New live-out nanny with an incredibly voracious appetite?? Post Reply

[Tibby]

She only started looking after our 1yr old daughter 5 weeks ago but I couldn't help noticing that she eats A LOT. It's either that or she's talking food home... I like having plenty of varied food in the fridge and kitchen cupboards and from day one I told her that I didn't mind her helping herself of whatever she fancied during the day but she really took my word for it - she seems to be raiding the kitchen for food, I cannot believe she can eat so much during the day (especially as she's not a big girl). Even though thg baby has 3 portions of fruit per day, the fruit bowl used to last the whole week. Now it will be empty in 2 to 3 days. This never happen before with our live-in nanny and also with the previous full time/live out nanny.

Although she was supposed to cook for the baby I don't know why but I'm still cooking all my daughter's meals myself in the eves when I come back from work - I admit that I love cooking her a variety of healthy meals in batches that I freeze and didn't really like what the new nanny has cooked for her so far. Last week I left some organic chicken breasts in the fridge and when I got home at night I realised that she had cooked and ate it, surely she could have at least prepared some for my daughter as well as she knows by now that's the kind of food I buy and prepare for her (MY daughter, not the nanny!). Or in the eves I'll read in the diary that my daughter had banana for breakfast AND afternoon snack that day but all the pears, apples and avocado that I left in the fruit bowl have also been gone (but aparently not eaten by my daughter...).

Can anyone please give me some advice? I don't know how to tackle it and nip it in the bud.. I really wouldn't want to tell her what she can or cannot eat in my house and I also want her to be happy in her workplace - And I do hope I'm not coming across here as someone stinge with food but I promise I'm not! To the contrary! I just thought I didn't need to point out to her that the baby comes first! Always! She used to be an au-pair before coming to work for us as a live out nanny and maybe she still has the 'au-pair' mentality and may also be trying to save money by not doing any food shopping?
Is there a non-spoken rule of what she's allowed to it during the day in the job that I don't know? I must add that apart from that she's been great with my daughter and maybe I should just be grateful for that and ignore the sudden increased food bills??

Thanks for any tips/advice?

[papinian]

To be honest, from the tone and content of your post, you sound like a not very good employer.

How much are you paying your "live-out nanny" / former au pair? You have her writing down everything your child eats?!? You make a point of saying that chicken breasts are "organic"? You refer to the "au pair mentality"!?!

Why don't you sit down with your nanny and say the following:

"I know that I said that you could help yourself to the food, but you are helping yourself to rather more than I had anticipated so can you please cut back a bit - maybe just one piece of fruit. By the way, baby comes first! Always!"

I wonder sometimes where these posts come from. First world problems is an understatement.

[natalieg2b]

You really need advice with this? Just sit down and be honest with her!
Remember most nannies work long days and she could well be eating her 3 meals at your house, she may be having playdates for your child in which case she'll be feeding another child plus their nanny/mother.
If it's such an issue, then leave instructions on what you'd like her to cook for your daughter although I expect if she's an experienced nanny this may not go down too well.
Just talk to her, she's looking after your most precious thing in the world-you must be able to communicate honestly and openly with each other if it's going to work out.

[watermancinders]

You are NOT a bad employer ( to the person that suggested you were!)

It's always difficult to find a happy medium in these situations.

But there are facts here......

She is eating you out of house and home and that cannot be denied.
You need to have a chat because something is not right if so much food is going over a few days.

Remember you are the employer and its better to clear the air now and that way everyone knows where they stand.

Good luck and keep smiling x

[Nanylookingtotemp]

If you have not already set up a contract of employment prehaps you should do so and incorporate some house rules into that! Depending on what hours your nanny works you may only need too provide her with 1 meal (lunch). Good communication is the key too all successful nanny jobs and your nanny should appreciate that also!

[Tibby]

Hi, thanks for your replies (apart from the first post!)

I know I'm not a bad employer and to that person that asked how much I was paying my nanny, as if sugesting I was exploiting her, fyi I am not! She's paid the ongoing rate working from mon-fri 8.30am to 6pm and gets about £400net per wk plus 5 wks paid holidays per year. Any eventual eve or wknd babysitting is paid extra at £10 p/hr.
And as per your surprise that she writes what my baby eats during the day, you don't even know what you're talking about, most childminders and professional nannies are the ones that initiate the practice of keeping a 'log book' with a summary of what the childrens in their charge ate and drank, how long they slept for and what activities they did that day. This is a valuable communication tool for parents at the end of a long day at work.

I know for sure that she hasn't entertained any nannies or mummies with kids in our place yet, she would have told me if she did. I have actually encouraged her to host a play group in our place eventually and believe me, if she does I will be more than happy to get yummy snacks and drinks for everyone.

