How to choose between two schools? Post Reply

[cream and peaches]

Hi all

I know this seems a silly question but we are stuck deciding between two really great options for primary schools, both of which we like for different reasons.

The biggest points of difference:

-one is literally a 3 minute walk from our house while the other is 1.5 miles away- so 30 min walk or 10 min drive.

-one is very creative, with a well balanced but busy time table full of opportunities to be creative. It feels a bit run down and a bit more chaotic as it’s a family run establishment. However, they have great leavers destinations and scholarships. From what the parents say it’s quite nurturing and our child loved visiting. She said the play was fun, the teachers nice and helpful and the children kind. We didn’t have a chance to see the students or teachers together, so I can’t speak to how it felt in the classroom. There is no religious affiliation.

-The other is a trust, very small, but well done Christian school. It’s also got great leavers destinations and we were SO impressed with how confident every child was (from reception-year 6) and how thoughtfully they spoke. The teaching style felt quite Socratic. The head was very inspiring and his engagement with the children was really inspiring to watch. The timetable felt
more academic with less time for sports (no swimming and about half the amount of sports time) and arts, but apparently the curriculum is quite creative and the children help with a weekly assembly that tends to include plays and music, where the parents can attend weekly. The children also visit the common twice a day for break. And it seems quite a nurturing place, with rigour. Our daughter also loved this school when visiting. She made fast friends and enjoyed the learning. She was very keen on it until she visited the other.

I think we are leaning more towards the latter for the above reasons, but also have made mistakes when choosing schools in the past and want to get this right. The commute for the later is further, parking harder (and we have a new addition to the family!), and our daughter seemed quite keen on the first after a visit. My husband isn’t the biggest fan of the first, but he also saw how excited our child was leaving.

So, please, can you share your wisdom in choosing schools? What are your top reasons/factors in deciding on whether to say yes to the school or not? Are we overlooking how important commute is? What are we not thinking about.

[Onetwothreego]

Wouldn't underestimate the commute. Something you will need to manage every single day.
Would also think about playdates - would you need to do some driving as well? Find it is always great when school friends are nearby (easier playdates, bumping into playgrounds etc). Good luck with your choice.

[MumofFive]

A creative school is of course very appealing but don't underestimate the academics if you're aiming for a London day school from Y7. The second of the schools you describe sounds very much like Dolphin School on the Northcote Road. If it is, then take a look at the thread below, which is a very truthful summary of how creative the school is. viewtopic.php?f=6&t=126401&p=284356&hil ... in#p284356 I'm a Dolphin parent and both my very creative but very different children (one loves drawing, the other is very musical) are thriving at Dolphin.

[BBC4]

Ideally you will speak with a few parents.
Location is very important on a daily basis . Good luck!

[Greyskies]

Both sound like lovely schools so you are in a very lucky position.

I would definitely go for the one nearer home. It will make life so much easier - especially with a new baby on the way - and you will be much more part of the local community. That will make play dates etc much easier. 


 

[SW18mum23]

My children go to Dolphin school on the Northcote Road. We live about 10 minute drive away, in SW18. Sometimes we drive and parking has always been fine. In nicer weather, we often bike/ scoot/walk which the children love. (My little one used to be in a bike seat which made the journey easier until she was ready to bike herself in the summer term of reception). There are lots of families who attend who live in a radius of a couple of miles around the school including SW11,SW18 ,SW17,SW12, SW4.
Location of a school of course has to work logistically but for me, choosing the right school where your child will be happy and thrive is the most important thing. And it's fun to get to know a broader community of people rather than just those on your doorstep.

[Goldhawk]

What "mistakes when choosing schools in the past"? 
Do you mean nursery school or is your child older?

 

[Coffeeplease]

It really depends on your circumstances. I would never be able to take more than 10 mins for drop off. We are a busy household, everyone needs to get to work and mornings are madness already - our school is really close by and I really appreciate it as we are often in a rush.
If you don't have the same constraints then distance may not be relevant.

