15wk-old baby only sleeps on me - help! Post Reply

[lalectrice]

Right from day 1, my baby as refused to sleep on any surface other than a warm, breathing human - preferably me. (She will tolerate being transferred to other people when asleep and will only fall asleep on her dad after a lot of crying.) She falls asleep on me (either breastfeeding or being rocked) and I then try to transfer her to her cot, but within minutes she is awake and crying. This is repeated multiple times until eventually she is crying so badly that I cave in and let her sleep on my chest (with me in a reclining position). Needless to say I am surviving on virtually no sleep - I try not to, but do nod off when she is on me, then wake in a panic about her safety. In the daytime, she naps in the sling or in my arms and only sleeps for 3 20min catnaps, despite my best efforts to get her to sleep for longer.
I have read everything and tried everything, including scenting the cot to smell like me, warming the cot, pick up/put down, ssh/pat, cranial osteopathy, sleeping her on her side etc etc. She will not even co-sleep on the mattress in my bed, unless she is on my chest. She does not wake for a feed, merely to be held. Swaddling had some brief success - we got her to stay in the cot for 3/4 hours on a handful of occasions, but the appeal wore off and she's now too old for it as she's close to rolling over. I do not believe in controlled crying or CIO and am not prepared to try these methods.
I am DESPERATE and am on the brink of employing a sleep consultant, but feel I've read so much that I know what they will say -either CC or use a bedtime routine (we do), put her down drowsy but awake (I've tried - she snaps awake screaming), reassure her with soothing pats (more screaming hysteria) etc etc.
Can anyone give me ANY advice or recommend a sleep consultant who really works? I'm so desperate to get some sleep!

[Twirly]

Controversial one but have you tried sleeping on tummy? Both my babies were like that - only sleeping on me and when i bit the bullet and tried them on their front, they slept for hours so i kept on doing it and they sleep so well.
Worth a try?

[falconmum]

MY LO also sleeps better on his tummy and likes to have a lot of tummy time as well .

As a result, he is quite strong now and was rolling over in his 4th month.

[GES77]

One of my children slept like a dream on his tummy - turns out he had silent reflux and laying on their tummy is much more comfortable (their digestion happens when they sleep). I bought an angel care breathing monitor for my own peace of mind.

My third baby would not settle unless held or in a rocker chair next to me or his father in the kitchen till we went to bed, and then on our bed! I bought an amby baby hammock and I promise, from day 1, he passed out at 7pm in our room, on his own and I didn't hear a peep till 630am the next morning. He has done the same for the last 6 nights (he is 7 weeks). I think we are 70% lucky to have a chilled baby (my last two were not!) and 30% he is now comfortable (you can google the benefits!). Anyway, they cost the same as one night of a sleep consultant, so maybe worth a try?

Otherwise, how is her feeding? Can you leave her with someone you trust so you can get some sleep during the day? Have you tried a dummy?

I really feel for you.

[Funlovingchildcare]

I agree with the mothers and out her on her tummy. My little one slept through from about 2 weeks on his tummy and didn't really have many sleepless nights. Controversial,yes, but it works. He also slept on my chest, but I found that sleeping on his tummy worked.

Good Luck
x

[lalectrice]

I am SO tempted to put her on her tummy as I suspect she would sleep much better and maybe (dare I hope it?) stay in her cot, but am very fearful about SIDS as the 'Back to Sleep' campaign apparently cut cases of cot death by 50%, which does implicate tummy sleeping. As soon as she can roll over (showing signs already and has done front to back with great effort on a couple of occasions), I may well try it. I've got an Angelcare sensor pad, but according to the internet, you cannot revive a SIDS baby once they have stopped breathing so I'm not sure how much use it is for that.

I shall definitely check out the baby hammock, which sounds interesting (more womb-like perhaps)? I've tried a dummy several times, but she won't take it, unfortunately. And I can't get anyone else to look after her during the day as she screams blue murder if handed to anyone other than me or my husband - and even he only gets 10mins or so before she freaks out. I keep diligently trying to pass her round to other people, but she's been like that since 8 weeks old. Aaaargh!

Many thanks for the advice and sympathy.

[shellbell83]

Has she a comforter at all, the 'bear taggies' are pretty good,
All else fails, get a taggy or muslin or other fine material and carry it around with u for the day, then put it in her coat, moses basket and hopefully she will smell u and think sur still there..

