dealing with another parent whose child is autistic Locked

[klw]

To the father involved in this altercation, what an amazing post to remind us all to step back and appreciate other peoples circumstances. I think so many of us are so quick to judge other parents and their children without any understanding of the background.

To the OP, I just truly hope that you are never in the situation where people rush to judge your children. We all love our kids and I'm sorry that your child was hurt in this accident, but I am truly shocked that you shouted at this little boy and his dad when the situation was explained.

[SusieL]

Riccione- I am so so sorry that you had to experience this. I can only imagine how hard yours and your family's journey is- although you sound like someone well equipped to deal with it. I can only hope that the universal outrage at this individual's attitude makes some small amends for this episode.

[snowpea]

I fully agree with the last two comments. No one should shout in a child's face. Horrible . I hope that the op re

[Mumbly]

You sound like an amazing man and father...what a horrible experience for you. I'm glad you've had the chance to respond although I'm sure you'd rather forget the whole thing.
There are lots of good people in the world but we're always reminded of the people who seem to have no understanding or compassion for anyone else.....
perhaps this man will think again after reading your reply....here's hoping

[Pud1]

Riccione - I hope that you can be somewhat reassured by the outpouring of utter disgust at this person's behaviour both in the playground, and on this forum. Good luck to you and your family.

[kiwimummy]

thanks to the father of the older child for posting and clearing this up.

i'm another poster horrified by the op's suggestion of segregating children. what a hideous thing to say.

reality check - accidents do happen on the playground or anywhere children play together. it's part of life. i was very precious about my first child and it's taken me some time to realise that when bigger children are playing, they often don't realise there are smaller children who might get knocked over. i realise it now as i've got one 4 year old and a smaller one!

my two have had a few bumps and bruises at the same playground. but to follow a child and shout at him or his parent? you're rather lucky the father involved here had such self control, as i would have been less civil to you in similar circumstances.

[supermummy]

I think previous posters have pretty much said what needs to be said but I couldn't let this one go as 1. I happen to know the autistic boy and his parents (or I would have suspected the original post could not be genuine) 2. I have my own child with physical disabilities and am learning to deal with the whole issue of people staring and trying to raise a child as 'normally' as possible.

So, talking about 'setting a good example'. What kind of example are you setting your kids with such a nasty outburst and your victorian views on autistic children? Perhaps I should keep my son conveniently hidden away in case his physical abnormalities freak out another child??

Please keep your vindictive opinions to yourself. You ask for suggestions, how about you go and spend a day with a group of autistic children?

[Chanchipolli]

Wow - two sides to every story! It doesn't seem possible that this is two peoples account of the same incident.

[Batterseamummy]

Riccione- what a dignified and restrained response (both on here and in the playground) you have displayed to this utterly ridiculous woman and her horrid husband. I could not have been nearly as patient and controlled as you were.

I truly feel very, very sorry for her son. What hope does he have with parents like that? They are the epitome of the playground bullies and I hope my children never have the misfortune to come into contact with them in the future.

[Batterseamummy]

And she may not like Bush but I think the two of them have a lot more in common than she would ever care to admit!

[Marta76]

Wow I am not gonna react on you behaving and rasiatic reactions BUT as you do have not even 2 years old child you should be all the time with him! If you would be next to him this accident wouldn't probably happen right? Also two adults and one child only.....Can't really understand...you should be shame and next time before you gonna put your unger here just think.

[zaza107]

Riccione, I'd be very happy for my daughter to play with all your children anytime.

To the original poster, all I can do is say "wow I'm unimpressed".

[Bubs]

Riccione, I have tears in my eyes reading your post. Dignified does not even cover it.

Our niece, the same age as our daughter is autistic and I cannot even begin to imagine what I would do if a stranger started shouting at her in this type of situation. Yes, she can be rough, and yes we try and reprimand her (gently) but this is usually away from the situation. My niece has hurt my own children on occasion so I see both sides, and it's a difficult thing to watch - hard to see my children get hurt, but also hard to see my niece out of control of her actions, through no fault of her own, and upset by it. Being balled out by a stranger would terrify her.

All I've seen from my sister-in-law is the need to parent slightly differently, you learn techniques appropriate to your child. The lady who cannot realise this is simply ignorant, and unfeeling.

As for the segregation idea. Just no words for that. I'm appalled.

And the comment that she's not proud of. Wow. I think I may have been tempted to push her face into the wooden train for that one, and I'm 'not even autistic'. You are a better man than me, and certainly than her.

[Bubs]

And she may not like Bush but I think the two of them have a lot more in common than she would ever care to admit!

Hahahaha !

[BeautyTherapistMummy]

Very interesting!

Surprising that the father found the post and replied. Well done!

I think we all need to understand each others views I.e if that was my child hurt I'd also be upset but would respectfully approach the parent and express my upset. No need to rant as it only threatens the child and causes more drama because the other parent then gets upset.

In this case the father did well to also remain calm.

I know autism is a tricky illness and highly challenging especially at such a young age where all children can be a handful anyway.

have also found autistic children can in some cases (no case is the same) be more intelligent then we may perceive so it is also good practice to try and teach them when they are wrong and to say sorry and gradually how other people feel etc. Simply because if not as the child grows they will learn to use the autism as a cover up for their behaviour which often happens as they hear adults repetitively do the same. ( Im no specialist but have autistic family members and have worked closely with an autistic family).

Every experience is for learning, I guess both parties involved and even us readers may have learned something.

All the best xx