Cot to Bed Transition help! Post Reply

[moops]

Hello

We have just bought our 2 year old Son a bed as he is tall for his age and has started banging around in his cot and getting frustrated. Anyway we put it up today and I put his grobag duvet on and he loved it and played in it for ages, so I thought so far so good. Well he's just gone to sleep and it's 10pm! As soon as we laid him down he screamed and cried and kept on getting up, he really didn't want to sleep in there! I ended up rocking him to sleep which I hate doing as he always put himself to sleep in his cot and I don't want to create any bad habits. I also worry that day time sleeps are going to stop if it keeps on taking ages for him to settle.

We've packed up his cot so I can't even put him back in it if all else fails!

Does anyone have any advice? How long does this last for??

[Vives09]

Hi! I've had this with both my sons - the first because the second came along and we needed the cot, and the second because his young cousin came along and she needed a cot (the cot's done some time, as you can see!).

It's hard work for a bit but they do (eventually) get used to it. I did it by staying with them the first few nights so they felt comfortable, then staying in the same room but gradually moving further towards the door each night, then I would sit outside and just out of sight until they would stop coming out to see if I was there. If they did start wandering they would be put firmly back into bed with no eye contact, talking etc. until they got the message that this was not playtime, it was sleep time. It works after a few weeks, but is not so traumatic as just leaving them (for me!) which I know some people swear by.

Hope it helps!
A x

[moops]

Thanks for the reply! The problem is my Son doesn't sleep when we are in the room with him either! If we stay at a hotel and he is in the room with us he just gets really excited and won't sleep. Last night and tried lying in bed with him but everytime I opened my eyes he was staring at me, I tried sleeping on a mattress on the floor but he just jumped off the bed to come and play with me so I don't think that technique would work with him!

I've just tried to put him into bed for his daytime nap and he won't stay lying down, he keeps crying and getting out and switching on the light. I'm waiting a few minutes then going back in turning off the light, putting him back in bed and telling him firmly that it is bedtime. He is so stubborn I just can't see this working!

I'm starting to think if it is worth it! He was putting himself to sleep at 7.30pm till 8.30am and now refusing to go to bed, up for hours in the middle of the night and not having a daytime nap. Shall I just forget about the bed for a while?!

[Helgibbs]

Hi Moops

I would persevere as Vives09 suggests.
It will work, and more quickly than you think. you just have to stay calm, be consistent, and he will soon get used to it.

Good luck

H

[KatherineHepburn]

Oh Moops, bad luck. That sounds like a right mare.

Do you think it'd be worth getting him some Spiderman/Waybuloo/In the Night Garden etc bedding as a treat?

[Quilty Pleasures]

Hi Moops,

I feel for you I really do... I have 3 little treasures (4, 2 and 7 months) and by that time of day you are just too tired to be trying to negotiate bedtime with a 2 year old. With our daughter she got hoofed out of her cot at 2 years because number 2 was on the way and we needed it. We had enough space to put both the bed and the cot in the room at the same time for a few weeks, so she got used to it being there, and talked about her sleeping in a big girls bed for a week or so before it happened. We used to sit on the bed for bedtime stories so that it became a familiar place for her to be while she was still in her cot. The first night we put her in she asked if she was sleeping there now and we said yes... job done.

With our son he started throwing himself out of his cot every night at bedtime (scary!) so we decided at 20 months to put him in a bed... we didn't have space in his room for the cot and bed so it was just cold turkey. Initially he was in a standard single with a bed guard and he seemed a bit lost in it, so we got rid of it after 3 nights and bought an extendable bed from Ikea which worked a treat. We replaced his growbag for a little duvet and pillow set also from Ikea and he loved it. I'm not suggesting for a moment that you are so please don't read it that way, but I think the more we as parents make a big deal about the changes that will inevitably come for our little ones, the scarier it seems for them. I've found that if you just talk to them about it, ask them about why they are reluctant/scared/unhappy about whatever the change is, they are normally okay about it after a night or two.

So a couple of questions for you... what size bed have you put your little one into? Have you made any other changes to their room, maybe new duvet, curtains, new nightlight or something exciting? Doesn't have to be expensive just colourful and new! Also really try and go over the top in the morning praise about sleeping in a big bed, stickers etc!

Good luck it really will be fine!

Leigh

[Quilty Pleasures]

PS (As if I need one after my long waffling post....) I wouldn't recommend getting the old cot back out... it's not a good idea to go back on decisions because it's really confusion for little ones... stick with it you will be surprise how quickly he adjusts given a bit of time and lots of encouragement!

Leigh

[moops]

Hello!

