Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny

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Suslik
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Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny

Postby Suslik » Wed Aug 04, 2010 11:15 pm

Last wednesday 28Jul just after 11am I was on wandsworth common near the duck pond on the bollingbroke grove side, by the road. A nanny came with two twin girls, both dressed the same (pink sun hats and white with blue dresses), age i would guess somewhere between 1 and 1.5 years old. The nanny got them out of the pram and onto the bench near the pond. I think she was going to give them a snack. I have been alerted by her shouting at the girls rather loudly and unpleasantly. I stopped and stayed around to observe. She did it twice and really very harshly, in as many minutes. The only reason for shouting was that one of the girls (i think named Eliza, but not too sure) stood up on the bench. She shouted 'sit down, eliza' twice.

As i said, the manner in which she did it (very harsh and in my opinion totally out of line with the situation - if you shout at a toddler this age for standing up on a bench you would be shouting all day???). So harsh that it attracted my attention sufficiently to turn back and watch! I would not want this nanny looking after my kids. I would like to ask anyone who might recognise the children in question to contact their mother/father and let them know of this. Should they want to speak to me, please just send me a message via the nappyvalleynet.com. the nanny was on the chubby side and either asian or something like mexican - sorry could not tell any better.

Annabel,
please see which forum this post needs to go into.
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LadyInRed
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Re: Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny

Postby LadyInRed » Wed Aug 04, 2010 11:31 pm

I really like this post and I think that we could maybe use this space to report these kind of things. Last year I was always bumping into a childminder who would treat her mindee rather awfully and at the same time she would trat her own son very well even when it was her son who was misbehaving....I just wish I knew that little girlĀ“s mum so I could tell her what was ging on... :|
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Helgibbs
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Re: Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny

Postby Helgibbs » Thu Aug 05, 2010 12:41 pm

I agree.

Any issues regarding child protection and safeguarding of children should always be taken seriously.
Whether the children are in the care of parents, relatives, friends, nannies or childminders.

If you suspect a child is being abused in any way you should be prepared to speak up.

H
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Suslik
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Re: Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny

Postby Suslik » Thu Aug 05, 2010 3:23 pm

I agree. I was not saying that the girls were being abused though, just not really the kind of attitude i would want to pay a nanny for.
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Helgibbs
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Re: Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny

Postby Helgibbs » Fri Aug 06, 2010 1:48 pm

Yes, I know. I hope you track them down, they sound very distinctive. It can be worrying when your instinct tells you something isnt quite right.

H
x
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Tealover
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Re: Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny

Postby Tealover » Fri Aug 06, 2010 7:07 pm

well done you on posting this message. I recently had a dilema about whether to inform my neighbours about the behaviour of a temporary nanny they had. They were at a wedding all day on a Saturday and got a nanny from a well know local nanny agency. I was alerted to her behaviour as I constantly heard her shouting at the boys in the garden all day. I had a look out of a bedroom window and she was sitting on a chair in the garden sunning herself for quite a long time, smoking while on the phone. She stopping chatting every so often to shout at the boys to stop doing whatever they were doing. This continued all afternoon and I did not see any evidence of her playing with the two boys. I was not sure whether to tell my neighbour or not - did not want to come across as a busybody and did not want to make them feel bad that they boys had been treated like this all day. I ended up not mentioning it and this post is making me reconsider.

I'm sure a coincidence - but she looked very similar to the nanny described above.
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moops
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Re: Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny

Postby moops » Fri Aug 06, 2010 9:01 pm

I agree that this is a great post.

I used to see a Childminder walking along Garratt Lane in Earlsfield ahead of the child she was 'looking after' and listening to her iPod! I always thought I would hate it if she was looking after my child and I didn't know what she got up to all day. I think the Parents of the twins you saw would be very interested in what you have to say.
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Devi
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Re: Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny

Postby Devi » Fri Aug 06, 2010 10:41 pm

Many thanks for your post. I had a similar experience recently. I went to a lovely music class several times with my child this month at St. Barnabas' Church, Clapham Common Northside, (corner of Lavender Gardens). On two days an elderly nanny who has trouble walking and speaks either Italian or Spanish in addition to English came with a little boy (more than two but looked little) named (I think) Sebastian. The first day the boy was terrified of the class and the nanny yelled at him to join in. To my amazement he was holding a little pin (the kind one uses on noticeboards) in his fist. I managed to take it from him. He was shivering and crying throughout (the nanny had not joined in the singing in any way). A few other mothers also noticed and some of us asked the nanny what was up. She explained the boy was sleepy and it was his first class. Also she did not seem very concerned about the pin. I really wondered if I could find the boy's parents' details but I missed her leaving the place as my son urgently needed to use the loo. I called up the music organizer and informed her but she did not know this child's family. A couple of days later they turned up again about 20 minutes late for the 30 minutes class. But this day the boy looked quite ok much to my relief. So I am not sure I had any ground for worrying about him. Also I was not sure how I could ask for the parents' contact details. I think the nanny was rather wary of me this time around. I find it distressful about the lack of concern about the pin and the manner in which she was yelling at the child the first day. I certainly would not tolerate this for my
child if I got to know. I hope that day was an exception but I would want the child's parents to at least know about it. If you are the child's parent or someone who knows them please take heed.
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cupoftea
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Re: Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny

Postby cupoftea » Sat Aug 07, 2010 9:26 am

I have seen nanny's on many occassion, where I do not think that I would like that nanny to be looking after my child.

