Man in playground with a laptop

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monaco
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Re: Man in playground with a laptop

Postby monaco » Tue Sep 17, 2013 10:39 pm

Before I had my daughter I would often seat alone in playgrounds because I enjoyed looking at little ones playing. And I wasn't broody, it's just the beauty of young life. Even now that i am a mum I would do it and I certainly will when I am an old lady.

Just to say that this man may have chosen this place for many reasons : being safe, because his wife and children were with him before and left him while he was absorbed in his work or because the noise of children around him help him concentrate.
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supergirl
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Re: Man in playground with a laptop

Postby supergirl » Tue Sep 17, 2013 10:52 pm

I second Northocoteluvvie and Monaco on this one. Not dodgy, I m sure there are plenty of explanation. My BIL works off Clapham North Side, it could have been him. He would cycle from his balham home to his work, the playground is on his way (as he cut short from where he lives, he pretty much cycle as the crow flies) so yes, stopping there making sure nobody snatch the lzptop makes a v plausible explanation

And anyway... If you were that worried you should have challenge him. I would. If domething look wrong to me, i would have sat next to him and told him nicely (as everybody is innocent till procen itherwise) that people were wondering and engage a conversation in which i would have spied his screen. But more importantly i would have gauge him and making aware that we have noticed. So if innocent no problem, if not innocent he is found out.
Not sure i explain myself v well. Sorry.

But i find calling the police a lot OTT.
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clapset
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Re: Man in playground with a laptop

Postby clapset » Thu Sep 19, 2013 11:23 pm

In the words of Shaun Ryder ... call the cops!

A society paralysed by fear

Weird
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csml
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Re: Man in playground with a laptop

Postby csml » Fri Sep 20, 2013 11:25 am

I've sat in a playground before without any children. It's just a nice environment to be in. I didn't notice any suspicious glares from mothers at the time (although perhaps they all called the police after I left).
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littlesleep
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Re: Man in playground with a laptop

Postby littlesleep » Mon Sep 23, 2013 9:02 am

Might be controversial but most playgrounds ay an adult must be accompanier by a child. I have seen police patrol approach and question a man at a childrens playground who looked like he was there by himself
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zaarin_2003
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Re: Man in playground with a laptop

Postby zaarin_2003 » Mon Sep 23, 2013 11:55 am

This is possibly the most depressing thing that I have ever read (OP).

Have we become so paranoid that we think it is necessary to warn other parents and even call the police in response to a man sitting doing absolutely nothing? Is it unreasonable to think he was enjoying the fresh air? That the park in question is the most convenient to him? That he was waiting for his wife and child?? That he simply likes sitting there???

As a father, I cringe at the sort of message this must have sent your child or children, if they are old enough to understand the sort of ridiculous, conspiratorial, scare-mongering gossip they might have overheard you spout in response to seeing one male human, sitting down, nearby. "Men are to be feared." they must have thought. Really? Do you really want your child growing up believing that? Do you actually know how incredibly rare it is for a child to be taken or abused by anyone other than someone they already know, or most likely, are related to?

By all means call the police if you spot someone acting strangely. But sitting and doing some work in a public place is not very strange and it is not made strange simply by the presence of children.

I would bet the Police did absolutely nothing to follow up your call, given you gave them no information suggesting any sort of crime was being or was about to be committed, but it would have been amusing to hear their conversation with the man if they did.

"Ello, ello. What are you doing here on this park bench?"
"Sitting down. Working."
"You're not a peaodophile are you?"
"No."
"Are you sure? Your laptop isn't a camera or child capture device in disguise is it... no.....ok then. Carry on."
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ErinLondon
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Re: Man in playground with a laptop

Postby ErinLondon » Mon Sep 23, 2013 2:31 pm

Hi, It is NOT strange or depressing to be concerned by some guy sitting in a fenced off children's playground alone without a child. It is actually a by-Law that an adult HAS to be accompanied by a child to be in a playground.
It is mainly there to protect older unaccompanied children from being targeted by PEDOPHILES , and if the parks police had seen this guy they would have automatically challenged him and asked him to leave if he did not have a legitimate reason to be there , like meeting his partner / child in there. It's shocking sad , but I'm afraid the law is there for very good reasons.
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NorthcoteDad
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Re: Man in playground with a laptop

Postby NorthcoteDad » Mon Sep 23, 2013 4:00 pm

You did the right thing to report it. If he is innocent, then he will not have a problem with even being asked by the police if he happen to be there the next time.

If he isn't then, everyone will be glad of the action taken.
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zaarin_2003
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Re: Man in playground with a laptop

Postby zaarin_2003 » Mon Sep 23, 2013 4:06 pm

ErinLondon wrote:Hi, It is NOT strange or depressing to be concerned by some guy sitting in a fenced off children's playground alone without a child. It is actually a by-Law that an adult HAS to be accompanied by a child to be in a playground. It is mainly there to protect older unaccompanied children from being targeted by PEDOPHILES...
I'm sorry, but you have made my point.

My point is that we apparently live in a society where some people (like you, but not a majority here I note) think it is not just odd or eccentric for a man to sit in a park on his own, but an offence so vile as to warrant Police questioning and for there to be actual rules to prevent it. And why? "...to protect older unaccompanied children from being targeted by PEDOPHILES (sic)".

I will explain why I find this sort of comment so depressing.

Firstly, I'm sure we can all agree that no parent would want to instill fear in a child unnecessarily. So, I think it is worth doing a little research to see whether or not there truly is a threat which is worth worrying about more than others.

