Dying cancer patient refused her morphine, laughed at and then treated appallingly Post Reply

[LP73]

Firstly, I am so very sorry for your loss and for the treatment that both your wife and yourself has received. This is disgusting and I cannot understand how this has taken so long to investigate.
I would go ahead with the media and if you would like a name of someone that you can really trust I can put you in touch with Kathryn Knight who Is one of the most honest, sympathetic journalists that you could meet, she is also a local mum.

Whatever you decide it has to be right for you. Also have you spoken to a solicitor about this?

[antin34]

I'm so sorry for your loss and the treatment she received.

Your wife was lucky she had a loving husband by her side, but I worry about all the elderly patients on the first ward you spoke of who didn't have someone to speak up for them. What was happening to them? This is why you have done the right thing in complaining to make sure this treatment is stopped.

I have worked in the NHS for over 10 years, working for many trusts over that time. I have also been a patient of the NHS and whilst I have never found fault with the doctors I'm afraid I have had some awful experiences with nursing staff, as well as some excellent care.

I just wanted to give you a little bit of insight into what I've experienced working in hospitals. They are fundamentally driven by budgets (especially foundation trusts) and so the minute you say you aren't interested in pursuing financial gain from your complaint, it will inevitably drop down the list. I understand than most people don't want to turn our society into a litigious society like we see in the states but unfortunately managers aren't really scared of joe bloggs on the street. They are scared of lawyers and large sums of money. I'm definitely not saying you should sue as this will also be very stressful / expensive etc but just trying to explain why you haven't got the results you should have.

All foundation trust hospitals are regulated by Monitor and the CQC (care quality commission) are in charge of inspecting them - a bit like Ofsted for schools. It's important that you make both these organisations aware of your complaint and the fact that you don't feel it has been handled correctly. I'm assuming you have also been in touch with PALS. Foundation trust hospitals also have a board of governors (mixture of employees, patient reps, members of the public etc). A list of these has to be published on their website. I would write to each one individually. I would also echo what a previous person wrote about writing to your local MP. The press may or may not pick up on your story and once it's in the press there's no going back so I would think very carefully about what you want to get out of it. Make sure when you complain you not only write what your experience was but what outcome you would like to see from each part of your complaint. e.g. I would like X nurse to face some disciplinary action and see evidence of that.

On a personal level I made lots of complaints whilst I was patient in the NHS (nightmare patient!) because I was pretty horrified by such simple things like treating someone with a little bit of dignity or politeness - and often these were on behalf of elderly patients - I was shocked at how badly they were treated. However, I am now (largely) cured after some life altering surgery and have now decided to put the past behind me and move on with my life. I'm no longer working in the NHS and I'm so much happier. Don't let this dysfunctional organisation suck your life away, I'm sure your wife would be distraught if she thought you were suffering. You need to feel closure but it's important that you're clear on what you actually want to get out of going to the press before you do it otherwise I fear you will never be satisfied. Also, turning your experiences into something more positive, raising money for Macmillan nurses (who are amazing and your wife should have been referred to them even as an inpatient) to provide additional training and support to the other general ward nurses???

Good luck, wish you well with whatever you decide.

[BetteDavisEyes]

I was hugely shocked and saddened by your post. I agree with antin34 who points out that hospital CEOs and Trusts tend to focus their energies on complainants who aren't looking for money. I would speak to Leigh Day, who are a law firm who specialise in medical negligence. They could advise you on the best route to take, and what you might be able to achieve. For example, as well as taking the appropriate action re the staff concerned, it might be that a case could get the rules re A&E admission to oncology changed, so that future patients like your wife might not need to be admitted through that route. If they advise litigation, and you are comfortable with that, you could donate funds to Macmillan.

Your wife looks like a wonderful woman, and action you take will be a tribute to her. It sounds like she was lucky to have you there for her. Try not to berate yourself for what you feel you should have challenged or done differently. You quite reasonably expected the hospital staff to act professionally at all times.

[ARO]

I'm sorry to read the appalling ways your wife and you had to endure during the last days of her life. It makes me sick to my stomach to think there is such lack of humanity in some people...
Please, please go to the media, it may hopefully prevent someone else's suffering.

Most heartfelt sympathies.

[Herculesmum]

What a horrible situation. I'd be keen to know the hospital.

I give the following advice conscious that you are now 18 months on from your wife's passing and I suspect having replaced the grieving process with this.

I think, if you want to "go public" then do so. You have nothing to lose and I think you will always be holding on to this resentment if you don't. If you do go down this route though you need to be aware that it may not lead to anything at all and at that point, for your own sake you will just have to accept that and move on.

Your wife's treatment was appalling. But in the very many months before this experience, she had the care of very caring professionals and she had a good life despite her diagnosis. I don't think you should let the experiences of her last week colour your memories of her forever.

From the outside looking in, my advice would be to go public if you want, and otherwise focus on all those who did good. So rarely do those who do well in the NHS or elsewhere get the recognition they deserve.Start a charity, or do charity work for Macmillon. I believe they have volunteers who sit on wards with those going through what your wife did. Your wife was so lucky to have you so dedicated to her, but others aren't. I think by helping others, you will continue your wife's legacy and hopefully it will help heal you too.

I really do hope you can move on from this and I'm 100% certain your wife would want for you to be happy.

