Rude Mums Post Reply

[Hattie]

As someone who completely understands how annoying it is when cyclists bleat about inconsiderate motorists, yet feel it is perfectly acceptable to ride on the pavements, jump red light and cycle the wrong way down One Way streets, I was really saddened witnessing the behaviour of two mothers, who really should know better, at Waterloo Station yesterday. They were both well dressed, well spoken and seemingly well educated women of about 30 years of age. They decided, in their wisdom, to take two buggies onto a crowded escalator going down to the Jubilee Line from the main concourse of Waterloo Mainline Station where there are very clear, large RED signs indicating that this is not allowed. They positioned themselves in the middle of the escalator, teetering dangerously, both with babies little more than 2-3 weeks old inside the prams, blocking the entire transit for other commuters pouring off the platforms.

A female commuter, trying to walk down the left hand side of the escalator, clearly in a hurry, politely said to one of the mothers "You do know that you are not supposed to take your buggy on here and there are lifts back at the top for you, don't you?" to which one of the mothers, staring forward blankly without acknowledging her replied sarcastically - "Yes", and totally blanked her. So Female Commuter, clearly irked, said "So you are holding everyone else up and blocking the escalator .... why?" to which the mother responded ""I've got to feed by baby ... B****r OFF!" And before everyone on NVN starts jumping up and down about this, both babies were FAST asleep, not yelling for a feed!

The Female Commuter simply responded: "Yet another example of selfish mother syndrome". Then as an aside to me, standing behind her, "These London Yummy Mums have the attitude that because they have a baby in a buggy it gives them some kind of entitlement to behave like spoilt brats!"

I can't help feeling that had that same Female Commuter parked her child-free car in a Mother & Baby Space at a supermarket, not given up a place on a bus, blocked the buggy area on a commuter bus, not helped carry a buggy down stairs, omitted to hold a door open or in any other way impeded the trail blazed by other such Bodacaeic mothers she would have been berrated, sworn at and probably ripped to shreds publicly on this and other sites and certainly paraded as being selfish and inconsiderate.

It's swings and roundabouts isn't it? Partly due to the nature of my job, but more because I am polite and considerate, I am first in line to help mums with buggies when travelling but I did feel that these mums were horribly rude, not to mention short-sighted by taking the baby into such a potentially risky situation during peak commuter rush hour.

Surely, where provision is made for mums with buggies they should make use of it, secondly they should not blatantly ignore signs which forbid taking buggies down steep escalators and lastly, if they choose to ignore the former points, then they must take the hit and apologise when commuters, quite rightly, get angry with them.

For the record: the lifts were near the escalators, the mothers were neither in a hurry nor dashing for a train connection and they ambled off to a coffee shop together at the bottom of the escalator.

A Black Mark for those London Mums!

[papinian]

I'm sorry, but I think it was the female commuter in your story that is more at fault. Nobody should be in such a hurry that they can't wait to descend at the speed of the escalator. My norm is to sprint down like a cross between Usain Bolt and Michael Flatley, but if someone has a buggy or luggage etc. I am happy to wait.

There are lots of underground stations (including many on the Northern Line) that have no lift provision so the only way to get a child in a buggy up or down is to use the escalator. If it is acceptable there, I can't see that the danger is any greater/lesser in any other underground station where there is lift provision. You describe the Jubilee line escalator at Waterloo as "speed" but that's not right - all of the London underground escalators have the same gradient - none are steeper than others.

I have used lifts in many underground stations and sometimes they are a nightmare to use compared with an escalator. I don't know about Waterloo, but at St Pancras/King's Cross, to descend by lift involves three different lifts and, if you are getting the Northern Line, a lot of walking back and forth across the station footprint. Also, they are often not particularly well signposted and are often not working.

I would always use a lift if available, but I can understand why some parents with buggies would not.

Great adjective "Bodacaeic" - going to steal that one myself.

[jg75]

I'm not sure this case was completely clear cut. I totally sympathise with the commuter as I know what it's like being in a rush to get home and have tourists/kids/mums with buggies ambling around/blocking the way. On the other hand, I also know how difficult it is to travel with babies and children and I can imagine the mums felt personally affronted and just behaved defensively.