Think about what a child learns from hearing their mum call the police or worrying about a stranger who, as far as the child can tell, is doing nothing actually threatening. Is it really worth acting in a way which teaches a child that 'everyone they don't know could be a danger'? There are 7.5 million kids in the UK under 10. 274 were abducted last year, which is tragic, but not actually that many (they are more likely to choke on a biscuit) and less than 10 actually came to any harm. Also, most of those 274 were actually taken temporarily as a product of a marital dispute. Of course, even one child coming to harm at the hands of a stranger (or anyone) is too many. But before deciding to instil a socially-unhealthy fear of anyone you don't know in your child, its worth comparing the figures above to the fact that over 1000 children are injured in road traffic accidents per month. Crossing the road is a far, far greater danger by orders of magnitude, yet it seems parents are more likely to think it is ok to allow their child to cross the road, than to play in a playground in the presence of a solitary 'stranger', who is probably simply just enjoying a sit down.

My point is NOT (I repeat, not) that we should not be wary of strangers or protective of our children. Of course we should. And I am not saying that bad people do not exist out there - of course they do. But let's think and react sensibly. How likely is it that the man on the laptop is a threat really? Calling the Police because of one odd person doing nothing is an overreaction. I personally think that it is wiser to not overreact due to frankly baseless fears which risk making our children worry about other people when it is so unlikely that anything of this nature will ever happen to them.

It is worth repeating that a child is many times more likely to be abused or abducted by a relative or someone they know well than by a stranger. (So much so, that I am deliberately being facetious with the following; but by the same logic as arguing for the need for by-laws to prevent people being alone in a playground, you could argue for by-laws to prevent parents being alone with their kids in a playground without someone else being there to watch them.(


(Note, you say the law is the law, but breaking a by-laws does not necessarily mean you are breaking an actual law, i.e. a crime. By-laws are 'rules', like do not run in a swimming pool, rather than laws).
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kcai
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Re: Man in playground with a laptop

Postby kcai » Mon Sep 23, 2013 5:59 pm

zaarin_2003 wrote: I will explain why I find this sort of comment so depressing.
Well said, Zaarin.

My initial thought was that the man had gone in there to be a bit safer from off-leash dogs.

Calling the police was overboard. That kind of reaction is why some men go out of their way to avoid helping a child in need. My husband feels the need to take the time to find some sort of official, for example, when he notices a lost child, instead of directly helping the child himself. Pretty sad, and a bit scary too if you think about the James Bulger situation.
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Pud1
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Re: Man in playground with a laptop

Postby Pud1 » Mon Sep 23, 2013 7:06 pm

I agree. What a sad state of affairs. The previous generation would not have given it a second thought. We have become too over cautious.
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dkm
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Re: Man in playground with a laptop

Postby dkm » Mon Sep 23, 2013 7:20 pm

Totally agree with Zaarin and Kcai...it is so true that people are too scared to help little children now...it's ridiculous.

The biggest danger to the little ones in playgrounds now is injurying themselves while their parents are on their phones and not looking ;)
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Jen66
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Re: Man in playground with a laptop

Postby Jen66 » Mon Sep 23, 2013 8:00 pm

Is there really a by-law stating lone adults can't enter playgrounds? I have never heard of that.
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zaarin_2003
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Re: Man in playground with a laptop

Postby zaarin_2003 » Mon Sep 23, 2013 10:06 pm

Jen66 wrote:Is there really a by-law stating lone adults can't enter playgrounds? I have never heard of that.
It depends on the council/area entirely. The thing about by-laws are, that they are not actually written in statute and so don't apply country wide or anything. Instead there is legislation which gives councils the ability to make its own by-laws which only apply locally. The point is they are still enforceable and breaking them in punishable by magistrates court with a fine of up to £2k.

I checked the Wandsworth council website:
http://www.wandsworth.gov.uk/downloads/ ... 0/bye-laws
and it says:

"No male person over the age of 14 years shall go or attempt to go into any part of any open space in contravention of any regulation of the council specified in a notice exhibited on such part reserving such part for the use of female persons and children under the age of 14 years old only."

In other words (interpreting the law is kind of my job), men are not allowed in an area which is marked as specifically for woman and under 14s. Presumably the park in question had a sign saying as much. Its worded really badly. I fail to see how a playground can be specifically for 'female persons and children...only'. What about dads?

I think its pathetic. I was in a playground opposite Latchmere Leisure centre the other day for about 10 mins without my sons, just me, listening to my ipod after a jog and sitting on the swings having a breather. There was a kid and his dad about, who paid me no mind. I actually quite like the swings. ;-) I don't remember seeing a sign, but think its grossly unfair that I might have been unwittingly breaking a by-law, written by some tragic paranoid who reads the Daily Mail too often.
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cheshirecat
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Re: Man in playground with a laptop

Postby cheshirecat » Tue Sep 24, 2013 8:35 am

I think the man being in the playground is not a major concern. Men and women often go and eat their lunch in our local playground.

I would say the OP was there when none of us were so we can't say what she did was wrong. If she felt threatened or had a feeling something was wrong then why bash her for acting on it?

I have had two occasions when I have informed the police about men in playgrounds . One when 6 men were sitting in the playground and watching the children and another occasion when one member of this group was videoing children on his phone.

For me personally if a man or woman is in the playground acting suspiciously I really wouldn't care about statistics and rights. I'll report it.

Common sense says that you should try to avoid all danger. Not ignore some because it is statistically less likely to occur.
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