We actually had a better night last night. I took him to bed and read him a story and when he looked drowsy I left and stood outside the door. He got up 5 times and I told him firmly to get back in bed and on the 6th time he just started crying and but didn't get up, a minute later he was asleep! About an hour later we heard a large thud and found him on the floor crying (even though he has a bed guard) but I just gave him a cuddle and put him back and he slept till 7.20am!

I know he slept better because he was absolutely knackered because he refused to have his day sleep, not sure if I should attempt it today or just cut it out so he is more tired at bedtime. I really don't want him to stop sleeping during the day!!!

As for his bedroom, it is quite small and we had a double bed in there so we have packed it up and put it in a small alcove in his room (very attractive) we have also put his cot away and he is in single bed. I was going to get a toddler bed but he is very tall for his age and I thought I may as well go through hell once rather than twice iykwim. Thinking that this may have been a mistake as he does look very small in it. I bought him a grobag first duvet with monkeys on it which he seems to like, the only other change is the bed is in a different position to his cot as it wouldn't fit there so I guess he has a different view etc. I read somewhere about getting glow in the dark stars for the ceiling? I don't want to scare him even more though, or make him too excited!!

[Quilty Pleasures]

Hi again,

Well done for sticking with it for another night - it's so hard to keep at it and very easy to give up! The bed we bought from Ikea starts off little, then extends to a full size single in 3 stages... you can get them on ebay too and then buy a new mattress, if you are worried about it being too big then maybe consider that...? This is the one we chose but they have a few http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/S69847510" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;.

Unfortunately our son gave up his afternoon naps in bed after the switch but did sleep later in the mornings... you could also try going out in the car/buggy in the afternoons and seeing if he will drift off?

Keep at it you are doing great!

Leigh

[moops]

Think I spoke to soon, we are having an absolute mare tonight. Everytime we leave the room he's up and at the door crying hysterically. I've put him back about 15 times so far and he clings on to me screaming "No, No, No", I feel awful. Am I doing the wrong thing? Should I just put him back in his cot where he is safe and happy???

[Annabel (admin)]

Good luck Moops!

Thinking of you!

A

[Vives09]

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time, I know how heart rending that can be, and it's particularly hard at the end of a long day. Just stick with it if you can bear it though, it will be worth it in the end. Maybe if he's getting panicky stay with him for a couple of days until he's calmed down but get him used to feeling warm and comfortable and safe there. Try and leave just as he's dropping off once he starts feeling a bit calmer and more positive about being in his new bed, or even just move to sit on a chair near to the bed where he can see you so he doesn't get too upset. It will take time, but when you can just get him to go to bed (and climb out in the morning) it will be easier for you and will also make him feel much more grown up and clever!

Good luck and best wishes
A x

[fluffemuss]

Hi Moops - POOR you! we have a nearly 2 year old. We bought him from day one, a cot-bed, so we just remove the sides when he looks like he doesn't want to be in a "cot" any more - he can stay in it till he is 4/5. perhaps the bed thing is just too scary - could you get a cot-bed, and perhaps remove one side only...and break him in gently - nightmare to lose the day sleep also, you could have a look on NappyValley.co.uk to see if anyone selling one??/exchange the bed you have....not ideal, but just a thought.......but sounds like he is just not ready for the Whole Big Bed just yet! Good Luck!! x

[moops]

I am seriously kicking myself for not buying a cotbed in the first place but we didn't have the room for it at the time. In hindsight the single bed was maybe a bad idea, I searched high and low and didn't come across the Ikea bed suggested which looks fab! Oh well, we have pretty much admitted defeat after DS didn't go to sleep till 4am this morning!! I am going to put the cot back up again and persist with the day sleeps in the cot which isn't as important as night time and hoepfully once he has mastered that we will try night time again. I know I should persist but I think there is a difference between resistance and sheer terror, he obviously isn't ready and if he is that upset then there is no way he's going to settle and I'd rather quit now and try again later then create really bad bed associations!

[Quilty Pleasures]

Aw moops poor you! I think the cot bed idea is a great one, if you can't find one then the Ikea one I sent the link for is called a LEKSVIK Extendable bed £99 new from ikea (in the children's sleeping section on their website), or you could try ebay? If it's this traumatic for all of you then maybe a rethink is required.

If the old cot is the best thing I'd just make one recommendation if I may (and I really don't want to scare you just make you aware) ... if he starts climbing out of it you really need to take the side off or change beds... my husband is a paramedic and goes to lots of little ones with breaks and dislocations due to throwing themselves out of the cot so best to keep his safety in mind if that starts to happen.

Take care and don't beat yourself up - he'll get there in the end!

Leigh