Is your nanny who you think she is? Post Reply

[shellbell83]

Hard one...

[juliantenniscoach]

Is this post a wind up? Is there a point to it other than scaremongering? I'm confused, for such a serious topic you've chosen to write it so poorly. Is this deliberate for some reason?

[shellbell83]

Why would it be a wind up?

Its very serious, and ur very rude to say its wrote badly, straight to the point.. Facts !!!

Its not to scare people at all, as I said there are lovely nannies out there but there are some awful ones too...

Its just to make people aware that just because everything is all well and good pn paper it doesnt mean a person is fit to look after children.

This is something that happens in life, more than people know, and I am simply bringing attention to the fact! And saying protect ur babies!

[Nannysouth]

Its sad that some people abuse children, parents nannies teachers..
Your post however is a bit confusing to me. First of, whats your definition of abuse? Surely if you and your friend witnessed it in different occasions someone should have done smt immediately!
I would instantly call someone if i witness a person hitting or harming a child and not simply let the person walk out with the children! God knows wt they ll do at home. Nannies are some more strict than others, some will be quite strict and not take bad behaviour i myself have colleagues that i dont agree with when it comes to their disciplining methods but abuse is a very different story.
Also be careful suggesting ppl put up survailance cameras, check the law before you put yourself in hot waters.
Should you decide to have a camera/audio recorder etc, you must inform the person that works in your house. If i find there re hidden cameras where i work and wasnt told ill be seeing you in court. Would you like to find out that those times alone in your office that you discussed your smear test on the phone with ur doctor, farted, picked your nose, lifted your shirt to wipe crumbles out of your bra and adjusted your pants out of your bum have all been recorded and your bosses are having a good laugh with the footage? Everyone has rights to privacy.
X

[Groucho]

I have to agree with Nannysouth. I hate the idea of CCTV for checking on employees it's just wrong on every level.
I would like to know exactly why the original poster decided to share this random piece of information with nappyvalley? Just because one nanny has been found to be abusing children (vague allegation) doesn't make it any more likely that others are. In fact stats show that family members are by far the most likely to abuse children. Maybe someone should write a post suggesting nannies put CCTV into their employers house to check on the parents? All very silly and will only serve to make people paranoid.

[GoldStar]

This is such a delicate subject. You haven't mentioned whether it was physical or emotional abuse.
If I saw someone physically hurting a child, I would intervein without question.
If it was over disciplining a child, every family will discipline in different ways. If I didn't agree with something someone was doing, I would speak to them. I would expect someone to talk to me if someone saw me doing something they didn't agree with.

I would also suggest speaking to your cleaner. They are the best people to see what behaviour happens behind closed doors.

I have just set up a nanny agency and wish to go beyond your average agency. I have thought about this subject before and wondered if people would be interested in a 'drop-in' service once a nanny has been placed with a family? This way we can see the nanny at work, see their relationship with the children and how they conduct things. It would also benefit nannies too as we could be the middle-man for any issues they may need to speak to their employer about as it can be very difficult for a nanny to talk to employers (especially when they are new to a job) on issues such as money, discipline, duties etc. Mosy agencies don't follow-up well and we want to stamp that out. Would this be a service people would be interested in?

Adeline
(http://www.astarnannies.co.uk - website goes live on Friday 7th October)
astarnannies@live.co.uk

[shellbell83]

I said consider cctv and I didnt say hide it from the nanny. If its ur house u have eveey right to protect ur house and UR CHILDREN.

This is about child protection and looking after innocent children.

It doesnt matter what kind of abuse it was, it was abuse, simple!

I thought it was relevent to bring this to peoples attention, saying not everyone is who they say they are.

If you dont like the post then so be it.. Im just trying to protect children !!!!

[supergirl]

like everywhere in the world, there are bad nannies and good ones, bad parents and good ones.
Nobody should generalised the attitude/behaviour of a minority and write posts like these.

[RJW81]

Asmara, what a load of insulting, scaremongering rubbish. Really!

[townieatheart]

Wow Asmara, what a horrible world you have witnessed! Mainly all I see are children surrounded by loving parents, grandparents and nannies. There are exceptions of course but in general within Nappy Valley I see happy children.
Your post is so aggressive that I wonder who would employ someone with your attitude in the first place.
I have remained at home to care for my children but have many friends who work. The way they parent their children is no different to me, infact they probably do more with them at the weekends as they have missed them so much during the week.
You cannot possibly generalise all parents in the way you have. I feel sorry for you having to walk through this life with such negativity.