[chima]

Hi, I completely understand how let down and saddened you are with some of the care you received. I had a similar experience with my terminally ill mother several years ago. My mum had lung cancer with secondary brain and bone mets. Towards the end of her life she was admitted to a medical ward and the care was shocking. We were scared to leave her. She was left without her morphine and in complete angony. The nurse said that it was because my mum wouldnt swallow her tablets. I asked if i could try and give the tablets and yep they were taken straight away but 3 hrs too late. Eventually they set up a morphine pump but when this ran out my mum would have to wait for ages to get it up and running again. Suffering with hideous pain inbetween. The matress was also an issue. I asked to see the assessment they made and half of it was wrong. They then got the proper matress. A locum doctor suggested a cvp line as they had trouble siting a standard cannula . I declined this and asked for an aneasthetist to attempt cannulation which was successful first time (why this wasn't thought of baffles me). A nurse said that my mum's pain was in her head! In the end we went against the consultants advice and demanded my mum be sent to the hospice she was fimiliar with. She died a week later but the care she received there by people whom knew her, was just wonderful.

The whole experience was so traumatic and still winds me up thinking about it. I had all the hospital notes photocopied with a view to complaining but we lost the written notes we took whilst In the hospital so didn't have names and our dates and times of events. I had also just given birth so found it hard to open up the whole trauma.
Now i wish I had written in. However I'm not sure any change would have come of it.

I think you are right to follow this up and i admire your strength of will to see justice prevail. You don't want the same uncaring people to negatively affect other people in the same way they affected your brave and beautiful wife. It is so frustrating for you having to fight the system though and try and break through the layers of beaurocracy in the NHS. Changes can happen through people coming out and sharing their experiences in the public domain so the press may be your final option.

The NHS is such a fabulous system but there are a few individuals who cause these terrible situations and they need to go and work else where, away from people.

[Scorpio33]

reading your story is heartbreaking I am so sorry for your loss. I think you need to take the time you need to grieve but I think when you are ready you should consider taking your story to the media not only for closure and to get the trust concerned to admit their systemic failures but also in memory of your lovely wife to ensure this catalogue of events never happens again. Too often things are swept under the carpet and people need to raise issues when they arise so these awful incidents can be investigated and staff concerned dealt with appropriately instead of staff getting away with treated people in appalling ways. My heart goes out to you and your family but you have the power in her memory to ensure this doesn't happen to any other families xx

[atbattersea]

Given the length of time that has passed since your wife's death I think it is unlikely that the media will show a great deal of interest. This is because they are very focused on current events, rather than those that occurred some time ago. You may be lucky and find someone writing about a number of cases in an extended feature, where your experience adds something to the overall narrative. If you are going down this route try the local/London media first, if you get a bite or two try the national outlets.

However, you should definitely contact your MP and make a complain to them. You should also consider the legal route. The point of taking legal action on issues like this is not necessarily to get compensation, but to make those responsible take action to try to ensure that these things do not happen in the future. Also, if individual staff members can be disciplined they can either be ejected from the service, or given training to improve. Even if someone gets some minor black mark on their record that may be an achievement, because it will make them think twice in the future, or may result, in combination with other events, with them losing their right to practise.

As someone else wrote, making formal complaint may result in changes to practise, and this in itself may be an achievement. Don't worry about gaining financial compensation - this is what focuses minds! If you do not want the money offered then find a charity deserving of that input, but make sure to make them pay!

[scottish lady]

I am afraid I disagree with those who say don't go to the media.

A real achievement would be the naming and shaming of this hospital so that they would HAVE to improve. You may not get the answers to all your questions but you may get complete recognition that your wife was appallingly treated in the final days of her life. UK hospitals (not all) are recognised for very poor end-of-life treatment and unless relatives bring this into the open it will continue. Some hospitals are excellent and are subject to the same budgetary constraints but manage infinitely superior care.

My father, who had advanced melanoma, was told off and handled very roughly (not in our presence) by a male nurse because he soiled his bed after contracting norovirus. He was due to be transferred to the hospice but of course having this infection made this impossible. He was in the final five days of his life.

This was six years ago and I regret to this day not going through the channels to complain about this and other issues regarding his care. But we were overwhelmed with grief and it is far too late now.

One cannot read your story and be appalled and deeply moved in equal measure. Sending very best wishes that you get some sort of closure and a big virtual hug.

[South London Joiner]

Once again thanks for all your responses, they have giving me strength to carry on at a time when the hospital had begun to grind me down and make me doubt myself.

[sarahsarah]

This is terrible I can't believe it! Outrageous!

[juliantenniscoach]

Please accept my condolences for your loss. I've had cancer twice and aside of the small(!) matter of being misdiagnosed twice, my experiences of the staff and care were excellent. My mother also died of a terminal cancer and again her care was outstanding. I'm sorry your wife's wasn't the same.

I think you should take the matter up via all available channels including the local M.P. If this is an institutional problem within that hospital it needs to be rooted out at the earliest opportunity.

I wish you well.

[South London Joiner]

Once again thanks for all your kind responses. I have decided I am going to approach the media with this.
I would still welcome any further comments,

[South London Joiner]

Once again thanks for all your kind responses. I have decided I am going to approach the media with this.
I would still welcome any further comments,

[South London Joiner]

Once again thanks for all your kind responses. I have decided I am going to approach the media with this.
I would still welcome any further comments,