Sister in law has asked if my teenage niece can lodge with us

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karen23
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Re: Sister in law has asked if my teenage niece can lodge with us

Postby karen23 » Mon Jul 08, 2019 7:31 pm

I think it's a great idea.  You say you get on with your niece and she's bound to behave better for you than her parents! Make clear expectations about going out etc from the start and you should be able to get some free babysitting too!  We have our niece staying with us and we love it. She sets a good example to her younger cousins and having her around makes everyone behave that bit better! My sister in law is so grateful and we know we've made it possible for her to do something she'd otherwise never have been able to do - go for it!
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Londontownlady
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Re: Sister in law has asked if my teenage niece can lodge with us

Postby Londontownlady » Mon Jul 15, 2019 7:55 am

This is such a big ask and commitment. Slightly unfair too considering you have two you kids to look after yourself. Life must be pretty busy for you as it is, without the Additional responsibility of having to look after a teenager. There is so much to think of, the other posts highlighted just some of the points you need to discuss before agreeing. And Yes of course family has to help, there has to be some sort of scale on what is acceptable though. I also believe that if you do end up accepting, there is not going back unless your niece does something quite bad.
You will not physically allow yourself to end her studies because she keeps being late home or is on her phone at all hours, you will be classed as petty/controlling. My parents took my cousin in because she wanted to complete a summer course, she was 21 and I was 17. I thought it was a great idea as I got on really well with her, my parents didn’t even think about it twice as she used to stay with us some weekends anyway and has always been so nice and sweet. Long story short, she ended falling for her teacher (who was himself only 22), broke up with her bf. Which I think it’s pretty normal at that age but in this case my cousin’s family and her ex’s family were really long time friends and this break up resulted in that friendship ending suddenly. Of course my mum was then blamed for the ‘affair’ as she should have kept a closer eye on her.
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