[freshairmum]

I thought the original post was bad enough, but Asmara you've really taken it to a different level. As there are good nannies and poor nannies, there are also parents with d ifferent skills in different situations. But the majority of parents and nannies on this board are very good at looking after their children / those in their care, and love their children deeply. My son is the most precious thing I have and I would never dream of behaving in the way you've described. Quite frankly it's just insulting to read your post.

This is the first time I've posted on a 'contraversial' topic although I've read many (with some hilarity) so you might understand how ridiculous I find this.

[kiwimummy]

I wasn't going to post, even though the initial post annoyed me a little by being barely literate and quite scare-mongering in tone. However, I thought the message was an important one, so I didn't reply.

But Asmara, that post of yours is utterly ridiculous. I'm really offended by it. I'd never hire anyone with such a negative and horrible attitude, and it really doesn't reflect what I see around me as a mum!

[NannySonia]

Unfortunately abuse is quite common behind closed doors. There have been times that I have cried and cried and cried over what some parents do to their children.

Nannies are in a terrible situation when they see this going on. They likely will get fired for talking to the parents about it, and the parents are in a position to spread lies about the nanny.

All that I can do is help the parents with their patience and gently guide them to better behaviour. Very bad physical abuse would be a different case for me - straight to the police - but you should know that Ofsted teaches nannies not to do this. Instead we are taught to keep a log of the child's injuries and even send them to our local doctor or similar for them to keep a record over time. Even terrible, terrible injuries aren't supposed to be reported, as without a significant record over time no case can be taken against the parents (or other person), and no change can be made for the child.

[susiep23]

I completely agree with nannysouth's post and all her points made.

You get many very good, kind & well educated in early years (wether exp or qualifictaion or a blend) nannies,teachers, child carers etc and those that are not as into their jobs are strictor than others and have very varying methods to childcare and what is the right way to do things.

You really need to discuss with you're nanny you're own approach to you're children and what you expect from her, how you see fit for you're children to be taught and how u feel appropraite for you're nanny to teach you're children they have boundaries, what is acceptable and what isnt so she/he can accompany you in helping them grow to be well adjusted happy adults.

Some parents for example request a "no nonense nanny" in thier application to help keep thier three "boisterous" (as they may write) children from "causing mayhem" as i have seen posted on applications from parents, others will request a "kind but firm nanny" and other parents seem alot more free and easy and happy for thier nanny to do what she thinks best taking most lead from the nanny and what she suggests for rotuine/dicipline from her experience as a nanny. Everyone is different.

OFCOURSE PHYSICAL discipline should NEVER be allowed by a child carer to a charge. I think many of these posts are scaremongering and quite frightening for parents and quite insulting to nannies actually.

If cctv is to be used the nanny must be told, without this is against the law for reasons nannysouth said that its complete invasion of privacy.

If for example you work away alot etc and really missing you're little one and want to see what they are getting upto on ur lunch break etc im sure most nannies would'nt mind a camera but you have to inform you're nanny or how would you feel being watched without you're knowing?? or not being trusted to do you're job well?? it would be very hurtful.

I also think amsaras post is not at all justified and very insulting and negative. Basically dont judge all parents on one or two experiences you have come across and dont judge most nannies by one or two experiences you have had of bad nannying. This is obvious

also nanny sonia im not sure this is the case that ofsted would openly discourage nannies from reporting abuse witnessed. I understand that if you suspect but have not much to go on maybe keep a log of bruises etc but you should be keeping an accident incident book anyway for you're cover and parents cover anyway like if child falls and bumps. Anything that leaves a mark with my charge if he bumps head or anything i write down and get a signiture as i though everyone did.

If god forbid i was in a situation where i witnessed actual abuse there is no way i would'nt report this!!

[elliethousand]

Ooh, bit of unneccessary snobbery on this thread. Not all of us are blessed with perfect grammar/spelling. I noticed that the original poster has already posted over 90 times on this forum, so she clearly hasn't suddenly signed up to wind people up and scaremonger. I have to ask myself, would the pot be taken more seriously if it were written to the exact requirements on some on here? I also note not one, but TWO nannies have written to highlight how not everything in the home is rosey, and is sometimes downright dangerous. Perhaps we might put our attitudes to one side and pay attention to the actual messages the posters are trying to convey.