BUT: I do agree with the OP that there is something about some mums that is overly selfish. A sense of entitlement that makes them think that they can behave however they like just because they have small babies with them. Even towards other mums with small babies. But is this related to their motherhood or perhaps they are just purely selfish people that happen to be mums too and we pay more attention to them because they are mums? Who knows?!

[supergirl]

There is no way except maybe at Covent Garden and CJ i would have taken the lift with my buggy. As Papinian said they either dont work or are not clearly sign posted. I have just discovered thanks ti you OP that there are lifts at Waterloo to the jubilee line. I ve never seen/look for them (because i never assumed there would be some maybe!).

During rush hour there is a train every minute or 2. The woman could have waited. The ladies with buggies could have said "sorry to hold you up wr didnt see them/didnt work".

No need for a thread i think. But yes some mums/dads/people are selfish and entitled but thats going in circle because we all know that, dont we?

[mommyg]

Whilst I agree that there is little excuse for a mom to be rude - in particular when unprovoked such as in your example, I do disagree with the rest of your post.

Escalators in tube stations do not have a buggy ban policy. I've not come across many that have a no buggy sign on them. Most stations don't have lifts anyway. If you go to any shopping centre, every escalator will be clearly marked with no buggy signs though and moms are expected to take the lift.

If you've been on a escalator with a buggy, you'll know that the buggy has to be balanced very carefully to avoid it rolling down the escalator. Its not very tricky doing this once you've practiced once or twice, but pushy commuters actually make a fairly safe manoeuvre very dangerous!! I think most moms aim to get the buggy as close to the side as possible, so that there is room to pass, however this is not always possible. You can't adjust the position of the buggy once you're on.

Besides buggies on escalators, I'm a little baffled by your comments about cyclists. Speaking as the wife of a law abiding cyclist who has been knocked off this bike and unconscious by a motorist, I think it's really unnecessary to generalise about the behaviour of some cyclists when the majority follow the rules of the road. Every group of people whether cyclists, motorists, mothers, commuters etc etc will have bad apples - you'll find the majority are considerate and mindful of others....

[Hattie]

Mommyg: with all due respect, you are mistaken - there is a large sign indicating that buggies are NOT allowed on the escalator at this station - that was my point - and if you re-read my post, I did say it was the escalator leading down from a mainline station (Waterloo) rather than in the tube station. I have no idea what the regulations are for buggies on the tube escalator system. I generally only travel to stations with lifts or staff to help me with when I am out with my charges - simply because I would not want to take that risk with a baby.

I am not going to go off topic about cyclist/motorist issues, and agree that there are good and bad apples in all walks of life and Lord knows that would be a heated thread indeed!

My reference to cyclists was simply to highlight the similarity: SOME cyclist are disrespectful of rules of the road yet get grumpy with motorists when it suits them: SOME Motorists are less than considerate towards cyclists but drive equally badly. I am both a cyclist and a motorist.

The point being that SOME mothers get angry when other people ignore signs saying "Mother & Baby Only" yet equally "bad apple" mothers seem to think that it is OK to ignore the NO BUGGY sign when or if it suits them. There is nothing wrong with the lifts, which are very accessible and very clearly signposted at Waterloo Station so I did feel that the female commuter had a valid point to make and there was absolutely no call for the mother to be as rude and abusive as she chose to be. Isn't it all about good manners and common courtesy?

[Hattie]

Papinan: I didn't say speed escalator. If you meant to type steep, then yes ... it is steep - all escalators are steep. That was a rather un-necessary bit of hair splitting don't you think?

[clapset]

can a tramolator be classed as an escalator because they're not all that steep. Take the one on Gladiators that looks hard work but it's not really steep

[zaza107]

I kind of agree that buggies and escalators don't go well together, not least because of the potential danger but also because the escalators are generally narrow and, whether we mums and dads and carers like it or not, some people will be in a hurry and not be pleased by the delay. I always thought the escalators were too tricky for the buggy so asked the tube staff or another passenger to take the buggy on the escalator while I took the baby. I never had a problem finding someone quickly. It's an option, anyway, and sometimes gets the most frazzled commuter to smile...

