Buggy Etiquette Post Reply

[Devi]

Hi: I just had a rather bad experience on a bus with a very aggressive father of two kids bringing in his double buggy into the buggy space on the bus. I made as much space as I could for his double buggy and would have happily assisted in any manner (I had a buggy there as well but of course we parents are usually as cooperative as can be). But he said it was just common sense that I had to get up from my seat since he had a double etc etc and that he didn't even have to speak to me (actually that would have been much better had he not spoken given that he was so rude). It was all very unnecessary and made me feel quite bad. fortunately i had to get off after a stop. So, my question is what is the rule when a double buggy comes in and a single one is already parked (and we are not being nice to each other )? was I being bullied or was he just rude about his entitlement? thanks.

[tooposhtopush]

How rude!

Can you describe him and the bus stop he got on at? I reckon between us we can identify him and "out" him.

There are no hard and fast rules and your offer to help was more than enough, I think he deserves a big telling off!

Don't let it get you down, he probably was having a really really bad day

TPTP

[Devi]

Thanks a ton TPTP--that's what I have been consoling myself with--the thought that he may be a troubled daddy on a really bad day. Probably his two daughters have kept him up all night (for a week?) and he is having a hard time at work (worse, is out of work?)....oh well, we can fill in the blanks with imagination & dark humour ((: I was feeling a bit down and your post certainly cheered me up. best devi

[tooposhtopush]

glad to help!

[moops]

Gosh that is beyond rude! Don't let it get you down Devi, sounds like he has major issues! I've had a few run ins with Dads, I reckon they can be bitchier than some Mums!

Sorry but if you have a double buggy you need to check that there is enough space on the bus for it, I also think the old rule of first come first served still applies!

[Devi]

Thanks Moops-- I hope to never cross paths (or buses) with this one again! NappyValleyNet solidarity is so cool. TPTP, he got in near North side of the Common (I think Cedar's Road)--not 100% sure. Was a a stocky, round faced guy. If any of you see him, don't let him bully you! Have a grand weekend, devi

[Bailey]

Sorry to hear you had this experience

Bottom line you always check the buggy/wheelchair space on the bus before boarding..and if you are ever not sure, just ask the bus driver. I agree with the above..he was probably just soo sleep deprived and wasn't coping with normal day to day challenges. You go grl!

[schmee]

He does sound very stressed out and rude. Did he have toddlers in the buggy? I know when I was taking my twins out in the double buggy when they were under 18 months I used to have major problems as I couldn't get both of them out and put them on my knee safely then fold up the buggy, whereas I suppose if you have one child you can always put them on your knee and move the buggy out the way. So sometimes I would literally have to let about 10 buses go by before I could get a space, or end up walking three or four miles home which rather put me off going anywhere in the first place. Now they are older it's ok because I can get them to sit on the seats by themselves.

No need for him to be rude about it though and I did find that most people were really helpful.

Bit of sympathy for double buggy users though - people don't always realise how hard it is. There was the time the man pushed me over in Sainsburys because he thought my buggy was taking up too much space in the queue. Or the woman with a single buggy who shouted at me to get mine out of the way but then refused to move hers (she expected me to reverse up an aisle which was actually narrower than my buggy).

[Devi]

Thanks all. Yeah I can imagine it is hard with a double buggy--maybe he has had problems in the past and figured offense is the best defense--best way to get the space without letting all the buses pass you by. Yet, honestly most folks would accommodate other parents. In fact despite his rudeness I could not really give him a sharp and smart reply because I was looking at the kids (looked like 3 yr olds to me-- but both were sleeping and yes, it is a challenge for anyone to travel with two). I have to admit I could think of nothing smart to say as well because i was too astonished to react. As I said it was totally unnecessary aggression because I would have more than happily even completely taken my buggy out as I was getting out pretty soon. He had quite nicely parked his and his partner had taken her seat when he made his comments. I had not thought they did not have space as I had moved mine as far away as it was possible. Anyway, I take this route all the time and I spent the next two trips fervently hoping not to meet this guy again. Now with all the moral support from everyone I'm stronger and beginning not to care--looks like the problem is all his and I am sure he is troubling others as well. also, I get in first--so the problem is truly his !! ((:

[hemma]

Very sorry to hear about your bad experience and can't defend this unknown man in any way whatsoever. However, I would like to just make another plea on behalf of double buggy users. Like the previous mummy of twins, I've lost count of the number of buses that I have had to let pass me as one single was already on board. I spend every bus journey feeling nervous and guilty for the space I take up, and dread trying to manouevre off the bus if it starts to fill up. And planning a trip requires add-on time for letting buses pass and a complete avoidance of anything near peak times. I too have had numerous complaints and rudeness from complete strangers about my buggy but, sadly, until my twins are capable of walking, I have no choice. There is no excuse for this man's behaviour but please mummies, do remember it's not easy!

[metoo]

What do you mean get up from your seat? were you sitting in the 'flip-up' seat? would getting up have created more space in the buggy area?

[Devi]

yeah it is the flip-up seat...both the buggies (mine and his double one) were well accommodated as I had slid sideways in and pulled mine in towards me. My standing up meant both of them could sit (his partner was already seated). That was the difference it made. That was my original question in my first post--was this automatically expected from me.thanks

[moops]

His Partner was there as well?!! What did she have to say? (I'm assuming it's a woman!) This just makes it worse in my opinion, he wanted you to get up so their whole family could be accomodated? Very rude.

[Devi]

Yay, Moops. Thanks. She didn't say anything--but they had another language between them so I would not know anyway...yeah, i did find myself a bit outnumbered! cheers, devi