Good luck

[Suzy K]

Our first was like that - we were exhausted working in shifts whilst she slept on us. Totally sympathise with how you feel - including the waking up in a panic after you've dozed off. Turns out ours had silent reflux (like the babies above) so I imagine she was seriously uncomfortable on her back. We ended up sleeping her on her side using those bumper things to hold her in place. Also not 'advised', but it worked. Good luck and maybe check out if your baby might have a reflux issue, it could save you hours of stress!

[sparkletiger]

I've found posting a question on the 'peaceful parenting ' page on Facebook - like it on FB and you get to see all the questions and answers. Obviously some are more helpful than others but the ethos is attachment parenting which is generally also against CIO.

Have you got Elizabeth Pantleys No Cry Sleep Solution? Worth a go.

Go with your own beliefs and don't be pressured (or lulled) by people who to convince you to let your baby cry themselves to sleep.

If you have a big enough bed you should be able to arrange things do that you can sleep. Clearly you want to worm towards her not needing to sleep on you but it wont be this forever. My daughter sometimes needs comforted to sleep in this way and she always sleeps on me during the day.

Think being as relaxed about it as you can is important. Trying things to change it, if you want to, but also trying to cherish this bonding. Easier said than done, I know, when you're tired. Good luck and let us know how it goes

X

[supergirl]

I agree you should try her on her tummy. As soon as both my children could roll one way, they start sleeping in their tummy snd have done that ever since.
I would also suggest you try physio for all on their webbs road or chelsea office. My second child found it difficult to find her sleep (and by that i mean falling asleep on her own). I had to bring her to the physio for smthg different, the lady i saw told me she was completely twirled inside (cant remember the technical word she used). I cant remember her name but she is the owner. She suggested i come back for some physio massage, i thought this was worth a shot (plus bupa was paying ) so we went.
Miracles! My child expelled so much mucus, that were left from the birth that was unbelievable. A couple of days after that she started sleeping on her own, for 8 then 12hrs,... She has been a great sleeper ever since (she was 3 weeks old). Naps came a bit later but in line with babies biological development. Worth a shot i d say!
Good luck, hope you ll get some sleep soon!

[bamse]

I second the baby hammock. My son was in one from day one and was such a good sleeper (although he's making up for the nighttime wakings 22 months on ). If you read the reviews they are supposed to help with reflux so worth a try if that's her problem.

[lalectrice]

Thanks SO much for all your advice, everyone. I had suspected silent reflux in the past (administering Gaviscon was a major challenge in a baby who refuses to take a bottle), but it seemed to have subsided. She will sleep on her back in my arms, but definitely prefers her front, and a persistent little cough (but no cold) makes me wonder if there is still a bit of acid swilling around. I'm going to try a sleep positioner, placing her on her side if necessary. If that doesn't get me anywhere, I'm going to get the Amby hammock.

Wish me luck...! And thanks again.

[ebonymummy]

I had exactly the same issue with my little one. After some advice from a friend, I put her to sleep on her tummy and it was fine. I bought one of those under mattress sensors which gave me the peace of mind that if anything happened, it would alarm. It is so difficult as all the advice is against this way of sleeping and any health visitor would advice against it, but once I started and she slept so well, I just stuck with it.

[lalectrice]

Well the sleep positioner (wedging her on her side) has failed and the Amby hammock has arrived so we shall see if that helps... I put her in the cot on her tummy today during a nap and she remained deeply asleep. Moved her to her side and she woke up immediately. I am so very tempted to just go for tummy sleeping, but am still too scared. She is now 4 months, though, which I understand is the end of the peak period for SIDS (2-4mths), so am really starting to consider it.

[txmum]

I feel for you. We had the exact same problem and likewise took turns at sleeping. Our son also had silent reflux and just didn't sleep unless on one of us until we found the right medication to treat his reflux. (we went through three different drugs before we got it right). He was somewhat more comfortable on his side, and despite bolstering him snugly, it still freaked me out to the extent that I just watched him sleeping which was counter productive to me getting some sleep!
I know you've tried gaviscon, but we and others have found that only serves to make them constipated and really doesn't properly address the acid issue. Im of course not a doctor, but your story sounds similar to ours and the other mums who have mentioned reflux above. I would recommend speaking to your gp again, as it's more than a behaviour issue which is causing your little one to sleep or not sleep like this!