[KatherineHepburn]

There's a lift to the Jubilee line? When did that arrive???

[ellesmum]

The lift has been there for at least 5 years! When you go through the gate at the McDonald's entrance to the Jubilee Line, instead of going straight on to the escalators (where the elephant is!), go around to the left of the escalators and it's there. However, if I was travelling alone, with or without a child in a pushchair, I would take my chances with the escalators. The lifts are a bit isolated and I personally feel a bit safer being out amongst the commuters. A mum with a baby in a pushchair is quite vulnerable and could be targeted by someone with bad intentions in a quiet lift. Would anyone seriously want a new mum to risk having to protect her handbag or her child in order to get down the stairs 10 seconds quicker?

[Katskii1]

Maybe the commuter woman was rushing down the stairs to deal with a personal emergency/ maybe her own baby was ill at home - who knows!
Being on the escalator isn't particularly wrong/ being there in rush hour is crazy but isn't against the law but being rude is never acceptable and yes there is a lot of self-entitlement of mums that goes around as we see every day of our lives in NV
Personally, after seeing a baby FALL OUT of its pram on an escalator I avoid at all costs even if it means walking 1hr home a great chance walk all that self-entitlement out of myself

[Hattie]

Hmm. It seems the point of my original post has become rather lost in translation - it is not me being judgemental about mothers travelling at peak times, it is not about using a buggy on an escalator on the tube, it is not about whether you should choose between lift or escalators - it was to highlight that these two mums were aware that they were not allowed to use the escalator at this place, chose to do so and then reacted extremely rudely to a passenger who, as a result, was unable to move freely down the escalator, blocking everyone else who wished to walk down behind her. Who are we to say that she should not be in a hurry - isn't that in itself being judgemental?

MY original post was about a mother being unnecessarily rude to a commuting member of the public when both she and her friend were, without question, doing something she should not have been doing - i.e.. travelling on that escalator at a mainline station, exacerbated by the fact that she chose to do so during very busy rush hours, when there was clearly a sign saying that this is not allowed.

I fully appreciate how difficult it is commuting in London but have managed to get around town with babies in buggies for 18 years using buses, trams, trains and the tube without ever having anyone shout at me. Maybe I have been super-lucky, but whichever form of transport I have had to take with any of my babies, the drivers/staff etc have been kind and helpful to me.

I find that when getting a bus, if I hail the bus and point very obviously at the buggy as they approach, they usually pull further in to the curb, I always ask if I can pop the buggy on at the back door (where possible) and ask for the driver to hold on for a second so that I can apply a brake and tap my Oyster card, returning to steady the buggy before he drives off. Tube station staff have always been helpful where there are stairs and members of the public equally courteous.

So - my OP was not a "rant" - I don't really do ranting, especially not on here - you''re a positively terrifying group! However, it was a bit of a general finger-wag at a parent behaving badly. I do read plenty of rants from mothers ON here about other people doing things that get mums riled up (not allowing mum with child to use a loo in a cafe where they are not eating/drinking, parking in M&B spaces at supermarkets, being rude in shops, poor service, surly bus drivers etc) so it's not entirely a rant-free zone is it!

[izzye789]

i agree with hatti only careless idiots would take buggys with babies down escallaters (think i v spelt it wrong) some times the swivel wheels turn and you can topple over they just werent thinking of there babies stupid mums just for the sake of a coffee.just has bad has the cyclest they have no sense they are all colour blind they think the red light means go all boris johnson idiots

[Orangetree]

Your point is not lost Hattie but agree that on this forum you will get a public flogging for daring to say a word against the entitled mummy brigade.
Agree that they can ride any escalator they like whenever they like (without or without cherub) but to inconvenience others and then get snotty about it is unacceptable and "unclassy" (most are unclassy!)
No different to the yummies blocking the entire pavement whilst they see to cherub, chat with fellow yums and expect all others to pander round them!

.....fully expecting the brigade flogging shortly!