Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny Post Reply

[nannypj]

I'm a nanny and have just read all the posts on this topic and while it's upsetting to hear that children have been shouted at I get the feeling that you all want to lynch all nannies. Everyone has a horror story, try asking a few nannies about some of the families they work for, my guys for instance wouldn't hesitate to smack their children and as a nanny I find this unacceptable and unnecessary.
As a parent you'd like to know that your child is safe at all times those times include standing on a bench, a trip to A&E wouldn't go down to well with any parent. Also if you employ someone from a different culture then you have accept that they may have different ways of doing things.
It is a very hard job living up to parents expectations when they don't set the same standerds for themselves, I personally don't think a nanny who sits in starbucks all day is worth the wage she takes home, but there are times when for everyones sanity a break and is needed.
Please before start with the nannycams and spy service around the northcote road consider that the majority of us are honest hardworking girls who make it possible for you to go out and have your careers.

[happynanny]

have to say I think its unforgiveable behaviour! I've been a nanny for over 20 years and only ever shouted at a child once, when he was running across a courtyard and I knew there was a 6 ft drop the other side.
I currently look after 11 month old twins who are just crawling (generally at very high speed in opposite directions ). They're busy and need my constant attention but that's what I do: its my job and I would never shout at them. I never make or take calls when I'm working and have my phone on silent at all times. The only time I don't is if one (or both are sick) and they're parents may check in.
It makes me really cross when people who aren't up to the job give those of us that work really hard and enjoy it a bad name.
From my experienece though people tend to notice twins so I'm sure you'll be able to track them down. I know the people I work for often bump into people at the weeknds who stop to speak to "my" twins as they recognise them from being with me all week.

[Pauapattie]

I'm with you nannypj! Well said!!

[ordinarygirl09]

I have to agree, parents have a right to know if there child is being verbally abused or neglected. We all have stressful days but nannies are paid to be professional and cope, if they can't they should do something else.

I'm a teacher who at any time can have up to 30 children, screaming at them or threatening is not an option and does not make a child thrive.

I attend Tumbletots with my daughter, there is a nanny(phillipino maybe?) who comes with a little blonde boy about 18months. She is constantly moaning or shouting at him or he is strapped in his pram while she is texting on her mobile. He looks thoroughly miserable and I don't know how long I can bite my tongue....

[kiwiteacher]

Hi, i'm a teacher who is nannying over here and I have to say that safety is a given we're all concerned about it.

That said I don't feel the need to shout at the 3 children I look after but tone of voice is very important when dealing with children. They respond very well to it and they know where they stand if I alter my voice. I don't agree with shouting at children but the cultural aspect could make a difference. That said if you are a nanny for 20 years i'm not so sure that you can say you've shouted only once-does that make you human, because at the end of the day we all are.
In my experience as a teacher respect comes natuarally, but as a nanny you work damned hard to earn every ounce of respect you gain not only from the children but the parents and their peers as well, and as nannypj said, we work damned hard to give most parents the oppoprunity to go and have the career they wish to have.

[nannypj]

Thank you for agreeing with me, am so on the side of a good nanny.

I also agree with comments left by kiwiteacher, we should remember that children have rights but also we should remember that we have an obligation to children to do our best by them, sometimes we worry too much about upsettting peoples feeelings because it's the politically corrorct thing to do and we forget who the adult is and who the child is, we need to remind the child it is still a child and we are providing guidence, and they have to trust that we have their best interest at heart.

I'm tired of this nonsense now, please parents find someone or something else to **** about

[Francesca]

Hey I think most of us have started the trend with nice comments about our own nannies. I LOVE my nanny - I do not know what I would do without her and I totally confident that she looks after my children brilliantly. Having said that if there are nannies out there that are not behaving appropriately with their kids - most parents would want to know??

