Bully at soft play. What would you do? Post Reply

[rebs30000]

So I'm after abit of advice. I took my son to a soft play area today and he was having a lovely time playing with his cousin. They are both five. Anyway, we was sitting at a table nearby watching and could see another little boy following my son around. He came out to tell me that the boy had been pushing and kicking him at the top n that he kicked him back by accident. I didn't tell him off for kicking back but did tell him if it happens again then to just tell the boy to leave him alone and walk away. For the next 20 mins I watched the boy follow my son around everywhere pushing him n hitting him etc n my son was shouting to leave him alone n pushing his hands away when he was hurting him. The parents wernt saying anything except "stop" n that was it. I was feeling annoyed by this point so went in myself n told him to leave him alone. He didn't. He was ruining my sons fun and I was tempted t tell him to just hit back!! But I've never been a fan of that. But my question is, would you have told him to hit back eventually? I felt sorry for my son. And I do not want him to be a target for bullies!!

[gruffalo's dad]

I read an column in The Times last week about the columnist's mother taking an eight year child by the hair and dragging the child across the room because the child had used a racist insult to the columnist (then 8 also). I thought the mother's action was pretty sickening, but lots of commenters applauded it.

From your post, I understand that the bully is the same age as your son. I don't know what soft play area you are at, but I would have pointed out to the management that the bully is assaulting your son and that they need to tell the bully's parents to remove him. I would not have intervened myself. If the management refused to do anything I would have taken my son and made a complaint later.

I think what you are most worried about is that there is something about your son that bullies will pick up on and target him as a result. I think this is a very valid concern, although I don't know how true it is in the case of your son.

Given the age of the children I think it is most likely that the bully is poorly socialised. Unfortunately, in the context of a one-off visit to the soft play area there's nothing that you can do to fix that.

[Furzedown Dad]

I'm sure this isn't the "right" response, but if someone was bullying one of my children, and they came to me upset and asking for help, I certainly would intervene - and to the OP, I wouldn't wait for 20 minutes of bullying to pass before I did it, either.

I don't want my kids growing up thinking that I can't or won't do anything to help them in situations like that, and that they have to rely on someone else to protect them, even when I'm right there.

Obviously I'm not talking about someone else's child away by their hair or anything like that, but I'd speak to the child myself and ask them to stop. And if they didn't, I would work out who their parents were and speak to them.