It got me thinking though, how do you know when it is a nanny, mum or granny?

I think we shouldn't always be so quick to judge, and in some cases there will be bad nanny's, just as certainly as there will be interfering old busy bodies.

What I'm trying to say is, be sure of what you see, and not rely solely on your opinion, because it may be somebody's livelihood at stake.
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AbbevilleMummy
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Re: Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny

Postby AbbevilleMummy » Sat Aug 07, 2010 3:16 pm

I constantly see truely horrendous nannies when walking around the commons or at playgroups/classes etc. So much so that it has made me reconsider going back to work full time and hiring a nanny.

I think that a dedicated thread such as this for reporting bad nannying behaviour can only be a good thing. I would certainly check it frequenty if I employed a nanny and hopefully word will get around and bad tempered, unattentive nannies will improve their behaviour for fear of being reported on this site.
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Devi
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Re: Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny

Postby Devi » Sat Aug 07, 2010 3:54 pm

I asked the woman if she is the nanny and she certainly was one, but I appreciate that it could have been a family member and that is why I asked her. I am sure there are many instances, sadly, where family members are also not appropriate child carers.
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GWcouns
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Re: Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny

Postby GWcouns » Mon Aug 09, 2010 11:11 am

I have a similar story, twice I have seen a nanny, middle-aged-ish, phillipino or similar, and she looks after a little blonde boy. I have seen her twice, once on Wandsworth Common pushing him in a buggy, and once walking down Broomwoood Road, away from Wandsworth common, again he was in the buggy. The first time she dropped his cup of drink onto his lap from behind as she was pushing the pram, and kept saying really sternly "you hurry up, you hurry up" and while he was still drinking she stopped the pram and took it away from him and said "I said you hurry up" it was really weird and horrible, just bullying behaviour. The sad thing was the little boy didn't even get upset, he just looked really subdued. The second time I saw her she was quite away from me but I could hear her shouting at him in a really mean voice. If the description rings any bells, please let the parents know. I could easily identify her if required. I have determined as well that if I see her again I am going to try and follow her home so I can contact the parents.
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MGMidget
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Re: Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny

Postby MGMidget » Mon Aug 09, 2010 11:34 am

Certainly I welcome hearing of any inappropriate behaviour as I employ a nanny (hopefully a good one!). I think subtle enquiries of friends, neighbours who bump into your child and nanny from time to time can be useful too. So yes a forum to report this type of thing is helpful. Of course all childcarers (including parents, grannies, childminders as well as nannies) can have an 'off' day. I think parents are sensible enough not to sack a nanny just on the basis on something reported on a forum (unless its sufficiently bad to merit it!) but it enables them to be more alert and look for themselves for signs of things that are wrong. For example, I wouldn't want a nanny looking after my child who left him 'subdued' with no self esteem. Hopefully a few children's lives could be improved if more people spoke up or used this forum to alert others to something worrying. I will certainly use this forum to report anything bad that I see.
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Francesca
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Re: Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny

Postby Francesca » Mon Aug 09, 2010 11:48 am

As a working mum I find this trend very helpful - I certainly would like to know if my nanny
behaved like this with my kids and to be honest when she first started I asked local mummy
friends to keep an eye on her. I now completely trust her and I know she is amazing with my kids.

But I also saw 2 awful nannies in Caffe Nero on Battersea Rise on a Friday morning early July.
They were sitting down chatting in Russian and having a coffee and a muffin in the back of
Caffe Nero. Both dark hair and in their early 20s. They were looking after 2 boys
(one blond and about 2 and in a Maclaren buggy) and both boys were strapped in their
buggies and not allowed out - my kids were running around and playing with toys that are
provided at Caffe nero. One of the boys tried to take a bit of the nanny's muffin
and she slapped him on the hand.
Again what absolutely shocked me is that the little boy did not cry - almost like if this was
normal behaviour. I asked the boy what his name was and as soon as I did this they rushed
out of the coffee shop. I think they knew that I was shocked at their behaviour and about
the slap on the hand and the fact that I was practically in tears thinking about the mum of this
little boy.

In the States there are websites that report this type of incident.

I know that it is a very emotional subject and as other posts mentioned there are peoples
livelihoods at stake but as I said if it was my kids I would want to know........
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JoBoyle
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Re: Looking for mum of twin girls cared for by a nanny

Postby JoBoyle » Tue Aug 10, 2010 5:59 pm

I agree, I'd want to know. A mum recently recognised my little boy with our nanny and the next day told me it was so lovely to watch such a warm relationship. Good to know both ways. By the way she's got 2 to 3 days free soon if anyone is looking. Jo
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