[Mummy55]

From your description it reminds me of a similar choice we did between Eveline Day School and Dolphin School, we could have written the same a few years back! Two lovely small schools with very happy kids, great destination schools and lot of artistic activities (Eveline especially). In the end we opted for Eveline as the wrap around care especially half term worked best for us and it was closer, so we chose based on what worked best for us as a family. We are very happy with our decision, especially as our kids turned to be very good in drama, but I am sure we would have been happy either way school wise, just one is working best for our family situation.

[HappyM]

I would echo the comments made on the importance of location and drop off time for primary school - a long or uncertain commute time can become hugely stressful for you and your children. And limit your flexibility as circumstances change during your child's school career - for example, having younger siblings, changing your job/working hours or your children starting to have outside interests after school that you need to get to. A 3 minute walk to school would take the pressure off and make things easier for you logistically.

My instinct is that a school which is closer to you will also make it easier for playdates - particularly meeting up at short notice or sharing pick-ups for parties and other activities.

In terms of academic performance - you say that both schools have excellent leaver destinations and scholarships so you should feel reassured that either would be a good choice for your daughter! It sounds like you didn't have the opportunity to see the teachers and students interact at the first school - if understanding this engagement is important to you, would it be worth asking the school for another visit specifically to see this dynamic?

[Emsijohn]

We commute 2.5miles to Dolphin. We started our school journey with them 5 years ago and we lived a 3 minute walk from the school doors. Having moved further away and now having to factor in a commute, I can wholeheartedly say that we couldn’t have made a better decision. Personally, I’d go with the the right school for your children. A place where you know that when you drop them off they’ll be inspired and nurtured brilliantly until you pick them up. Nothing quenches that ‘mum guilt’ by knowing they’re in a wholesome and safe setting. Dolphin ticks those boxes and I couldn’t recommend them highly enough. Worth the commute every time! Happy to chat to you further!

[honeypots]

I was in the exact same position and was pregnant with my third while we were making this choice. We live in Fulham (Hammersmith side) and have a few excellent schools on our doorstep, however none of them settled well with me. I wanted a school that was nurturing, that was going to watch out for all aspects of my child’s well-being and development, not just what they could achieve. Basically as another mum pointed out, a place that where I dropped my children off I knew they would be happy and feel like a home away from home, especially as one suffered from shyness and was incredibly anxious. We chose Dolphin, with the commute and genuinely each of my three children all say they love Dolphin, they love school. We even put our youngest into their nursery. What struck my husband and I (and still does) is that the school and parental community actually genuinely do care about the children and family as a whole. It’s a real jewel. A few friends questioned our decision based solely on the commute but that was because that wasn’t a choice they would make or their priorities were different. For us we use that time to keep the children calm on the way to school and talk about things. Parking has never been an issue and I’ve honed the route to a tee. As for play dates by yr2 children are in so many different activities that most playdates are once a week or getting together on weekends and both we and other parents happily drive over the bridge to meet up So many times kind parents have picked our son up and then driven him home just because they wanted to give us time off from driving knowing we commute. It’s little things like that which show the heart of so many families in this school. happy to chat further but I can honestly say - choose the school that your child will be calm happy and nurtured at. All other things like academic achievements, arts etc follow naturally. I’m so happy that mine will look back and have just a sweet memory of their experience of primary…thinking of secondary is where I fret!! Happy to share more about how we managed in the beginning with a newborn, toddler and reception starter

[Moonlightdawn]

Go for the school that’s closer to you. If you can walk to school in less than ten minutes, you can’t get better than that.

Please do not underestimate the stress of having to drive to primary school. When they are this small, it’s just not worth the headache. I speak from experience. Looking back, I wish we had chosen a closer school (like you we had the option).

Totally agree with the people who mention the importance of distance and play dates, bumping into school friends along the way to school and playground etc.

[maze]

We had angst over a similar commute and, despite great doubt from my partner, we got a cargo bike which ended up being fab for so many other things that we never expected.. you can just chuck stuff in and go to Hyde park, for example or Southbank.
..and the school commute is actually a joy, some fresh air for me and safe / dry for the kids.. don’t let that put you off and choose the school you like best

[dudette]

It sounds like the pros and cons of each balance out in which case the deciding factor should be distance and so you should take the nearest one. If it doesn’t work out you can always move her to the other one later.