Best friend diagnosed with Leukaemia... Post Reply

[littlebitloopy]

Hello All,

My beautiful best friend was diagnosed with Acute Adult Leukaemia yesterday after fainting and being taken to a&e on Saturday evening. She was started on chemo immediately last night which is expected to last 3-4 weeks depending on how well her body responds to it. While I'm angry and confused as to how and why this has happened to such an amazing person, I kknow I need to stay strong and get my best friend through this. I'm just totally out of my depth here though, we're only 24, I've never experienced an illness like this before even with my older relatives so I don't know what to expect or what to do. What things I can do for her to help her feel a little bit better and remind her although she's unwell, she is still the little bursting ball of energy I love so much. I've offered my support to both her and her partner and I know staying strong and positive is really the only thing I can do, but if anyone can offer me some advice, I'd be so grateful.

[Bensmum]

HI

I fully sympathise with you and your friend. My Dad sadly died recently of cancer and it is a horrific disease.

The best advice I received was to focus on nutrition and excerise........sounds silly but a lot of the nutritionists at the hosiptal stay eat anything just to keep the weight on, now the weight element if massively important BUT eating the wrong foods is almost worse. I learnt that Cancer feeds of SUGAR so avoid that one and there are very healthy and nutrional ways to keep weight on.

This book was a godsend - Nourish the cancer care cookbook - http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1848 ... UTF8&psc=1

Making food for her and her family is incredibly helpful what with hospital visits and people coming and going we found we had very little time to eat properly.

The other massively important thing is Exercise take your friend for walks to coffee shops so she keeps up her fitness and if she is gym goer get her back into the gym as soon as she is able as that will help her feel better nad flush the toxins out of the body.

Finally laughing nad not treating her like an invalid will help her feel normal and that in itself is a great healer. Spend as much time with her as you can

I am really sorry you are having to go through this

Nikki

[juliantenniscoach]

Sorry to read this. I've had cancer twice and it's very difficult to give you specific advice without knowing you both personally. One thing I would advise anyone is to get a second opinion. Irrespective of how well you think your friend is being treated, I'd be dead without my second opinion.

How your friend reacts to the chemo will set the agenda as to your role if you want to be supportive. It's a thin line being supportive and suppressive.

Feel free to PM if you want. I was 24yrs first time round and knew less than nothing too!

[HikingGirl]

We were 24 (my partner died of cancer when he was 25). I know all about this I am afraid. His best friends helped most by just being there, and always coming to visit and making him laugh. One of his best friends had giving himself the duty to make him laugh at least twice a week (he told me this many years later). Another friend, who was more of a spider in their mutual network of friends, made sure everyone was always informed of the latest developments and communicated his needs (there's always a new disaster around the corner with cancer, or not). My partner asked once, then he just did it, time and again. That way my partner still had lots of friends who came around to hospital, phoned and stayed in touch just when he needed it. The illness takes so much energy, that it was just wonderful someone 'managed' his social life a bit. Someone offered to come and clean once a week, so we would have more time together, rather than spending the bit of energy we had after hospital visits on cleaning. I helped most by keeping things normal, just continuing every day life as much as possible. His wish was not to feel ill.

[littlebitloopy]

Thank you ladies for your replies...

It's been a bit of a mad month so I apologies for my late replies. Your advice and stories have really helped me. My friend isnt allowed visits any more as her risk of developing infection is very high, so it's been tough not being able to hold her hand. We've been talking via text daily, I don't want to call incase she's resting or doesn't want to be disturbed.. I've found it a little tricky at times as although she doesn't want to be treated like she's ill some completely innocent and unrelated conversations can somehow become quiet personal to her and she can get upset, but I understand that she's going through a very hard time and her emotions will be up and down. For now I know all I can do is be there whem she needs me and wait it out until she gets a bit better.

Thanks again for your support x