Kiwiteacher - please do not assume that you are giving me the "opportunity to go and have a carreer I wish to have". This makes me SOOOOOOO cross. If I had the financial opportunity to stay at home with my gorgeous kids I would. Some of us sadly have to go back to work and its not a choice.

[kiwiteacher]

Please don't take this the wrong way but we all have decisions we have to make in life, going back to work is one of them. If you really wanted to stay at home and play mum to your child maybe you could consider a slightly cheaper area to live in. At the end of the day we all have to make decisions that work best for ourselves, so please don't tell me your mortgage is more important than you children. Your postcode is not the be all and end all.

It also makes me cross that parents resent a nanny for having good times with the children while mum is hard at work-we're all hard at work, but a nanny gets a fraction of the salery compared to the salery of a mum. Again as a teacher I got so much respect both from parents and children, but as a nanny i'm not getting it form anywhere apart from other nannies, it's wrong, we do such a valuable service.

[EHMorris]

There are hundreds of nannies working in the area, the vast majority are clearly doing a great job with kindness and care. I however would be grateful to know if this was not the case. I don't see why this should become a debate about people choosing to stay at home and "play" mum or not. In fact I find the use of the term "playing" mum quite inappropriate.

I hope in both cases mentioned here the parents are found and notified - for the sake of the children involved, not because I wish to start some sort of nanny and au pair spy operation/vendetta in the area!

[Francesca]

Kiwiteacher. I debated on whether I should even dignify your frankly insulting and ridiculous
e mail with a response.

How DARE you make assumptions about where I live and my circumstances?

I DO NOT resent my nanny at all and have never done. I am glad that my kids love her and have a lovely
time with her. Sure - I would rather be at home with my kids, but if I can't I am glad that they
are in the care of a person I trust and I know will be lovely with them them (and thankfully not with your
attitude).

Anyway as the previous post pointed out this is not a debate on whether mothers should go
back to work so this is all from me.

[secondtimer]

Great thread.. it's certainly evoked some emotions! As a full time mum who attends lots of local groups its making me seriously consider starting my own spy service!

On a serious note, I think I've seen the nanny with the little blonde boy - I'll pay more attention next time I see her. I recently saw my neighbours babysitter invite a man into their house shortly after they had gone out for the night and whilst I felt like a busybody, I felt that I would want to know and therefore told her. Fortuntately, the babysitter had in fact gotten permission so it was a false alarm, but even so, our children are our most precious charges and I'm always reassured when I hear a friend say that they've seen my son out having a good time with a babysitter or even with grandparents!

I dont think good nannies/childminders feel threatened by this type of thing as its always a compliment to get feedback that you are doing a good job.

[Suslik]

I am glad i started the thread, lots of serious thought here. I have not found the parents of those girls though, so at the end of the day seems that my 'nanny spying' did not work.

I do have a nanny, she loves my kids and i would not wish for a better carer than her.

[AbbevilleMummy]

I realise that this is not the point of the thread, but I just wanted to respond to KiwiTeacher regarding her statement that a nanny earns a fraction of a salaried mum.

I do not know what the average earnings of a working mum are in this area (maybe KiwiTeacher can shed some light on that for us?!) but I do know what the avaerage earnings for nannies are:

I typical nanny in this area can demand £11ph net. As nannies will only usually negotiate their salary on a net basis, it is up to the working mum to pay her tax and national insurance which means that I think a lot of nannies have no idea how much it actually costs to employ them and therefore what their gross salary is.

A nanny on £11 per hour net, will take home around £29,000 per year, which is a gross salary of approximately £39,000 per year (far from measely considering the average UK salary is c£23,000).

As a working mum must pay this £39,000 out of her own net salary, she must earn a minimum gross salary of approximately £62,000 per year just to pay the nanny, before she has any money left for herself / household.

Finally, I could rant further about KiwiTeachers other comments regarding 'choices' and 'opportunities', but I shall bite my tounge!

[zanzibar2]

Did anyone manage to contact the children's parents in the end?