Husband has taken the kids away without consent after an argument Post Reply

[Andromeda]

Husband and I had a huge argument over Christmas period. He subsequently took the kids away without my consent for nearly 3 weeks. He's now allowing me to Skype with the kids and is considering bringing them back for a few days at a time. Are there any options to me apart from taking the legal route, and does anyone know of any good divorce lawyers?

[alexi]

What an awful way to have spent Christmas.
I hope that you don't mind me saying but your husband is coming across as a bit of a bully to me. I would suggest that you do get some legal advice and understand what your rights are.
If you were a relative or a close friend I would be suggesting that you get out. I know that is easy for me to say and I really don't mean to be cruel. Sending some positive energy.

[AbbevilleMummy]

Sent you a pm

[Andromeda]

Thanks for the positive energy Alexi and thank you for the PM AbbevilleMummy - I'll be in touch with your contact in the coming days.

Super grateful for all the support.

[waltzer]

Don't really have any legal advice to offer I'm afraid but with Alexi on this one. Do try and get some legal advice and hoping that this gets sorted for you as painlessly as possible. What a terrible Xmas it must have been. 

[coffeepod]

Sending you some positive energy Andromeda. What an awful situation to be in. And yes, agree with other posters do get some legal advice.

[Andromeda]

Many thanks for all the kind words. I am very grateful to have been sent legal contacts and am in the process of initiating chats. Fingers and toes crossed.

[muddyboots]

I just can’t believe how calm you are about this. Nearly three weeks in and you turn to NVN. I’m glad you got some legal contacts and help.
Taken the kids where exactly though?!
Who did you even know they are safe ? How old ?
This is totally unacceptable and a form of abuse to do such a stressful thing to you and how about the kids ?
Do you not have family on his side that you can talk to who might be able to speak to him ?
I can’t quite believe this.
personally I’d be on the phone to the police by the end of the day had this happened to me.
It’s crazy for a man to just do this.
Good luck to you and I really hope for a safe outcome for your children in this and yourself.

[Andromeda]

Thanks Muddyboots. I'm certainly not calm and am in bits a lot - but just trying to keep my head together enough to see what can be done. One of those things you never expect will happen to you...

[Lola123]

Hi I would take legal advice straight away and also or perhaps first seek the services of an accredited lawyer mediator who may help with putting some interim arrangements in place. Look at the family mediation council website for someone local and accredited. Even if you go to court, eventually, you will need to see a mediator first (unless there are exceptions) so talking with one now could really help as this sort of situation is their speciality. Locally is www.cressidabirnet.co.uk

[juzbuz]

Firstly the law stands that the mother instantly receives residency of the children father has parental responsibility.

The father will have to take you to court for a child arrangement order or you take him either way this is the best option.

Also by taking the children away without your consent is bullying and the family courts won’t see this action as a fair and sensible one.

Family courts can be expensive; you can represent yourself As it seems straightforward enough unless your husband goes for full residency of the children but I doubt he will get this unless he can prove you are an unfit mother.if any of the children are ages 11/12 they can usually have a say of who they want to live with; cafcass will more than likely get involved and the judge will listen.

Remember the judge /family court will always do what is best interest of the children.

Depending on where you both will live the children could stay every other weekend (and 2 days per week) at each parents and you can still have residency of the children.

Also child Maintanance; less time spent at the fathers overnight stays the more Maintanance you will receive, that may not be an issue for you but father may see that as issue.

These things can be sorted out of court but sounds to me by father taking the children away from you you may have to get a child arrangement so that he doesn’t do this again.

How awful for you and the children to not see each other for three weeks?father cannot decide on how often you see your children and I would grab a good family solicitor.

Hanne & co is a good one
Based in Clapham junction
Sue Harlow ( if she is still there)

Do not be bullied by the father remember you both brought the children into this world.

Good luck

[petey_burgess]

Hi there Andromeda

I am really sorry to hear about what must have been (and still is) a horrible experience.

You do need to act quickly to try to secure the return of the children. There is no presumption of residence with one parent or the other but it is correct that both of you will have parental responsibility which means you should have a say. You can seek emergency orders from the courts for the return of the children if they have been taken without your consent.

I am a family lawyer and accredited mediator based in Clapham Common. My firm is www.burgessmee.com. If you'd like I would be happy to speak on the phone myself or arrange for one of the team to get in touch.

I really hope you are getting access to the right emotional and legal support. Let me know if I can assist at all.

Best wishes
Peter Burgess

[Mummy2014]

I really sympathise. What a bully. This is abuse and you don’t have to accept it.

I’d recommend my divorce lawyer, Polly Barklem. She was excellent. Email address is: polly@thea.ltd.uk

Good luck and don’t let your husband set the frame for this - he doesn’t get to call the shots, especially where your children are concerned. If he takes them away again without your consent call the police. It’s important to build a record of this behaviour and also show the bully that you won’t tolerate it.

[clare74]

Priya Gill is a really lovely, experienced family lawyer who can assist with divorce and child arrangements. I would strong advise seeking legal advice sooner rather than later so you know where you stand, and what steps you can take. 

https://www.familylawyerlondon.co.uk/se ... -children/

Best wishes in sorting out your situation x

[Andromeda]

Thanks everyone.

Have now been in touch with several lawyers and appointed one today. Apologies Peter - I had already started engaging with lawyers before I saw your message. I will of course reach out if things change. Thanks again for the many helpful ideas posted here.