this is why we send our children private Post Reply

[clapset]

Good decision

Man with no name by the way - Clint Eastwood. The good the bad and the ugly.

[Sw17mamma17]

Thanks
I'm known for my excellent decisions!

[metoo]

I suspect this should be a new thread but I feel we should be looking at the terrible pressures facing teenagers these days and in particular the 'terrible' attitude they have towards sexual activities.
This girl was so young to be indulging in such sexual acts (that's not a judgement - just naive shock on my part). Things have changed so much since I was a teenager. My friend is a counsellor and she despairs about the things girls are asked to do by their 'boyfriends' (always internet ****** related) and their complete lack of self-respect. Infact the girls' definitions of respect is so far removed from what my friend tries to instill. Similarly kids sending pictures of themselves over social media and not considering the consequences. I feel panicked My kids aren't teens yet but it will come sooner than I'm ready!

[waitingforgodot]

hear, hear, metoo...

[PrivateSchools]

Best this doesn't happen at Eton

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... ldren.html

Sorry, couldn't resist that.

[Sw17mamma17]

No but they do have a rehab programme (couldn't resist either)

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/educa ... 19920.html

[Camille]

Unbelievable PrivateSchools

I would venture to suggest that bullying and particularly sexual abuse (usually by the "privately educated" masters...) is more prevalent amongst boarders at private boys schools than anywhere else. A quiet chat with your friend's husbands will almost certainly lead you to the same conclusion.

It was rife at my all girls grammar too for that matter though thankfully I escaped.

The case you mention is truly tragic but you are way out there on this one.

[kfk101]

Hello,

Thanks for an interesting and pretty friendly debate.

I don't think this awful tragedy adds much to a debate about private or state schooling. I have worked in Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services for some time and can say that (although I haven't collated data on this) there seems to be a pretty balanced split between referrals of children from the state and private sector. They often present with different issues but there are difficulties nonetheless. I haven't noticed that the private sector deal any better with mental health issues or bullying than state schools. Generally where a child is having significant problems referrals are made to the NHS. I think most practitioners would agree that the CAMHS care for children is more comprehensive than seeking an individual private therapist.

My point I guess is that private schools may have more intensive supervision and more pastoral care but fundamentally if a child is really suffering then other professions need to be involved. Family therapists, psychiatrists, Clinical Psychologists and, of course, where there is considered to be any risk to a child the involvement of child protection agencies, social workers, is paramount. This all happens within the public sector. Since the tragedy of Victoria Climbie and others education, health and social services have worked tirelessly to improve communication and ensure we are working together to safeguard all children. There will always be mistakes and there will unfortunately always be these horrendous incidents. However, when it comes to significant problems affecting a child these agencies are the ones to whom the children and families are referred. Therefore whether it is a private or a state school involved makes little difference.

I have worked with good teachers and counsellors based in the private and state sector and I have worked with schools from both that do a fantastic job with helping support interventions for children. In my opinion the state sector is sometimes better at communicating and working together with other agencies because this is drummed into all professionals working in the public sector and there seem to slightly easier channels for communication between public sector agencies.

There were clearly mistakes made in this case and that is why there was a serious case review. When these incidents happen and new lessons are learned new training takes place for all professionals and this is co-ordinated by social services and attended by state school teachers and private school teachers.

As others have said this was an awful tragedy and my thoughts to go out to the family.

[supergirl]

Well thanks for this thread because this has made mee think a lot.

If money is not an issue, for me def private schools because I think english private education is the best in the world. I am french and I think our system has it wrong.

If your child is academic then the french system is great; but even in private schools classes are about 30 kids. If your child is not academic, he/she will fail and it would be very hard.

in the english private sector (and maybe a bit in outstanding state schools), i like the fact that children have a lot of opportunities to shine: academics, sports, drama, etc. The system helps children to develop, to find their spark, to become confident (sometimes borderline on arrogance ) and independant self-thinkers young teens and adults. But that is my sole opinion and i could be wrong.

BUT bullying happen everywhere. I was bullied when i was young and this is the one thing that terrifies me as I believe no children should have to live through that awful experience. I feel for that young girl, deeply and this makes me very sad.
I am certain that could have happened in a private school too. As Megan said, it is us as parents who can do their best to teach them how to be so strong and so independant that the bullies will tire... eventually. In the meantime, it is our love, support and vigilance that makes the difference i think.

Sx

[PrivateSchools]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politic ... Clegg.html

So even the government don't trust the state sector.

[schoolgatesmum]

Let's face it - Nick Clegg is hardly a man of his word. And I'm not surprised in the least that the politicians in this cabinet will send their children to private schools. Let's face it, you're hardly going to use the local state school when you yourself went to Eton! This government is so out of touch with reality. But that's another whole thread. I personally couldn't give two hoots where Nick Clegg sends his children. He's hardly a man of principles.

[NYE31]

Nick Clegg wouldn't be the first, didn't Diane Abbott send her son to private school & I'm sure there are a raft more that have done the same.

Even worse Nick Clegg is trying to suggest that it's his wife's decision saying something along the lines of he doesn't want to enforce his principles on her!

Love it - blame it on your wife who is the family bread winner

[katesimons3]

Dear Private School,
I have been reading this thread and amazed by the amount of apologizes you have made if you have offended,however your next post has been another "snobby " comment. One of the most dynamic things about living in London is the diversity and the freedom everyone has to make their own choices. Private Education is a choice based mainly on a families financial situation. Do you feel it fair to make a point to those who may not be able to afford it, thus providing what appears to me a class debate. Private schools in the center of London are not always a true indicator of the world in which we lead. May I finally add my Children go to an Outstanding state primary school, where their friends are from all walks of life culturally and socially. Can you say that for your Children??
We can afford the private route but are concerned that my Children may be surrounded by small minded people in a bubble. I say this as I question how much do we allow our Children to mix with other nationalities? Is this not segregation dependent on purse strings?
I have witnessed Mums in the park meeting each other, first question is where do your Children go to school, I prefer mixing with parents that are interested in my child's character rather than comparing their Child's school with mine.

[schoolgatesmum]

Spot on katesimons3 - couldn't agree with you more. I think people often forget that only 7% of the population are educated at private school (you would think it was more living round here though!). That's an awful lot of people to offend by writing off the whole of state education from one incident! My children are also state educated (as I was) and will continue to be state educated, even if I win the lottery!

[Vives09]

I totally agree - I was sent to both private and state schools and I didn't personally see much difference in the teaching. One independent school in particular was REALLY bad and didn't realise I had hearing problems for 3 years so I was bottom in every class (went on to have a postgraduate education later). My brother was also bullied at the same school. Of course it happens in any school, especially the schools (private or state) who pretend it doesn't.

My children both have mild SEN and so I don't have the option in many private schools of sending them there (a lot of private schools won't accept children with SEN as they're too much hard work - with some notable exceptions - another way of cooking their results btw). They're doing very well in a good state school though as they have turned out to be academically very bright and I can't speak highly enough of the help they've been given. I'm quite happy they don't have to only mix with one segment of society, they've got friends from all sorts of backgrounds who are kind, lively, chatty and interesting and who don't judge them by what they have