It's just that I never had this issue of all the food in the fridge being eaten at once or finding half eaten packs of nuts, crisps etc in the cupboard every day... And I already had a live in nanny and another live out nanny before. Plus the cleaner comes every week and is also allowed to help herself of a little snack in the kitchen when she's around and tbh I hardly notice what she eats or not. So I was curious to know if anyone else had the same experience as I'm having now with the new nanny. Even discussed with my husband that she might have an eating disorder... I don't know, that's why I was after some advice and to hear other people's opinions.
Anyway, apart from that she's a lovely girl and really good with my daughter and I don't want to upset her so I'll see how it goes for a while and in the meantime I guess I'll just have to book an extra weekly food shopping delivery with Mr. Ocado!

[maxey]

We had an au pair who always eat the easiest and best things in the fridge. A bowl full of cherries on the side - she would eat every last one. Go to the fridge - what's the easiest thing 'Oh I think I'll just eat a load of salami!'
To actually prepare something seems a major problem for some of these young girls many of whom are little more than children themselves.
I would keep a record of consumption for a few days and then sit down for a chat!

[csml]

I can understand if you don't like what she is feeding your daughter - I think it is ok to raise this with her gently.

But I would be very, very cautious about telling her that you think she is eating too much. You never know, she might have a medical problem (or just a big appetitie) and this is a sensitive topic. At best she will think you are accusing her of being greedy, and at worst of being a thief. Is is really worth upsetting her over this?

If eating a lot is the worst thing that she does then I would just leave it and buy cheaper fruit (multipacks of apples rather than avocados!)

[Jen66]

Food costs an absolute fortune and she is taking advantage of you.

she is probably also, as you say, taking food home with her. That's stealing isn't it?

You are perfectly within your rights to say something. You need to have a chat with her in which you spell out that you would like her to cook a hot evening meal for the children (which she is welcome to share of course.) Why don't you offer to menu plan for her - that way she if you say 'chicken breasts on Thursday' she can't very well scoff them on the Tuesday.
Just say that you are concerned about how quickly the food is going and that you need it to last a little longer so you're going to come up with a weekly plan. It doesn't have to be confrontational.

Her feeding habit could well be costing you £100 a week. That's a lot. Nip it in the bud.

[people peace]

I agree 100% with Jen66!!

[MGMidget]

It sounds like she is either trying to eat all her meals at your house or taking food home to save money (maybe even to cover her days off/the weekends!). She may even be catering for a friend/boyfriend! Yes, having been an Au Pair before its quite likely she has got used to all food being provided by the employer and is trying to maintain this in the current job.

I think you will need to say something so as not to be taken advantage of. It also sounds like she needs to make more effort to cook the food for your daughter since that was part of the job.

When I had a nanny asked that she cooked and ate the same food as my son as much as possible. Perhaps you could suggest this? And also, its not unreasonable to ask her to keep a diary on your daughter's activities and food eaten each day. You could ask her to include what food she has eaten too - because you need to know which items are likely to be running out/need replacing to help you plan your food purchasing. And if ridiculous amounts of food are being consumed (i.e. far more than you would expect for her size) then you are right to question it and ask her to explain. If it carries on then I think I would start to set some limits as it does sound like it could be a case of stealing and at the moment you have given her unlimited access to your food.

[maxey]

Bang on MG Midget!

[moo moo]

As there's a possibility you may offend your nanny re. The discssion of food consumption (not a welcomed topic for any young girl!) You could ask her to write a list of food she likes to eat at work and keep these in a seperate area of the fridge/ cupboard. So, whatever food you purchase for your nanny, it has to her the week. You could position this ask as a way of :-
1. Ensuring your nanny has food she likes to eat in the house.
2. You have food to come home to each day to enable you to prepare your planned evening meal -i.e no I unwelcomed surprises of chicken breasts being scoffed.
It is a bit ''yours' and 'mine' but it may be a more cost effective and compassionate approach?

[nanny_kitty]

As a nanny myself I think these situations are delicate and best handled in a non-confrontational way in order to preserve goodwill for the future.

That said, she is not behaving professionally (I think you've already identified this in your reference to the au pair mentality). I agree with previous posters that she is probably using your fridge to avoid having to do a grocery shop - as was perfectly acceptable when she was an au pair. I can't imagine she thinks she's doing much wrong.

As other posters have suggested, reiterate that she is welcome to eat her meals at yours when she is working, but to log it so you can keep on top of grocery shopping. Meal plans would also encourage her to make what you want for your little one, and hopefully prevent her from eating the things that you have earmarked.

It may seem excessive, but if there is no evidence of food packaging in the bin then she's taking food home, and if your gentle hints don't work you may need to be more direct. This is not something you should let slide.