Hello
As my username says I am very worried.
Let me firstly say that I have been a member pretty much since the beginning of this website but I have name changed to protect identities since a few of my friends knows my username.
For context:
When it happened it was on a school ipad. My child and friend were doing research for a project on super volcanoes.
The child said to mine “do you want me to show you something” to which my child said yes. My child was transfixed in a negative way later using words like horrible ans disgusting. They were found out by teacher 6after about 5 min and upon examination of the history they didnt went too far.
I talked to my child who told me the whole story and that he other one instigated it. The child confirmed it was at the start of the whole thing.
But then my child told what this child said and i became extremely worried by that child choice of words ie. sex partners etc. To me that child has heard it from somewhere.
My husband and I had a meeting with headmistress and class teacher. We said there was 3 things that was of concerned for us.
1. Our child was exposed to something inappropriate;
2. How come there was no filter and parental control at the school;
3. And as they have a duty of care, we were extremely about that poor poor child.
The school listened, had already talked to the parent in question and were dealing with it.
We believed them. And we talked to our child a lot: about what was seen, about safety, about keeping secrets that were too big, about being a good friend especially if that child is unhappy at home, and about saying no even to a friend.
I didnt mention to any of the other parents as I trusted the school (amd I still do) and I really disnt want that child and mum to be the subject of rumors and gossips in such difficult times.
Fast forward to yesterday.
A group of children (including mine) were commenting on that child way of behaving and saying that was inappropriate. My child then proceeded to say what had happened to her. Other children joined in and said what that child had said to them: other stuffs using vocab like fake willys and having sex on your own.
A friend called me last night. She wanted me to be aware in case i didnt since my child was involved. We agreed we would go separately to the headmistress at drop off today.
The headmistress said a few parents reported something.
Now i am worried about 3 things and i am not sure what else i can do.
1. About my child. Obviously my child is still processing it but I have reached the end of my resources. Do you think i should get my child to meet a child psychologist?
I dont want to make a bigger deal than it already is ut equally i need to help her.
2. About my child being blamed. I told my child to stop talking to others about it. It was not nice to spread informations. I told my child to be a good friend as clearly the friend needs help so needs friends at a time like this. I said the child was welcome at home for playdates but my child would not go there for now.
I insisted particularly on not keeping that friends secrets anymore. That some
Secrets are too big to keep especially if someone is troubled. I reminded my child that yes it was inappropriate stuffs so to not expose her other friends to it.
But i worry if my child is going to get blamed.
I didnt say anything at the time because I really had the other child welfare at heart.
3. About the other child. I am so so worried about what that child has heard or seen.
I have told the school again. I reminded them about their duty of care. Should I call the mum in question? I have met her when she picked ip her child from a playdate but dont know her well at all.
I would want to know if my child was being groomed or something. But equally i dont want the mum to think i am fishing or not minding my own business
After such a long post, thank you so much for reading.
Please what would you do? Any pointers?
Thank you
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