State versus private - which provides best education? Post Reply

[Annabel (admin)]

Just read this in the Evening Standard and thought it was relevant...

http://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/lon ... rnalSearch

[AbbevilleMummy]

From the article above "Yet most mothers in the UK work full-time, and for almost a third of families they are the main breadwinner"

I had no idea the statistics were that high! Feel a little less guilty now!

I also agree with her with regards to having children in your early to mid 20's. It much easier to juggle the younger you are, your body bounces back quicker and you then have plenty of time for your career. It's certainly something I will advise my daughter if she's in the right relationship etc.

[KatherineHepburn]

This is a really interesting discussion. Absolute proof that one size certainly doesn't fit all.

I am a SAHM. I have also chosen to educate my children through the state system. For us this is the best choice.

I sold my business just before giving birth to my first child. As an entrepreneur I have fortunately never felt under the cosh of an employer's expectations. Nor do I fear an interruption to my paid career while I take on the career of bringing up our kids.

My OH is also a business owner and we visualise the entire family as a team. There is no one person who has more importance than another. We have a joint account, all funds go in and come out evenly. We all work hard to maintain our sense of family (even if we occasionally bicker about who has had the tougher day!).

We are really lucky that we are able to have a parent to look after our kids and it was what we both wanted. A parent to do pick-up, help with homework, listen to the niggles or achievements of their day...just be there.

The article, although interesting, did make me sad. Yes, she's right, kids will thrive with their nanny or au pair and yes, they will grow up soon and you won't feel so bothered about leaving them but blink and you miss it. And for some of us the thought of missing it sucks.
As I say, we're lucky. I know plenty of amazing mums who work to afford the rent / mortgage / food! But if we can live on one wage by not spending thousands of pounds each term by sending our kids to private schools then that suits us.

Will my daughters or son think any less of their post-graduate educated mother for that? I very much doubt it.

[stayathomemuminsw11]

This is such an emotive topic, but I really feel that there is no 'one size fits all' approach.

Everyone has to do what works for them as an individual, and as a family, be that being a SAHM, working full time, private, state, whatever. There is no 'right' answer, and no 'perfect' solution. Every family has its cracks and problems. Every family is different. For some, being at home with your kids full time is not an option, financially or sanity wise. For some, leaving your kids every day would be too much to bear, and no career would justify it to you.

I have been a SAHM for almost 5 years, but am returning to studying next year, followed by full time work after a year, (although I will be fortunate enough to have the school holidays at home...). I am SO looking forward to it. I cannot wait to get back into working, and I absolutely love the job, so it is a good thing for our family. But I would never judge someone who chose to be a SAHM indefinitely, or one who works 8am-7pm 5 days a week.

I also think it is a sad state of affairs when a SAHM is not considered a good role model. Of course we want our girls (and boys) to grow up to be motivated, eager to learn and do as well as they possibly can, in whatever they choose to do. Of course I would love it if my daughter followed a career in medicine, or law, or whatever. But the constant pressure to 'have it all' is so sad, and to me, staying at home with your children is certainly not a waste of a good education, and I absolutely believe those of you (including me, for now) who are SAHMs are good role models. Being a working mum does not make you a better mum. Being a SAHM does not make you a better mum. We are ALL good mums. Our children are all loved and nurtured. Really, isn't that all that matters?

[AbbevilleMummy]

I completely agree with the last post. The great thing is that these days we all have a choice which is fantastic, I know my mum and definitely my grandmothers didn't feel they had a choice.

Having the choice however means difficult decisions but nothing is set in stone and if it isn't working most of the time we can change our minds, quit work or return to work, change schools etc.