can frustrate them. I have asked his teachers at school what to do as he was always shy and well behaved and would never hurt anyone and now I am scared to have play dates as he has started hitting and pushing. His teachers have said it is a his age, testosterone kicks in a bit more and also on your reaction. So for example obviously Iam horrified and give out to his straight away when he does something naughty but Iam giving him attention ok it's negative attention but Iam animated in the way that Iam cross. We have also just had a new baby so they mentioned this could be the cause for the need to get my attention. Has anything changed in your sons routine? If you try to simply not react ( which is so hard) a s just say no and that is it and place him on a naughty step for time out maybe this would work? Each child is different but do know you a great mum and every child goes through this phase no matter what anyone says. Good luck

[Martina86]

Hello mums,
it is clear to me that these children have some problem they can't tell you with words so they bite and have aggressive behaviour.
I taught the boy I look after to say "there is a problem" so we can sort it out together. He also couldn't say more than 2 words but his mum took him to the speech therapist and started to speak fluently after a few months. The s. therapist understood he had a problem with his hearing,caused by the fluid in his middle ear. That s why he couldn't speak because he couldn't hear the correct sound of words. I would just suggest to observe them (it will take some time to learn to do so) and you will realise why they are being aggressive. I just understood that behind every aggressive behaviour or crying because they don t want to go to school or anything else,there is always a good reason that we have to find out if they can't tell themselves.

[Toots-1]

Hi there - a friend's toddler had a similar problem - she took her daughter to Julia Findlay of Clapham Family Osteopath (http://claphamfamilyosteopath.co.uk/) and she was right as rain after just a couple of sessions.

I know Julia is away for a couple of weeks but do drop her an email (all contact details on the website)

good luck!