ok this may garner me the reputation of the local rant but here’s another issue that i’m hoping this community can solve.
i was at the park on clapham common (the one with the sand pit) with my son today, sunday. it was quiet. for a while, we were the only ones there. the first other kids to arrive were so happy to enjoy the space they had all to themselves. and then... the boxing began.
two men were training, one was a professional trainer, one was a client; and they were going at it about five feet from the fence of the playground.
first of all, it was loud. i noticed a few parents turning their heads in the direction of the sound and peering at the two figures. most were dads, for what it’s worth, to show that i’m not suffering from feminine sensitivity.
the match had all the appearance of a live boxing round and was -- i thought -- totally inappropriate in that location. as far as the kids were concerned, it was not exercize but a fight. how were they to know?
at a moment my son was safely distracted, i went over, and with apologies for interrupting, asked if they could move to a safer distance and explained that “the kids don’t know this isn’t a real fight.”
i thought -- perhaps innocently -- that this would garner affable, lighthearted excuses followed by a rapid de-camp. ...wrong.
the trainer (a big, Scottish bloke) pushed back and frankly adopted a counterproductive attitude. ...and i’m still searching my mind to reckon, why? what on earth could be gained by contesting the point? the activity is disruptive. go somewhere else. you’ve got the whole park.
if someone informs you that an activity you’re engaged in is disturbing their children, isn’t your first instinct simply to apologize? and move?
i insisted, “we’re just trying to play with our kids, and you’re fighting a boxing match five feet away. you have the whole park. why can’t you use some other space? why do you come to train at a children’s playground?”
i turned to run back to my son before he could get into trouble. that ended the discussion before it could escalate, but not before the Scottish bloke conceded with the most grudging of ill grace to move, “for the sake of no argument.” an argument, however, is exactly what we’d had.
it strikes me, that claiming the moral high ground when you’ve just refused a polite -- and legitimate -- request from a parent, on behalf of her kids, is ridiculous. what could be easier than to walk 25 yards away?
and it strikes me that if i had been another man, a dad, and not a mum, he might have obliged a polite request instead of picking a fight then claiming to avoid one -- a predicament that rankles, badly.
his main argument -- word choice deliberate -- was that the twelve rounds boxing mummies train next to the playground. and if i had had time enough to waste on this man, i would have explained to him, “that’s because their children are here with them, and they come to use the playground.”
but, what brings you here? this bloke’s client wasn’t at the park because he was a dad. they weren’t accompanied by family. they were only using the space, i would imagine, because it provides a convenient landmark. but by all means, meet there... then walk 25 yards away, to the west.
....can’t you find your own place to play, in other words?
kids aren’t scared of the boxing mummies because they are recognizable mummies. their routine is totally different and while it does involve some noise, it only gets going when the playground is packed and noisy already. plus, their moves in no way mimic a fight. they are recognizably exercize.
not to respect the space, is to show contempt for the rights of other people - many of them smaller, more vulnerable people, and their parents, who want to enjoy their time with them. i want to be with my son, not listen to men grunting and punching each other. family time is precious.
i planned on calling the parks police Monday morning, but before i do, i’m hoping that someone can share the name of the trainer or the firm that employs him, because i feel like this deserves a serious look-in.
two men, going at each other, at full volume, indistinguishable at short distance from a prize fight, do not belong next to a children’s playground. a professional local trainer who uses the park for his work, should know better than to spoil a Sunday morning we share with our kids.
....FIND YOUR OWN PLAYGROUND!
who’s with me?
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