Nanny or maternity nurse? Post Reply

[JDMummy]

Hi fellow mums,

We have a sweet 2 year old son and we are expecting our second at Christmas's time. we are very happy about it. I didn't have any help with my first child. However, I do think we may need some help at least for the first few months after my second is born. I hope my son's routine activities will not be affected and he receives extra attention while I will be busy with the new born. Should I look for a nanny or maternity nurse? How much would be the cost of full-time, part-time nanny, living in nanny or au pair in SW11 area?

Our friend recommended us a night time maternity nurse. She is great but she can only help with the new born at night time and not cheap. I do need help during the day with the cooking, taking my son out etc.

Any advice please!

Rosa

[marypoppins]

Whilst some maternity nurses will only work with the baby and mother others take a more holistic approach and work with the whole family, more in the style of a doula. Personally, I always try to meet the individual family needs in order for all the members to have the nicest experiences around the birth of the new baby as possible, including caring for the siblings where appropriate and helping with cooking. A maternity nurse is expensive as they are available long hours to support you and provide a level of expertise you will be unlikely to find with an au pair-but you could get lucky and find a trainee nurse or similar.

[Suzy K]

We had a fantastic maternity nurse when our second was born. We chose that option as, a.We had had a horrible time when our first was born (WOW could she scream, didn't feed, didn't sleep, etc) so feared a repeat of that and, b.We reasoned that our eldest would need our attention when the new baby arrived so having someone we could trust to look after the newborn really freed us up to do this. We actively looked for someone who was happy to interact with our daughter and it worked out fantastically. Having help with the newborn meant I had the energy I needed to feed, rest and play with my older child. I think some might worry that they are 'outsourcing the baby', but I think if you have the right person it really doesn't feel like this. Also, as I breastfed for hours a day in those first few weeks there really was plenty of time to bond! I think though if the price of a maternity nurse is too much you can get a great set up from a nanny, doula or au-pair, it's just really important to know what you are looking for, and what you will need help with and then spend the time to find the right person who is going to fit in. Good luck!

[JDMummy]

Thank you so much ladies for your advice. I have no idea what we will face with a new born and my 3 year -to-be son yet. My son was so easy. We didn't have any issue with his routine. He just did all his things so naturally. We are very lucky.

Is my son going to need more of my time or the new born? I wonder how those supper mummies out there coped with the two, especially those who did not have any help. What is your day like?

[schoolgatesmum]

Well I've got four children - roughly 2 years between each - and other than my Mum staying for a couple of weeks never had any other help. It was a bit scary to start with but you'd be amazed at how quickly you settle into a new way of doing things. Just don't have too many expectations and go with the flow. Word of advice - I anyone offers to help, accept immediately!

[JDMummy]

Hi Schoolgatesmum,
Thank you for your advice. You are truely one of the super mummies!
Best wishes!

[kiwimummy]

Have you thought about a post natal doula? Mine was amazing, she played with my daughter, made her special smiley face meals, made me food and froze it, made dinner for my husband, made me endless cups of tea, did the dishes and was just generally quite wonderful. Made life so much easier. My son was born around Xmas time too, and having the doula there made my daughter think the Xmas period was extra special!

Can PM you her name if you like.

[emsken]

I am now 5 weeks into newborn and having a toddler so am "in the thick of it" I guess. We went with a maternity nurse in the end for 10 days after hubby went back as it all seems a bit daunting...best money I have ever spent! She was.very good with my daughter (very strict which she needed to be as I had become a bit relaxed in the later stages of my pregnancy) but she was still loved by my little one!!!

My theory was that we could get a night nanny in, but it's the same price as someone 24-7!

I can send you her details if you like? Or Eden nannies have some lovely nannies...

[Almaceti]

I had my second one when the first one was 3 years and 4 months old. he was already going to nursery and I managed everything on my own. I had some time in the day just for the baby, and tried to give more attention to the toddler between 4pm and bedtime (although of course it is disrupted by the baby).
Maybe it is an option to consider? I think the advantage compared to a nanny is that he would be happy to discover new things, new people, he would be busy with things for "big boys" rather than feeling jaleous when he's looked after by the nanny when you're busy with the baby? Of course, starting nursery can be a challenge, so maybe start a few months before the birth?
I'm sure you will do well, it is much easier the second time! but you do need to be organised!

[AbbevilleMummy]

I hired an au pair after juggling with my new born and 2 year old by myself for 3 months.

She is simply an angel. Just having an extra pair of hands is amazing. I felt that I didn't need a nanny or maternity nurse as I knew how to look after a new born and my toddler, I just needed more hands on deck at times! (dinner, bath and bed or in the mornings so that I could shower in peace!)

It's by far the best decision I've ever made and wish that I'd done it from the start. She lives with us and I pay her £80 per week and buy her regular treats as I love her so much!!!

If you don't need specialist help that a nanny or maternity nurse can provide then I would highly recommend an au pair.

[JDMummy]

Thank you Abbevillemummy,
Yes I am thinking of this option now. Finger is crossed hope I will find a nice one.